tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6584420.post8011821788608219319..comments2024-03-19T14:44:41.142+00:00Comments on incurable hippie's musings and rants: Bullies Defending the Patriarchy.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger89125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6584420.post-27824094793552958332007-05-11T19:34:00.000+01:002007-05-11T19:34:00.000+01:00Mutually consenting adults should be able to do wh...Mutually consenting adults should be able to do whatever they want behind private doors. It's not that hard to understand: If an action doesn't infringe upon someones: Life, Liberty, or Property then it is none of the government's (or anyone else's) business.<BR/><BR/>God I'm glad I don't live in the U.K. At least I can console myself with the fact that the sun set on the British empire a long time ago. <BR/><BR/>Now the British are content with simply suppressing their own citizens with totalitarian laws instead of forcing them on people living in other countries.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6584420.post-34317794833899144992007-04-18T15:20:00.000+01:002007-04-18T15:20:00.000+01:00Remember you can sit in a garage but it dosen't ma...<I>Remember you can sit in a garage but it dosen't make you into a car.</I><BR/><BR/>I love how simplistic the thought processes are here. Aristotelian, even.<BR/><BR/>Well, you can also believe in the tenets of Christianity but not respect the Pope. This means you aren't a Catholic, but you're still a Christian.<BR/><BR/>We may not be radfems, but that doesn't mean we aren't feminists.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6584420.post-39232938144622945882007-04-18T09:09:00.000+01:002007-04-18T09:09:00.000+01:00You know, I can't help but think that this thread ...You know, I can't help but think that this thread has lost a lot of its monentum.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6584420.post-83799057518023100672007-04-16T02:25:00.000+01:002007-04-16T02:25:00.000+01:00Radceratops:Thanks for your message. I haven't act...Radceratops:<BR/><BR/>Thanks for your message. I haven't actually read any recent messages on Hippie's blog, so I wasn't aware of the situation.<BR/><BR/>My sympathies to her and apologies for any distress caused.Affordable Grahamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15726516591227508767noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6584420.post-82899815996861329922007-04-15T20:22:00.000+01:002007-04-15T20:22:00.000+01:00Jenny, your minor rant of “what about the menz” in...Jenny, your minor rant of “what about the menz” including the notion that feminism Is merely concerned with equal rights and indeed “men believing in equal rights for women” only proves your lack of knowledge on the subject. I suggest you try this site for further guidance. http://finallyfeminism101.blogspot.com/<BR/><BR/>Remember you can sit in a garage but it dosen't make you into a car.<BR/><BR/>KerryAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6584420.post-16334253195253148222007-04-15T18:38:00.000+01:002007-04-15T18:38:00.000+01:00Graham I feel that people need to show some sensit...Graham I feel that people need to show some sensitivity towards Hippie now - instead of asking questions.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6584420.post-27874856915718586502007-04-15T18:37:00.000+01:002007-04-15T18:37:00.000+01:00Just a thought on the feminists around who scream ...Just a thought on the feminists around who scream murder when any man becomes involved in any discussion on feminism?<BR/><BR/>Where on earth does it say you have to be female to be feminist? I know plenty of men who believe women should have equal rights to men.<BR/><BR/>Fine, there are men out there who would like to see women have fewer rights: but don't tar them all with the same brush. Many, the majority, don't agree with those men.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6584420.post-87158371568133683772007-04-15T15:39:00.000+01:002007-04-15T15:39:00.000+01:00Ok, this thread has been going on for a while now,...Ok, this thread has been going on for a while now, and kudos to Incurable Hippie for letting people from all sides of the discussion post comments in here.<BR/><BR/>So now I'd like to ask Incurable Hippie if she still feels that her original comments about us being "Bullies defending the patriarchy" or that we're making "personal attacks on Charliegrrl" are accurate.<BR/><BR/>I would like to hope that we've managed to convince at least a few people that all we want is the right for consenting adults, male or female, to be able to engage in perfectly legal activities *AND* take photographs of them without the full weight of the law descending on us and throwing us in jail for three years.<BR/><BR/>If someone doesn't like this material, they have the right not to look at it, but they shouldn't tell us that we can't just because it's not acceptable in their subjective opinion.Affordable Grahamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15726516591227508767noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6584420.post-18697245020620993532007-04-14T23:28:00.000+01:002007-04-14T23:28:00.000+01:00I agree, let's drop name calling whichever "side" ...I agree, let's drop name calling whichever "side" people are on.<BR/><BR/>Ellen:<BR/><BR/><I>"A woman likes BDSM? Doesn't like BDSM? Fine! But having a bunch of men come in here and tell women that they need to listen to men because men know what's best for women? Fucking patronizing."</I><BR/><BR/>Can I ask where has anyone done that?<BR/><BR/>Agreed, it should be fine that some people like BDSM, and others don't. The problem is those people supporting a law that would put people in prison. It's those people in support of the law who are telling men and women what they should do, because they think they know best for them.<BR/><BR/><I>"YOU don't get to define feminism. If a woman wrote a post about how she loved the shit outta BDSM, you wouldn't get to tell her that it's wrong for women to like that because it's "not ladylike", that she's a slut or that she's not a real woman. You don't get to tell her that her BDSM practice invalidates her politics. Feminism ain't for you to define."</I><BR/><BR/>Yes, exactly - yet that's just what people have been doing (e.g., see charliegrrl's blog, where she starts <I>"We get told we don’t have the right to say what is and isn’t feminist to other feminists. But I think there has to be a line drawn somewhere in the definition of feminism."</I>)<BR/><BR/>Did someone say that women against BDSM aren't feminists? (If they did, I'd agree that's wrong too.) Who used the word "slut", I can't see that in this thread?<BR/><BR/>And, erm, the only person who used "Victorian" was verte, who is a woman... (in fact she's the one organising the workshop, as she states!)<BR/><BR/>Commenting on a blog does not count as "spam".<BR/><BR/><I>"And @ the guy who complained about women saying "hateful" things about men? Wah fucking wah."</I><BR/><BR/>1. Just because people A say hateful things to people B, doesn't give the right for people B to say hateful things to people C, unless you believe in discriminating people based on their gender.<BR/><BR/>2. You don't get to have the moral high ground and complain of hateful comments when the hatred seems to be pointed in the other direction at least as much.<BR/><BR/><I>"Men say and do hateful things to other men all the damned time (yo, WAR), and they're the ones who are actually passing the legislation that aims to curtail your bedroom actvities and censor you and suppress your right to free speech more than any bogeyfeminist would ever want to."</I><BR/><BR/>Yes, exactly. This is very much men telling what men and women can do, though some women are supporting them in doing so.<BR/><BR/>And yes, I'm a man, I'm not fucking off from a public blog that has comments allowed. Perhaps we can debate sensibly rather than making such comments. Thanks.<BR/><BR/>As a man, I have no concern about what should or shouldn't be counted as "feminism". But I am concerned about laws which may affect me, and you are also mistaken if you think that the people in this thread discussing feminism are necessarily men.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6584420.post-83236927715102637472007-04-14T13:43:00.000+01:002007-04-14T13:43:00.000+01:00Ok, can we please drop the name calling now? This ...Ok, can we please drop the name calling now? <BR/><BR/>This was actually turning into a reasonable debate (unlike Charliegrrl's blog which seems now to just be a list of people chorusing "yes, I agree with you") it would be nice to keep things polite so we can avoid claims of "bullying" on either side.Affordable Grahamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15726516591227508767noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6584420.post-49680057822364172982007-04-14T05:04:00.000+01:002007-04-14T05:04:00.000+01:00Graham, ellen means "disagree", not "debate". Cha...Graham, ellen means "disagree", not "debate". Charliegrrl can disagree with other feminists.<BR/><BR/>Men are not allowed to debate anything with "true feminists" (meaning women, apparently) or disagree with them, because it triggers women to have to defend their rhetoric. See how easy it is? Try to make any rhetorical point against radical feminists, and you are a disgusting rapist. Granted, you're a man, so you're a rapist anyway. Hope that helps.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6584420.post-22600688658759394232007-04-14T02:23:00.000+01:002007-04-14T02:23:00.000+01:00Charliegrrl is a woman. She's allowed to debate ot...<B> Charliegrrl is a woman. She's allowed to debate other feminists. </B><BR/><BR/>It's just a pity that she chooses not to. <BR/><BR/>(Or, indeed, anyone else whose viewpoint differs from hers)Affordable Grahamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15726516591227508767noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6584420.post-7819482824054842052007-04-14T01:16:00.000+01:002007-04-14T01:16:00.000+01:00Should be: in it.Should be: <I>in</I> it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6584420.post-56948483421737355672007-04-13T14:16:00.000+01:002007-04-13T14:16:00.000+01:00Ellen, you are excellent. Thank you. In just a few...Ellen, you are excellent. Thank you. In just a few paragraphs you crystalised all the spanner-headed man-hating that your sorority have managed to obfuscate around. I applaud you for your idiocy, and for making it that much easier to ignore the opinions of you and your kind. Now stop swearing so much. It's not lady-like.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6584420.post-59705260118590055472007-04-13T12:54:00.000+01:002007-04-13T12:54:00.000+01:00Ellen:If "feminism is not for us [men] to define" ...Ellen:<BR/><BR/>If "feminism is not for us [men] to define" what about women like Charliegrrl who seems to think that she has the "One True Way" of feminism and tells any woman who disagrees with her that they're doing it wrong?<BR/><BR/>And why is it only the men posting on here you want to "fuck off"? Does being a man mean that I am unable to even comprehend what feminism is? I'd also remind you that not a few of the posters on here are female.<BR/><BR/>As for <I>I see it's way easier to eviscerate a random young woman with no power than it is to take it out on your higher-statused asshole male peers.</I><BR/><BR/>Perhaps you're not aware that I started a petition (signed by over 1,800 people, including women!) on the UK Prime Minister's website calling for him to abandon "the legislation that aims to curtail your bedroom actvities and censor you and suppress your right to free speech"<BR/><BR/>We've also had a reply from David Cameron, leader of the Opposition saying that his party will have to look at the law which is put before Parliament very carefully to ensure that it will work properly and is fair. We've also approached many other MPs, many of whom are male.<BR/><BR/>However our campaign to preserve the rights of *all* adults to decide for themselves what they can or cannot see (provided it features consenting adults) when we get people deliberately misrepresenting what we do and saying that we "support rape" (we don't) or we "don't care about violence against women" (we do) or we "support an industry that "kills women for sexual pleasure" (a complete urban myth).<BR/><BR/>If you think that correcting these sorts of things is "trying to censor" someone, this is clearly a definition of "censorship" that we weren't previously aware of.<BR/><BR/>As for "eviscerating a random young woman", how about the woman on the panel who was driven to tears by (female) members of the audience shouting her down and demanding she tell everyone whether she had been raped or not? Do you consider that to be acceptable behaviour?Affordable Grahamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15726516591227508767noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6584420.post-72185323227566939782007-04-13T08:49:00.000+01:002007-04-13T08:49:00.000+01:00The feminist blog comment enforcement unit hereby ...The feminist blog comment enforcement unit hereby orders you to moderate this here post. <BR/><BR/>We recommend the following measures to ensure the health and safety of blog owner and passersby during mop-up:<BR/><BR/>* Grade-III toxo-gloves<BR/>* 200-400 nm face-shields<BR/>* Lead apronsRadzillahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12298251984629746806noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6584420.post-50097056496804437192007-04-13T02:23:00.000+01:002007-04-13T02:23:00.000+01:00I wish the men commenting on this thread would fuc...I wish the men commenting on this thread would fuck right off. Like, now. <BR/><BR/>A woman likes BDSM? Doesn't like BDSM? Fine! But having a bunch of men come in here and tell women that they need to listen to men because men know what's best for women? Fucking <I>patronizing.</I> <BR/><BR/>Dear Idiots: YOU don't get to define feminism. If a woman wrote a post about how she loved the shit outta BDSM, you wouldn't get to tell her that it's wrong for women to like <I>that</I> because it's "not ladylike", that she's a slut or that she's not a real woman. You don't get to tell her that her BDSM practice invalidates her politics. Feminism ain't for you to define.<BR/><BR/>Likewise, if a woman writes that she hates BDSM from a feminist perspective, you DO NOT get to call her Victorian, spam her blog, launch a stream of sexist attacks against her, or question her sexuality because "some women don't agree with that!" Well, duh! But are you "some women"? Nope, you're a dude, and as such you don't get to tell women what feminism does and doesn't mean, and really oughtta shut the fuck up on that count.<BR/><BR/>Oh, and? Sad to be so insecure with your perspective that <I>one young woman questioning it</I> (specifcally, whether discussing rape play at an exhibition might be triggering for abuse survivors) is enough to make you expend so much time and energy trying to censor her (oh, the irony!) and generally being a pain in the ass.<BR/><BR/>And @ the guy who complained about women saying "hateful" things about men? Wah fucking wah. Men say and do hateful things to other men all the damned time (yo, WAR), and they're the ones who are actually passing the legislation that aims to curtail your bedroom actvities and censor you and suppress your right to free speech more than any bogeyfeminist would ever want to. But, I see it's way easier to eviscerate a random young woman with no power than it is to take it out on your higher-statused asshole male peers.<BR/><BR/>Fucking tools.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6584420.post-20461382015605764492007-04-12T22:51:00.000+01:002007-04-12T22:51:00.000+01:00"And we don't use three question marks when one su...<I>"And we don't use three question marks when one suffices just fine."</I><BR/><BR/>However, using "and" to begin a sentence is just fine?<BR/><BR/>Call the enthusiasm for question marks - *question mark play* - all the question marks consented during this play, and had the option of using the safe word "comma". If any question marks accidentally died during typing, well, it was just a case of typing-gone-bad.<BR/><BR/>But all is fair in the *game* of typing eh? Who cares if a few question marks die? As long as the Almighty Typing Orgasm is achieved.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6584420.post-15565848351991782312007-04-12T20:33:00.000+01:002007-04-12T20:33:00.000+01:00running out of ideas for funny IDs said...Ah, it s...<B> running out of ideas for funny IDs said...</B><BR/><BR/>Ah, it seems someone's finally twigged that I'm not impressed by their attempts to "Out" me.<BR/><BR/>Unfortunately they're now trying to characterise people as my "handmaidens"...!<BR/><BR/>ROFL! Yeah, I wish! <BR/><BR/>(PS NB this is *sarcasm*, in case anyone didn't realise, ok?)<BR/><BR/>Oh, BTW, you might like to have a a look at http://www.affordable-leather.co.uk/resources.htm which details what Safe Words are and how to use them. <BR/><BR/>It also has a couple of Negotiation Documents (short and long versiosn) that allow BDSM players to list what they would like to do (and, of course, what they would *NOT* like to do) in order to ensure that everyone has Safe, Sane and Consensual fun.<BR/><BR/>Finally there's a couple of book recommendations including The Topping Book and The Bottoming Book by Catherine A Liszt and Dossie Eason (yes two *women*, neither of whom have been subjugated by men) which are gides to BDSM focussing more on the "emotional" and "relationship" sides than just techniques.<BR/><BR/>I suggest people who don't understand BDSM take a look at these, maybe they will help resolve some of the confusion you are experiencing and counter the misinformation you've heard.Affordable Grahamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15726516591227508767noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6584420.post-19776626337143249502007-04-12T16:21:00.000+01:002007-04-12T16:21:00.000+01:00Unlike your handmaidens, most of whom hide behind ...<I>Unlike your handmaidens, most of whom hide behind "anonymous" ???</I><BR/><BR/>Well, at least we aren't ethically bankrupt. And we don't use three question marks when one suffices just fine.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6584420.post-78935325482555852342007-04-12T14:14:00.000+01:002007-04-12T14:14:00.000+01:00"Oh look, *another* inventive nickname for someone...<I>"Oh look, *another* inventive nickname for someone to hide behind. Or perhaps I should say "sock puppet"?"</I><BR/><BR/>Unlike your handmaidens, most of whom hide behind "anonymous" ???Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6584420.post-69235884126430843792007-04-12T12:04:00.000+01:002007-04-12T12:04:00.000+01:00The thing about "rape play" is that it isn't rape ...The thing about "rape play" is that it isn't rape by definition. I try to avoid the term altogether due to the negative connotations and that some people mistakenly think we must be talking about actually raping people for fun.<BR/><BR/>What's the difference between rape and non-rape sex? Is it the violence? Is it if it's done by a stranger? Or is it consent?<BR/><BR/>Most people are capable of distinguishing between fantasy and reality - it's common to refer to a "rape" in a film, even though it's clear that no actual rape has taken place, and it is all simulated. But according to some here, that is still rape, or just as bad.<BR/><BR/>It's not clear whether the proposed law would include depictions of rape, but if it does, how is it decided that something counts as a depiction of rape? We should convict people because of a film of their private sexual acts, just because the woman or man was saying "No, no", even though they had previously agreed, and decided upon an alternative word to say to indicate no for real? What about if he or she didn't say "No", but the sex looks rough, or involves bondage or a gag? What about a still image - how do you judge whether that depicts "rape" or not?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6584420.post-26317692554550253972007-04-12T02:28:00.000+01:002007-04-12T02:28:00.000+01:00Southsea saddo:Oh look, *another* inventive nickna...Southsea saddo:<BR/><BR/>Oh look, *another* inventive nickname for someone to hide behind. Or perhaps I should say "sock puppet"?<BR/><BR/><B>All of the above was publicly available information Grah-grah. Mine is NOT.</B><BR/><BR/>What exactly does it have to do with the subject under discussion where I live or what my phone number is?<BR/><BR/><B>Besides, let's call this little episode *blog play* because you can make ANYTHING sound good if you just stick the word *play* on the end of it</B><BR/><BR/>Providing, of course, it's Safe, Sane and Consensual.<BR/><BR/>Can you say that these apply to your activities on here?Affordable Grahamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15726516591227508767noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6584420.post-16900482987317379512007-04-12T02:22:00.000+01:002007-04-12T02:22:00.000+01:00For a bad time Yeah graham - and you like to talk ...<I> For a bad time </I><BR/><BR/><B>Yeah graham - and you like to talk on forums whether men who have sexual offences should be okays with working with children...and everything else that has been posted here - do you not understand Graham ----- we know who you are.</B><BR/><BR/>And your point is what, exactly?<BR/><BR/>Am I supposed to feel intimidated or bullied by that? Am I supposed to be scared into stopping posting? Am I meant to be worried that my neighbours or my family might find out what I do?<BR/><BR/>And you don't "know who I am", because if you did, you'd know that I couldn't give a toss about this sort of petty BS.<BR/><BR/>I have the courage to post my opinions under my own name.<BR/><BR/>Do you?Affordable Grahamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15726516591227508767noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6584420.post-27416897268749328012007-04-12T02:08:00.000+01:002007-04-12T02:08:00.000+01:00In all honesty, dating within the BDSM scene is ve...In all honesty, dating within the BDSM scene is very much like dating out in the rest of the world. <BR/><BR/>We have our 'rules', we should all follow SSC (Safe, Sane, Consensual), we should all follow each other's limits, etc. <BR/><BR/>Most people in the scene are great people. But like the rest of the world, we're not perfect (that'd be impossible, aye?). <BR/>Accidents do happen, some people play with fairly extreme stuff (in here I'd throw needles, knives, breath play, rape play and several other things). Personally I don't do any of those, both because they're just not interesting and because I have security and/or ethical issues with some of these. But that's me, I assume that those who do these kinds of play learn how to do them as safely as possible (and if I found out they didn't I'd tell them just how stupid and careless they are). <BR/><BR/>I guess you could call me a bit 'soft' in terms of what it seems many of you think about BDSM. And for the record, I'm a Dominant woman, I'm currently celibate by choice, and I'm not sure if I can call myself a feminist since I'm not very preoccupied with gender, but rather the individual, although I am very inspired by the early feminist Margaret Fuller. <BR/><BR/>Now, BDSM the way the community has defined it is as secure as we can get it. Most of us are not sick at all and most of us don't really do things that are all that different to what a lot of people do in privacy, but who don't speak that loudly about their private kinky sex, nor do they need to. You don't have to do anything very extreme because you define yourself as a BDSMer. <BR/><BR/>However, there are bad people also among us. There are new people who still have not learned to do things safely. I did a couple of mistakes in my first couple of scenes, and I learned a lot from them, because I have absolutely no wish to treat someone wrongly (and no harm was done, I just used the whip a bit too hard since I was new at it, I'm way careful to find someone's reactions to pain the slow way now). Sometimes people do things a bit wrong, and as long as no harm (bodily or mentally) is done, it is simply human. Not good, but human, we're no better or worse than anyone else. And hopefully we learn from our mistakes and make sure the people involved feel the mistake is amended in some way or another. <BR/><BR/>Also, not all people in the BDSM community are good by default. We do not like it, but sometimes there comes in someone who is not a good person. Imagine the wolf dressed as a sheep. Yes, there have been cases of abuse also among those who do BDSM, even though we try very hard to keep them out. I know of both women and men who thought they had found a safe partner and then found themselves abused, there are both men and women who use BDSM as a disguise to lure others into unhealthy relationships, discovering too late that the person was not safe at all. I wish these things didn't happen, but they do. <BR/><BR/>Do not make this sound like BDSM in itself is dangerous, because it's not, as long as it's practiced in a safe environment. BDSM is not abuse, but sadly, yes, abuse can be disguised as BDSM when a psychopath convinces his/her partner that this is the case. The reality is, of course, that these are not BDSM, I agree to the fullest that no one can give consent to mental harm (such as being convinced that the abuse is not abuse). <BR/><BR/>I also agree that a person cannot give consent to bodily harm that will constrict the person's ability to lead a normal life (such as amputation, unsafe sex with someone who has HIV/AIDS or other STD's, for that matter, etc). Marks after a cane disappear after a few days at most, they hurt when you receive them and possibly for a little while after, but they don't last (unless you do it very often, of course). Needle and knife play *must* be done with safe equipment to avoid infections, and first aid equipment must be within reach, and done safely they should leave no more than scars at the most (some people actually like having scars, there are artists performing professional scarification). <BR/><BR/>I could preach on and on about safety for an eternity, I'm glad I've had the opportunity to take a very good class in first aid (that had nothing to do with BDSM, though, it's simply a duty as a human being to know how to help people in need). <BR/><BR/>Like in dating for others, the most important thing is to get to know people very well before doing any kind of play with them. Preferably you should even get references from someone you trust. <BR/><BR/>And if anyone ever think they're into BDSM because of abuse or think BDSM is therapy, they should get an appointment with a psychologist to talk about their problems. Safe, sane and consensual are as important on the mental level as on the physical level.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com