Sunday, April 09, 2006

Flowery Metallic Rain.

I had a day out yesterday, with Z, my Mum, my sister and her hubby. Amongst other places, we went to the Millennium Galleries and the Winter Gardens.

Winter Gardens:



(more pics here).

Millennium Galleries:


(more pics here).

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Thursday, April 06, 2006

Quietness

I'm aware I've been really quiet here lately. I'm in a fairly dark pit of depression, and am mostly hiding. I don't really want to fill hippie blog with the moaning ramblings of a, well, moaning rambler, so I've mainly been staying away. Also, coming online would involve doing things other than curling into a ball or going to bed, so hasn't been top of my list.

Moan, moan, moan.

I hope to be functioning again soon - and not, I admit, purely so that I can blog profusely again. It is mainly because feeling better would really be rather nice. But blogging profusely is an appealing part of the whole plan.

Hope to be back properly very soon.

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Tuesday, March 28, 2006

National Inquiry into Self-Harm report (also from my email)

Apologies for two entries in quick succession, but have just this second received the following email too.

I will read the report and come back with what I make of it. This may take some time, as my brain is currently made out of stew.
Truth Hurts - the Report of the National Inquiry into Self-harm among Young People

Self-harm among young people is a significant and growing public health challenge. Despite this, there is almost universal misunderstanding about self-harm even amongst those in closest contact with young people. In response to this, the Camelot Foundation and the Mental Health Foundation launched the National Inquiry into Self-harm among Young People in 2004. The Inquiry Panel has been meeting for two years, hearing evidence from a wide range of interested parties, but most significantly it listened to the voices of young people who have experience of self-harm. Their contributions have been vital to this work.

Truth Hurts sets out an agenda for change, making recommendations about what needs to be done in order to fully understand the prevalence of self-harm; the importance of commissioning services where young people feel listened to and respected; gathering evidence of what works in preventing self-harm and intervening once the behaviour is underway; and building a better understanding of why young people self-harm. Ultimately the aim must be that those closest to young people who self-harm are better equipped to hear their disclosures without panic, revulsion or condemnation.

It is our intention that the report will serve as a turning point in understanding self-harm and be a launch pad for changes in the prevention of, and response to, self-harm among young people throughout the UK. We hope the report is interesting and useful to you. Copies of the report can also be downloaded at www.selfharmuk.org.

As part of the ongoing work of the National Inquiry, there will be two major UK conferences in London on 6 July and Scotland in September 2006. If you would like to receive information about these events, please call us on 0207 8031161 or email gmcewan@mhf.org.uk


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Stop Detaining Children Now! (from my email)

No Place for a Child:

Dear Charles Clarke,

I call on you to stop locking up more than 2,000 babies and children in immigration detention centres every year.

The Home Office currently allows children to be held for long periods of time in immigration detention - children have been held from seven up to 268 days according to evidence gathered by members of the No Place for a Child coalition.

Detaining children is wrong - regardless of the merits of a family's asylum case - and has a damaging effect on their education, health and well-being. It is also contrary to international human rights standards and serious concerns about the detention of children have already been raised by all four Children's Commissioners, Her Majesty's Inspector of Prisons and the European Commissioner for Human Rights.
[...]





Last year the UK government locked up over 2000 children - not for committing any crime, but simply for bureaucratic convenience as a part of the asylum process. The decision is taken by an immigration official and without any judicial intervention.

These children aren't told how long they will be detained - it could be weeks or even many months. One third are detained for at least seven days.

Detention is traumatic for any child they feel they are being punished and they don't know why. Many of them have come to the UK to escape terror from state officials in their own country. There's plenty of evidence that the effects of detention are extremely damaging.

The Refugee Council has joined with Save The Children and Bail for Immigration Detainees to fight to stop children being detained. As we launch the campaign today, we need you to take 2 simple and quick steps now - log onto our special campaign website: noplaceforachild.org.uk

Our message to the Government is simple: it's wrong to lock up children. As the campaign develops, we will be talking to them about better ways to manage families going through the asylum process - but right now they need to hear loud and clear from you that it's time to stop detaining children.


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Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Trial and Error.

Whoever it was who found hippie blog by clicking on the Number One search result for how to subtly offend a hippie has probably worked out how to do it now. I'm not feeling very sense of humour-ful today for some reason.

Anyway... this story is incredibly scary. I heard on the news last night that 6 men were seriously ill in hospital after taking part in a trial of a new anti-inflammatory drug. Shit, I thought, If six of them are in hospital that suggests it's not an obscure allergic reaction. Then later I heard that there were only 8 people in the trial. Shit, I thought, if 6 out of the 8 people who were in the trial were so ill (like, multiple organ failure, intensive care type of ill) then something has gone really wrong. Then, later still, I heard that 2 of the 8 men in the trial had had placebos (and were fine...).

So basically, the only 6 men to have taken this trial drug have become really ill.
The young men were being paid to take part in the early stages of a trial for the drug TGN1412 which is designed to treat conditions such as rheumatoid arthritis and leukaemia.

But within hours of taking it on Monday, six volunteers had to be admitted to intensive care - a further two had been given a placebo.

Northwick Park Hospital's intensive care director Ganesh Suntharalingam said two were in a critical condition, and the other four were serious but showing some signs of improvement.

He added his team had been doing everything possible in this "unique set of circumstances".

"The drug, which is untested and therefore unused by doctors, has caused an inflammatory response which affects some organs of the body," he said.

Ms Marshall, 35, whose boyfriend is critically ill, said the normally healthy 28-year-old barman's face was so puffed, he "looks like the Elephant Man".

She said: "His friends cannot even face seeing him. I have to stay there because I'm looking beyond all the wires and the puffiness.

"This is not leukaemia, this is not pneumonia, this is not something they know how to deal with."
(Read more...)

When I was at Uni, several of my friends regularly took part of medical trials and testings to get a £few, and while people knew it was a bit risky, it was generally thought that by the time anyone actually swallows anything, it would be as safe as it can be. Makes you wonder, and clearly others are concerned, too.

Something has gone horribly wrong in this London trial yesterday. I don't think we know yet whether this was a horrendous accident that noone could have predicted, or whether there has been a big mistake made somewhere. I guess time will tell, and am hoping they all are ok soon.

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Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Shaddapayaface!

Having not heard it for probably twenty years, in the last few days I have heard it twice. I hope to hear it again, as I adored it as a (very little) child. It was apparently by Joe Dolce, and it went something like this:
What'sa matta you, hey!
Gotta no respect, whatta you think you do,
Why you looka so sad? It's-a not so bad, it's-a nice-a place,
Ah, shaddap you face!

Why is it funny? Why does it make me laugh? I have no idea. It has been Australia's highest selling single for 25 years.

Not only can you hear it again, you can even watch a video of him singing it. Go awwn, you know you want to! Full lyrics here.

Ahhh, I love the internet!


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Monday, March 06, 2006

Time for More Health Awareness.

This week is Endometriosis Awareness Week. A group of women have held a communal screaming event (oh yes!) outside Parliament, to give people an idea of the pain caused to so many women by endometriosis.
WOMEN SCREAM FOR HELP IN DISEASE FIGHT
By Ben Pindar, Community Newswire
HEALTH Scream London, 06 Mar 2006 - 08:39

A group of women were today gathering outside Parliament to scream for better funding and increased awareness about an incurable crippling disease affecting two million women across the UK.

The communal scream has been organised by the National Endometriosis Society and following the event the women will march on Downing Street to hand over a 12,000-signature petition to Tony Blair.

Organisers are staging the event to mark the launch of Endometriosis Awareness Week and the publication of a major new study which shows women with the condition face misdiagnosis, ignorance and misunderstanding.

Endometriosis is a condition where cells like the ones in the lining of the womb are found outside it which can create painful inflammation, adhesions and cysts.

A total of 89% of British sufferers experience pain throughout their monthly cycle with the average pain lasting 14 days a month. Of those in employment with the condition, 80% lose an average 5.7 days a month.

The new poll being published today reveals women have to wait an average of 11 years to get a correct diagnosis after the initial onset of pain.

Leading artist Adelaide Damoah was leading the demonstration outside the Houses of Commons today and everybody was screaming in unison to represent the almost continual pain some women endure as part of their daily lives.

The National Endometriosis Society wants increased funding for research into the disease and also wants the Government to help raise awareness about the suffering the condition can cause.

Robert Music, chief executive of the National Endometriosis Society, said: "The communal scream event is indicative of the pain each of these women has to endure but also demonstrates their frustration at a lack of funding and action from the Government.

"Their needs to be a lot more research into this condition and the impact it has peoples lives but this can only be achieved if the Government increases current funding levels.

"The funding received by researchers investigating this disease is very small but it is obviously incredibly important that more is done.

"Awareness of the condition also needs to be dramatically increased as a lot of symptoms go unnoticed.

"We need a three year awareness campaign at the very least so we can reach all women and ensure everything is being done to beat this condition."

At present there is no cure for endometriosis, with most patients treated through medication. For many, a range of alternative and complementary therapies have also delivered some degree of success in alleviating symptoms and pain.

Women with endometriosis or those wanting more information about the disease can contact the National Endometriosis Society via the helpline on 0808 808 2227 or through the website at endo.org.uk


Two years ago, for National Endometriosis Awareness Day, I wrote the following.
National Endometriosis Awareness Day
The National Endometriosis Society tell me that today is National Endometriosis Awareness Day which I had not known. Unfortunately I have been super-aware of this disease the last few days because of the agony and misery it has been bringing me.

Every Part of My Body Hurt is not only a very apt description of the disease, but also a challenging article about one woman's experiences of endometriosis, diagnosis, treatment, and not recovering, but taking control of her treatment options.
(Read more...)



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Thursday, March 02, 2006

Stop Selling Women's Bodies.

It is estimated that the number of women being trafficked into Germany to be used as prostitutes will increase massively in the run-up to the World Cup there in June. This is an appalling indictment of a European country's treatment of women - indicated, however, by the fact that brothels are legal there. Legitimising sexual exploitation of women and girls in this way suggests already a poor view of, and abusive treatment of women.

With the expected influx of mainly male football supporters, it looks likely that there will be an increase in 'demand' which can only be met through trafficking women from other countries. This trade in, and selling of women's bodies must be stopped, and the European Women's Lobby have set up a petition you can sign.

The text of the petition is:

800,000 people are trafficked across borders every year

90% are women and girls.

The majority are sexually exploited.

Dear President Barroso,

Thousands of women and girls will be trafficked into Germany for prostitution during the World Cup.

I urge you as President of the European Commission to take action, in cooperation with EU countries, to stop this crime.


Celebrate the World Cup.

Fight sexual slavery.

And you can sign it here. Please do so!

Prostitution during World Cup is a whole new ball game.
From Melanie Haape in Berlin

GERMAN cities are building mobile brothels and installing huge numbers of condom dispensers in the run-up to an expected boom in the sex business during the upcoming World Cup.

It’s thought up to 40,000 prostitutes will be brought into the country to augment the thousands already at work to service the needs of some of the estimated seven million chiefly male fans as they pour into the country from June 9.

Meanwhile, women’s activist groups have seized the occasion to highlight the problem of human trafficking and forced prostitution, especially of girls from eastern and central Europe.

Justice officials hotly dispute the 40,000 figure, however. Munich central police’s Andreas Ruch reckons it’s “been plucked from the air”.

“We know from the Oktoberfest, which has six million visitors, that the number of prostitutes increases, but we honestly don’t expect a mass invasion.”

Germany legalised prostitution in 2002, and the Bavarian capital has 500 registered sex workers. Ruch estimates that there are an extra 200 illegally plying their trade. “We expect the number to perhaps double during the World Cup, and while we do see the number of those coming from eastern Europe growing, this is a general tendency in many professions,” he said.

Berlin, which has up to 8000 registered prostitutes, is gearing up for strict controls during the tournament, said criminal department spokeswoman Kerstin Menzel.

“During big sports events in the past, we haven’t seen a major upsurge in prostitution-related criminality, but we are definitely putting in stronger controls in certain areas of the city which we know are troublesome. We’re also working with non-government organisations,” she said, adding that she couldn’t imagine that as many as 40,000 extra prostitutes would flood the city.

Nevertheless, to augment the city’s existing array of bordellos, three train stops from the main Berlin stadium a new structure covering 3000 square metres is being built to accommodate 640 customers at a time. Cologne has also built provisional brothels, and Dortmund plans to follow suit.

Hamburg’s famous Reeperbahn red-light district, meanwhile, hopes to use the World Cup to polish up its tatty image with its campaign “fairness in sex”. Brothels are co-operating in a plan to reduce complaints against dishonest money-grabbing practices on the part of the prostitutes.

There is no central strategy to control the problem of girls being smuggled into the country, or brought in under false pretences and then forced to offer sex-related services. Instead, each of the 16 states (Länder) is responsible for its own law enforcement. This is not enough for the Deutscher Frauenrat, the national women’s council which represents more than 50 women’s organisations nationwide.

A spokeswoman said: “After seeking role models and support for our campaign among the entire German football team, so far we have managed to get support only from Jens Lehmann who is also goalkeeper for the English club Arsenal. Others like Oliver Kahn have stayed silent, so we’re not only disappointed but really angry.” The council’s pleas to the football stars stated that as an example for many men, the stars’ word sometimes counts more than that of politicians.

“Therefore we ask you to state publicly that ‘real’ men are against human trafficking and forced prostitution,” wrote council head Henny Engels.

The EU has the issue on the agenda for its plenary session starting on March 13, said Anna Wittenberg, assistant to European Parliament member Lissy Gröner, also on the Women’s Committee in the EU. Wittenberg added that Germany’s state heads and police are now being pushed to improve controls on visa issuing, for example.

The European parliament reckons that almost 90% of the 500,000 people smuggled illegally into the EU are trapped into sexual exploitation. Hungarian translator Nico Anastasio, who has assisted in a number of trafficking cases , said: “The problem is that they seldom report their abuse as they are usually here illegally .”

26 February 2006



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Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Self-Injury Awareness Day

Today, as every 1st March, is Self-Injury Awareness Day (SIAD). That makes two entries about self-harm this week, which was entirely unintentional - I have only just remembered it is SIAD, and I remembered it with an out loud 'DAMN' because I and others are always planning to organise some kind of media awareness campaign, and always, *always* forget the day is approaching.

As we did, it seems, this year!

So, please be aware of self-harm. Many many people do it, for many many reasons. I wrote an awful lot about it here, if you want to know more, and I wrote very recently about it here on hippie blog, more specifically in terms of receiving medical treatment in the context of being someone who self-injures.

There are also millions of websites on the subject from all over the world. You'd be amazed how many people do, or have done something on the spectrum of self-injury at some point, and how many do so repeatedly.

It's not all about slashing yourself open - it can be about getting so drunk you become ill, or depriving yourself of sleep, or punching a wall when you're angry, or not caring to check when you are about to cross a road.

It is an important thing to be aware of - in yourself, your friends and family, and in the world. Not only self-harm as an issue, but the things in the world around us that can lead someone to do what can initially appear to be an entirely counter-productive thing. There's a long, long way to go before we have made the world we live in a nice place to be for everyone, before we have made it a place where the people who live in it have no reason to want to hurt themselves at all.

Self-Injury Awareness Day, 1st March 2006.

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Tuesday, February 28, 2006

I am gutted :-(

Linda Smith has died. She was truly one of the funniest people ever. When she was on News Quiz you just knew it would be a great show. I listen and laugh again and again to her singing Psycho Killer to the tune of Save my Love on Clue. She had streaks of comedy genius and I am so, so desperately sad that she has died.

She apparently had ovarian cancer which was diagnosed 3.5 years ago. It was never 'announced', though friends knew about it. Jeremy Hardy was on PM earlier, talking about Linda and he sounded devastated. Friends and online people I have told about Linda's death are all stunned, as am I.

She had an amazing talent for being funny, one which could truly actually cheer me up from dreadful states. She was clever, witty, quick, intelligent, friendly and just amazing.

Rest in Peace, Linda.

Radio comedian Linda Smith dies.
Comic Linda Smith, a regular panellist on BBC Radio 4's The News Quiz, has died of cancer at the age of 48.

The writer and broadcaster was a staple of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival and BBC Radio, whose listeners voted her "Wittiest Person" in 2002.

She made frequent appearances on Just A Minute and I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue, as well as the TV shows Have I Got News For You, Room 101 and Mock the Week.

Radio 4 controller Mark Damazer said her passing was "a terrible loss".


"Linda was a Radio 4 giant," he added. "She generated an energy and warmth in every programme she ever did that made her fellow comedians and millions of listeners love her."

News Quiz regular Jeremy Hardy paid an emotional tribute, calling her "the wittiest and brightest person working on TV or radio panel games".

Linda Smith with Ian Hislop
Her many TV credits include Have I Got News For You
"It was impossible to be in her company for more than a few minutes without laughing," he continued.

"Even when she was very ill, she had her friends laughing and feeling uplifted despite our sadness.

"I am so lucky to have had such a wonderful friend."

Ms Smith, who is survived by her partner Warren Lakin, had been ill for some time and died on Monday.

A special tribute edition of the News Quiz will be broadcast on Friday at 1830 GMT, presented by her fellow panellist Andy Hamilton.



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Saturday, February 25, 2006

Self-Harm and Medical Treatment

The National Institute for Clinical Excellence (NICE), in 2004 issued some guidelines on
The short-term physical and psychological management and secondary prevention of self-harm in primary and secondary care

These include instructions such as,
People who have self-harmed should be treated with the
same care, respect and privacy as any patient. In addition,
healthcare professionals should take full account of the
likely distress associated with self-harm.
[...]

If a person who has self-harmed has to wait for treatment,
he or she should be offered an environment that is safe,
supportive and minimises any distress. For many patients,
this may be a separate, quiet room with supervision and
regular contact with a named member of staff to ensure
safety.
[...]

Always treat people with care and respect.
[...]

Take full account of the likely distress associated with
self-harm.

Offer the choice of male or female staff for assessment and
treatment. If it is not possible to give people a choice, explain
why and write it in their notes.

Always ask the service user to explain in their own words why
they have self-harmed. Remember, when people
self-harm often, the reason for each act may be different on
each occasion; don’t assume it’s done for the same reasons.

Involve the service user in clinical decision-making and provide
information about treatment options.
[...]

Always offer necessary physical treatments even if the person
doesn’t want psychosocial or psychiatric assessment.

Always use proper anaesthesia and/or analgesia if treatment
for self-injury is painful.

Offer sedation if treatment may evoke distressing memories
of previous sexual abuse, such as when repairing harm to the
genital area.
[...]
• Don’t delay treatment because it is self-inflicted.

There is an awful lot of info in the report, but some of the pertinent points I have listed above.

I have heard endless stories of people in A&E being refused stitches to a self-injury cut, on the basis that 'You've got so many scars already, one more won't make a difference', or 'There's no point - you'll only do it again'. Similarly with people who have been refused anaesthetic before being stitched or having other painful treatments.

These situations appall me. People who have caused their own injuries deserve just as good (physical and psychological) care as those whose injuries were accidental or caused by others. People do not self-harm for no reason - it almost always occurs within a context of intense distress and desperation, and can frequently prevent the person from further harm (for example, suicide attempts) by releasing some of the pressure before it boils over.

People who need treatment for self-harm injuries are likely to be feeling dreadful, full of their own inner guilt for needing treatment, and very possibly feeling quite vulnerable. They do not need doctors or nurses or ambulance staff to reinforce their own feelings of self-hatred or to imply that they are wasting people's time.

I cannot talk for everyone who self-harms, and I also do not want to downplay the incredible sensitive and appropriate treatment offered by many medical staff. There are people who self-harm who won't relate at all to what I say, and there are doctors, nurses and ambulance staff who do brilliant work. There's no doubt about that.

However some people are treated appallingly, and this only leads to the person who has self-harmed to feel even worse about themselves, and further self-harm feels more appealing because they have had all their worst fears and feelings confirmed.

So, where am I going with this?

Well, there are cases of blatantly bad treatment (being refused stitches when they are needed, not using local anaesthetic where it normally would be used, derogatory comments by staff etc.), and these are easy to criticise. But there are also many, many occasions when someone who has self-harmed gets bad-mediocre treatment, but it is hard to know what the motivation behind the not-really-caring is.

I needed treatment the last couple of weeks for a burn. I went to a GP, who asked the Practice Nurse to dress it. The nurse's treatment was, well, lukewarm to say the least. She dressed the burn very badly - using inadequate dressings and suggested no follow-up at all. I needed to go back 2 days later because of the state of the dressing and the injury and although she dressed the injury better than the first time, it was still very careless, unnecessarily painful and there was no plan for follow-up again.

I came out of both of these encounters very upset, especially the second one. I was spinning between 'I deserve better treatment than this' and 'Why on earth should I expect decent treatment? It's my own stupid fault anyway'. On top of that, I really didn't know whether the nurse didn't treat me well because my injury was self-inflicted, or whether she was actually just quite incompetent and not very interested in general.

I still don't know the answer to that, but the following week I saw a different nurse at the practice, who dealt with my injury competently, and was actually nice to me. It made a huge difference to how I felt when I left the surgery. I didn't feel full of self-hatred, full of self-loathing, full of self-directed anger.

I have that age-old double standard. I believe, without a doubt, that people who have self-harmed deserve and require treatment which is as good as people who have injuries which were accidental or caused by someone else. However, when it's *me*, I of course don't deserve a single nice word or a dressing which actually deals adequately with the wound. I am stupid and a waste of time, though noone else is!

I really don't know if I got sub-standard treatment because the nurse wasn't up to speed on burn dressings, or on 'bedside' manner, or whether it was because she didn't want to deal with a self-inflicted injury, or didn't think it deserved time and treatment, or indeed deal with someone who could self-injure.

All I know is that I came out of the appointment with the second nurse feeling much more positive and capable and listened to. I'm no expert on dressings, but even I knew that the first two were inadequate. I came out of those appointments feeling disgusting and loathsome.

I do believe that in terms of avoiding future self-harm, feeling positive and capable and listened to is certainly a better place to start!


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Hyacinths


This year I have grown hyacinths from bulbs. This is one of them. You can smell them all round the house and they are beautiful and amazing!

Am mainly quite stunned that I was capable of aiding the creation and blooming of such magical flowers.

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Sunday, February 19, 2006

The Ultimate Body Fascism?

I dreamt that myself and two other women - one of whom looked like Fiz off Coronation Street, the other who kind of resembled Katie Holmes - were setting up The Ultimate Diet website.

The gist was that the three of us followed a general low-fat diet, and then that readers of the site all sent in their diet tips. Each of us would follow one tip faithfully for a week, and then we could assess the tip by the weight loss / gain at the end of the week. Through doing this over a long period of time, we would develop the unfailing, indisputable Ultimate Diet.

I dread to think what exactly in the depths of my brain surfaced to concoct that particular sequence, but though it was a perfect idea in the dream, I have been worrying about the millions of possible stumbling blocks ever since waking. Not least people sending in tips like, Eat horse tails daily or stand on your head for two hours a day or even do Atkins!. *SHuDDeR*.

I don't know why I'm worrying about the consequences of being part of this site, given that, well, I'm not! It doesn't exist, and neither do the two other women I dreamt up. But it is disturbing me in that way that only a fucked-up dream can.

So instead, I say Women, enjoy your body, enjoy your weight, enjoy your food. Move, eat, taste, love. Fuck diets.



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Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Illustration Friday: Simple.


Illustration Friday.

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Missing Dad...

My Dad should have turned 60 today. The pain of that knowledge is almost unbearable.

We should have been celebrating, I should have made him a card, I should have chosen a present, I should be calling this evening to wish him a Happy Birthday, he should be finally allowed to retire.

It feels dreadful, I've already had several uncontrollable crying fits and my whole body and mind ache for my loss of him, and his loss of life.


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Sunday, February 12, 2006

Vicious Videos, Stop the War.

Video footage has been released, showing British troops battering four young Iraqi men. It is really awful, as is the glee in the voice of the man who filmed the attacks.

Tony Blair has said,
"we take seriously any allegations of mistreatment, and those will be investigated very fully indeed."

He also said that the "overwhelming majority" of British troops stationed in Iraq behave properly, doing "a great job for our country and the wider world."

But what does that mean? When we train people to kill and maim other people, to aim bombs and guns at the Other (colour, race, religion, sex...), how can we ever be surprised when things like this happen?

Why is it ok for these soldiers to point a gun and shoot on one occasion, and not ok for them to to kick on another? Why is it ok for them to drop a bomb on a house, and not ok for them to film it and laugh?

The government needs to see that when you have an army following their orders and attacking a country, you can't then have any kind of moral superiority when events like this happen.

What these soldiers did on this video was appalling, absolutely reprehensible. But what right has Tony Blair to criticise them when he's sanctioned and ordered that they commit mass, mass murder in the same country, against the same people?

Riverbend gives a harrowing report of a raid she experienced in Baghdad a few days ago, in her relatives' house. It is terrifying, and an example of the government-approved army actions.

When you train men to kill, they may well kill. When you train them to be vicious, they may well be vicious. You can't draw some kind of imaginary line in the sand, separating the OK killings and the NOT-OK killings, or the OK acts of vicious violence and the NOT-OK acts of vicious violence.

Stop the war now!

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Saturday, February 11, 2006

Lately, I am mostly:


    Crying about:
  • Missing my Dad

  • The state of the world

  • Being in pain





    Getting pissed off at:
  • Violence every-bloody-where

  • Men running the world

  • Depression ruining things as usual

  • My new doctor being an idiot


    Bored of:
  • Being depressed

  • Weekends

  • Weekdays



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Sunday, February 05, 2006

Chilli Challenge...

Yesterday I planted 6 strawberry seedlings. This afternoon I have planted chilli, coriander, and various herb seeds, to germinate.

I am very excited - and also scared in case they all die. I have kept a houseplant alive for well over a year now (a personal record!) and not only is it still alive, it is about 10 times its original size (no exaggeration!) so I thought it was time to attempt to brave some foody plants.

If, in 6 or so months, I can eat one of my own home-grown strawberries, it will make me immensely happy! If I kill all the plants I will have lessons to learn.

I already know that I need to earn the lesson of 'balance' - like, do things gradually. Six seedlings and many types of seeds in one weekend could probably have been better done over a period of weeks. But no, the all-or-nothing parts of me are still fairly prevalent, though I'm better than I used to be.



You must see Top Ten Reasons Americans like their Cars so Big chez alas. You really, really must.


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Saturday, February 04, 2006

Book Fairy, Artist Trading Card.


100_0949
Originally uploaded by incurable_hippie.
An ATC, made for the Book Fairy who sent me four amazing books yesterday.
(More of my ATCs here).

A night of insomnia meant I completed it, and learned to quill, too. It also means I feel rough, can't go to the Incapacity Benefit protest, and am in a vague daze of blurriness. Ah well.

Unfortunately for her, Z has been having similar lack-of-sleep issues. There must be something in the water.

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Sunday, January 29, 2006

Word Beads: Variety; Doze; Technical; Polar; Fossil.

The fossil-hunters arrived with their array of detector machines, identification manuals and technical information. The news of the recent find had clearly spread quickly amongst this strange community.

The scurrying calmed and soon these men worked individually, systematically, examining the variety of rocks, stones, shells, driftwood in the area.

Some talked quietly of a recent polar expedition, while one had brought a dog which, clearly used to this dull inactivity with its owner, dozed calmly in the dawning sun.


Word Beads.

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Thursday, January 26, 2006

Demise of Radio 4 UK Theme. Disaster or Damn Good Idea?

As a chronic insomniac I know the routine well. At 1am, after Sailing By, the Shipping Forecast and the national anthem, BBC Radio 4 closes for the night and changes into BBC World Service for four and a half hours. Then at 5.30am, Radio Four re-opens, with the UK Theme - a medley of folk songs from the four regions of Britain - and goes on to start the day.

While I have slight nostalgic attachments, occasionally, to the aforementioned UK theme, it usually fills me with horror. It either serves to just rub in the fact that it's 5.30am and I'm still not asleep, or it means that any early morning waking (typical in depression, apparently) is particularly bad.

Either way, if I hear the UK Theme it means I've not slept, or I've slept really, really badly.

And to add insult to injury, the piccolo solo within the theme is really out of tune which, as someone who used to be a reasonably good flautist, is irritating and annoying.

So when, earlier this week, I woke before the theme, heard it, heard Farming Today, and was listening to the Today programme, and the screen on my digital radio told me that at 8.20am the controller of Radio 4 was going to be interviewed about his decision to scrap the UK Theme, I was quite excited.

Revenge on the evil waker-upper and symbol of appalling sleep! Ha! (Surely if the theme is abolished, so will insomnia be...?)

So, sure enough I was still awake at 8.20am. Beginning the discussion with an interview with the widow of Fritz Spiegl, the composer of the theme, was certainly an emotive start, but the interview which followed explained that the theme was 33 years old, somewhat dated, and because it lasts over 5 minutes, they thought that that time could be much better spent with news, and a look forward to what was happening that day.

I do admit a certain sad nostalgia by this point, at the prospect of the 5.30 herald being spoken word rather than duuuh duh duh duh duh daa, but overall my joy at the very living symbol of sleep deprivation being abolished overrode any vague sadness.

So, imagine my surprise when a friend sent me a link to savetheradio4theme.co.uk. They have a petition, apparently signed by over 6000 people. The theme's demise was even brought up in Parliament yesterday!

Now, I am an avid Radio 4 listener. Anyone who knows radio 4 knows that this is a kind of identity thing in many ways. But I also am glad that April will be the last time I should hear that herald of dawn and misery. I can love the station, but hate the theme.

And the fact that many of those who are campaigning to keep the theme, are doing so on the basis of Gordon Brown's splurging about patriotism and nationalism being marvellous, just makes me even more shaky.

So, I love radio 4, I resist most change there, but let the UK theme go. Let me have future insomnia nights without hearing an out of tune drunken sailor, or sickly Danny Boy, or any of the other pieces that make up the almost-6-minutes of let's rub in how badly she's slept. Please!

However, scrapping Home Truths too... now that's another matter.

9.38am - Edited to add: You can hear the Radio 4 UK Theme online, by clicking here. That bloody piccolo!

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Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Information Release: Sheffield Welfare Action Network.

NB I am publishing this essentially as I received it, to publicise the protest. I will write my own post on the Disability Benefits attacks as soon as possible.

Sheffield/Nation Wide Protest against the Incapacity Benefit Proposals.

Saturday 4 February, 1.00pm

Town Hall, Sheffield


Bring homemade placards, etc

there wll be speakers and some music, etc...

And

Call for simultaneous peaceful protests across the UK,

The Gov’t has finally announced what its plans are for
incapacity benefit and claimants and in SWAN’s view,
it is very very draconian and unpleasant. The changes
are the biggest in welfare for over sixty years(see
below), we are calling on all decent and caring
people, claimants, campaigners, activists, faith
groups, churches, individuals to support our call and
peacefully protest in your locality


It’s going to get even tougher

There is to be an even tougher and brutal regime for
most on incapacity benefit (IB) (it is extremely
difficult to claim IB now.) Benefits will be cut by
over 25.00 and will only rise when a claimant looks
for work, there will be even more stringent medical
assessments and tougher requirements to seek work or
lose benefit. Employment advisers will be placed in
G.P’s surgeries to ‘spy’ on the sick. Swan is already
hearing from a number of disabled people who are
terrified of these changes, they are saying that the
‘disability benefits‘regime is almost unbearable now’,
and how can it be worse!

>From the Guardian

‘'New claimants will face a tougher entry route and
more demanding tests on the benefit, renamed the
employment and support allowance.

Responses to the reforms

Already reactions are coming in: Macmillan Cancer
Relief feared "workfare-style compulsion" for sick and
disabled people, saying ‘it had already had to
intervene to stop chemotherapy patients and those with
a terminal diagnosis being called to work interviews’.
Of course, people should have help when and if they
are ready to go back to work, but what about the
Employer, are they ready for this? SWAN will also ask
why are the reforms ‘target led’ with the aim of
getting one million back into work? If the reforms are
so good , why does there have to be sanctions and
co-ercion? This approach will mean many many thousands
of the most vulnerable in our society who simply
cannot work will face such co-ercion and harrassment.
Further, where are all these jobs going to come from?
unemployment is now rising and employers themselves
admit they discriminate against people with
disabilities. The figures the Govt gives are
disengenous as well, fraud in IB is neglible (around
2% according to the DWP) and a large number of people
who could claim (for example those with terminal
illness) do not even know they are eligible! Having
work advisers in G.P surgeries will put added pressure
on sick people and one can argue it will compromise
the GP/patients relationship and is an infringement of
civil liberties.

SWAN will campaign vigorously against these reforms
and calls on all allies, friends, etc to do the same.
Finally, those who would call diasabled people:
scroungers, ‘leadswingers, etc, realise that 'these
people' are not others, different, from outer
space,they are us and one day, certainly as you age,
it could be you.

Resources:

excellent balanced summary of the changes here.

Disability Alliance, challenging the myths.

Sheffield Welfare Action Network.

swansheffield@yahoo.co.uk.



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I'm working on it...

I want to write about the scary Incapacity Benefit proposals. I want to write a review of Life Stripped Bare: My Year Trying To Live Ethically by a Guardian journalist, Leo Hickman. I want to write about the cool day with Z on our 2nd Anniversary. I want to write about the evils of excess packaging (having received 3 items of post this morning in plastic-wrapped bags). I want want want.

Watch this space. You never know.


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Friday, January 20, 2006

Save the Whale(s)!

There is a whale in central London. I thought it was a cute story until one report said they thought the whale had swum there, to shallow waters, to die. I was surprised at how inconscienably sad that made me :-(.

Northern Bottlenose Whale.

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Tuesday, January 17, 2006

From My Email.

From Friends of the Earth:
With spring on the way, now is the time to start thinking about whether to buy new plants for your garden or balcony. Investigate the Postcode Plants Database to find out which plants are local to your area before you make any purchases. These will encourage local wildlife, and will be better suited to local conditions, so will need less maintenance than exotic species. Visit http://www.nhm.ac.uk/nature-online/life/plants-fungi/postcode-plants/



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Sunday, January 15, 2006

Registering the Damage.

So what on earth is going on with this Ruth Kelly / sex offenders register(s) / teachers stuff?

What I have learned is:

  1. There is a register, separate from the Sex Offenders Register, known as List 99, which contains a list of people who must never work with children.

  2. One man has been working in a school, despite being on the Sex Offenders Register, having been cautioned for looking at child pornography.

  3. A 'caution' means he admitted to doing it.

  4. Another man who has been convicted of sex with a minor, got a job in a school.

  5. There has even been a case where someone who is on (the aforementioned) List 99, who has been approved, (seemingly) personally by Ruth Kelly, to work in a school nonetheless.

  6. A man who has convictions for abusing young boys, has been allowed to work in an all-girls' school.

  7. The whole world has gone mad
  8. .


So, being on the Sex Offenders Register does not automatically preclude someone from working in a school, but being on List 99 does.

Except that it doesn't, clearly. It only stops you if you don't get personal approval from the Education Minister to work with children despite history of convictions or abuse. And it seems she is reasonably willing to do that - two cases I have heard about, at least.

Now, I am not naive enough to be under any illusion that if people who have convictions of sexually abusing children are not allowed to work in schools, then all children are safe.

Firstly, you don't need to have a conviction to abuse children, or to be a danger to them.

Secondly, child sex abusers are often drawn to professions which will bring them into contact with children, so schools are probably a fairly high risk place to be in those terms.

And thirdly, the vast majority of abuse happens within the home. Kids are at risk from their parents, relatives, friends, babysitters etc., in the very place they live.

However doesn't it seem, well, sensible to actively stop people who have either been convicted of, or have admitted to offences of sexual abuse against children from working in a school?

Well, yes it does.

On a side note, hippie blog seems to be the number one search result for what programmes will there be on the telly on friday nights in march. Should anyone else manage to find me through those search terms, I can safely say, I have no idea. Gah!


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Friday, January 13, 2006

The world is a scary place.

Firstly, someone is making jewellery out of Barbie body parts. They are very scary.

Secondly, 1990 was 16 years ago. Sixteen years ago. That is very scary.

Thirdly, clowns. Nuff said.

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Thursday, January 12, 2006

Directions.

1. Start at London Heathrow.
2. Negotiate queues and bag checks.
3. Catch flight from London Heathrow to Dallas Fort
Worth Airport.
4. Hire car at Dallas Fort Worth Airport.
5. Start going toward the "Airport Exit" on
"International Parkway South" - follow for 0.2 miles.
6. Bear left onto the highway toward "Terminal East
Parking" – follow for 0.3 miles
7. Bear left onto "International Parkway North" toward
"North Airport Exit" - follow for 2.9 miles
8. Take the "Highway 114 west" exit toward "Fort Worth"
- follow for 29.2 miles
9. Then continue on "US 287 north" - follow for 91.1
miles
10. "US 287 north" becomes "Interstate-44 east" -
follow for 0.7 miles
11. Take left fork onto "US-287 north" toward "Vernon"
- follow for 104.0 miles
12. "US 287 north" becomes "Avenue F (US-287)" - follow
for 2.8 miles
13. Continue to follow "US 287 north" - follow for
104.9 miles
14. Take left ramp onto "Interstate 40 west" toward
"Dumas" follow for 7.8 miles
15. Take "Exit 70" onto "US 60 east" toward "Dumas"
follow for 0.5 miles
16. Take the "Buchanan Street" exit toward
"Dumas/Pampa" - follow for 1.7 miles
17. Turn right onto "Old Route 66 (Interstate 40)" -
follow for 0.1miles
18. Arrive at the centre of "Amarillo, Texas"

Now that's the way to fucking Amarillo.
SO CAN EVERYONE STOP SINGING IT NOW?!


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Monday, January 09, 2006

Psycho-babble or Psychic Healing?

Today's Guardian has an interesting article on therapy. It conveys well the ambivalence that many people have about whether it is the feel-good cure-all as promised by many, or a complete con which will £cost you dear and make you feel rather worse.

I have the same dilemmas too, but I am becoming more and more cynical. I have seen too many people go into therapy because they are struggling with an issue, and end up in years of therapy with a series of therapists, by which time the therapy is all about how much the previous therapists have fucked them up. Therapy breeds therapy?!

I hope that doesn't sound dismissive, because that's how I mean to sound, not at all. It's too, too true, unfortunately.

In the good old days (?!) of first wave feminism, it was said that Feminism's aim is to make itself redundant. I think that way of therapy. I do believe that therapists should be working with clients, with the aim of not seeing them any more, at some point. But so many therapists seem to breed and encourage certain levels of dependence on themselves.

Of course, they are making a living doing this - if someone is paying your mortgage, it's hard to actively try to lose that income - but ethics should be paramount, not secondary to a therapist's finances.

I guess I get mixed up when I think that these people (hopefully) chose this profession due to a desire to help people. In order to continue their work, they require a certain amount of misery to be around. And yet because of their original motivations to get the job, they want to help people feel less miserable. But do they ever question, on one of those days when the month lasts longer than the money, whether they really want to encourage a client to become independent and live without their input?

And that's not to mention those who go into therapy due to a desire to control, not help, or who develop this desire as they work. Abusive and unethical therapists are, it seems, not that hard to find.

I dunno. Sometimes I'm very up on therapy, other times very down. I'm currently cynical and that will come across here. If I wrote about the same article in a few months, who knows what my take would be. It's a complicated issue, and therapy itself is incredibly intense and powerful, provoking strong emotions, both positive and negative.

In the past week, the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) has received about 10,000 inquiries
[...]
The recent publication of Shouldn't I Be Feeling Better by Now?, a collection of people's experiences in analysis, has reignited the 'cure or con' debate. It claims that about one in four clients either deteriorates in treatment or shows no signs of recovery.
Virginia Ironside, one of Britain's best-known agony aunts, revealed that she had spent £54,000 and hundreds of hours on the couch. Her conclusion? Therapy is fraud. 'I became sucked into the destructively seductive world, always hoping I might find understanding and peace through knowing myself better,' she wrote. 'But I can't help feeling angry at being manipulated when I was at my most vulnerable into investing so much money and time in therapists who, truthfully, only made me feel worse.' (More here...).

I have to admit that none of my views will have been helped from the unconscious messages burned into my brain when I spent several hours helping in a mailout advertising a talk by a psychotherapist. You know when you see a word written down a lot and it starts to look weird? I was packing thousands of envelopes telling people about a psycho-the-rapist. Again and again and again. Get Freud going on that one!

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Saturday, January 07, 2006

Cranberries.


100_0934
Originally uploaded by incurable_hippie.
A few days ago I bought some fresh cranberries, as I had never eaten them before.

Yuckkk.

I thought they were so bitter because they were rock hard, so I left them a few days to ripen. They are now soft and really, really bitter.

REALLY bitter.

It's a shame because occasionally, behind the bitterness, I can taste a nice taste, but the eewwwkkk thing overwhelms everything.

On those TV shows where people send in funny home videos, there were often babies sucking a lemon then doing classic facial expressions. I felt very much like one of those babies.

Just goes to show that just because you like the juice of a fruit, does not necessarily mean you will like the fruit itself.

Very pretty, but yuck.

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Friday, January 06, 2006

Alcohol, Coke and Oil.

I'm not a huge fan of the Liberal Democrats, but I'm finding myself sympathetic towards Charles Kennedy.

He admitted to having a 'drink problem', that he has been receiving treatment and hasn't drunk for two months now. There had been increasing calls for him to step down, with unconfirmed rumours of his alcoholism, and then yesterday he made The Statement - his coming out, if you will.

There have been comments about him having made this statement to get the sympathy vote of those who were going to have the power to vote for him, or not, in a leadership election. There are also comments about his having denied being an alcoholic in the past, and thus he has been proven to have lied. There has also been lots of nastiness about whether an alcoholic can possibly run a political party.

Lembit Opik was on the radio a few minutes ago and actually spoke some sense. By which I mean, of course, that he articulated things I had been thinking since CK's statement yesterday ;-).

Firstly, I really don't think he did this for any kind of Sympathy Vote. He sounded pretty wrecked when he was talking, and in the pictures I saw of him on the front pages of today's papers, he looked awful. I think he was simply forced into this admission, with growing threats that if he didn't make the statement, then somebody else would.

It reminded me of all those people (celebs and such) who have had to come out as being lesbian, gay or bisexual because if they didn't, then one of the tabloids would do so for them. Between a rock and a hard place.

Secondly, in terms of his having lied then yes, he lied about his drinking to reporters. Who wouldn't? Not least because one huge characteristic of addictions and addictive behaviour is an incredible ability to disguise what you are doing, in order to be able to continue doing it. Another characteristic of addictions is denial - both being in denial yourself, and denying that there's a problem to other people.

So yes, he lied about his drinking, but that was because he was being asked about it by journalists (who are the last people you would want to make such an admission to), his addictive behaviour required him to deny the problem so it could continue, and because even if he has been seeking help for the problem (and therefore not in denial to himself), that still doesn't mean that he would want all and sundry to know about it.

On the third point, whether an alcoholic can run a political party, all I can think is, 'Well, he has been doing, so clearly yes, an alcoholic can'. I think the thing is that it wasn't Charles Kennedy the alcoholic running the party, but the Charles Kennedy, of whom alcoholism is one feature.

Some people with addictions, illnesses or disabilities are able to function on on incredibly high level. Others cannot function at all. The fact of being an alcoholic in itself should not preclude someone from holding high position (however it really should preclude them from driving or similar).

I understand that in 5 minutes, a number of the Lib Dem shadow cabinet are going to make a statement that they will all resign by Monday if Charles K hasn't resigned himself.

Why? It's getting unnecessarily nasty, as far as I can tell. Charles has proposed a leadership election, in which he will stand. Is that not enough?

Like I say, I'm not a Lib Dem supporter. Nor indeed especially a Charles Kennedy supporter. I just think this whole situation sucks. It makes me very uncomfortable and it's just unpleasant.

Anyhoo, let's move on - it's g0og1ebom8 time!

Coke, Coca-cola - info here.
Also, Exxonmobil, Exxonmobil, Exxonmobil, Exxonmobil. Ha!


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Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Favourite Subversive Material of the Moment!

My current favourite flyer:



My current favourite song, discovered on the second Peace Not War CD, can be heard here.

George Bush is an Islamic Fundamentalist.

George Bush is an Islamic fundamentalist, obviously
Trained by Al Qaeda in the heart of Texas to fight for the faithful army
He's now in the process of uniting the rest of the world against the good old U S of A
The land of the free will come crashing down if he has his way

It's the only explanation, old Bushy boy is an Islamic Fundamentalist
He's three quarters the way through his plan already and no-one's even noticed
That must be a damn-fine Al Qaeda training camp they've got down there in Texas (Yee ha!)
Getting him to pretend he's as thick as pig-shit was a stroke of pure bloody genius

Yeah, George Bush is an Islamic fundamentalist, obviously
Trained by Al Qaeda in the heart of Texas to fight for the faithful army
He's now in the process of uniting the rest of the world against the good old U S of A
The land of the free will come crashing down if he has his way, trust me

He's presided over and has been involved with one of the worst financial disasters of a generation
Every move he makes seems to be directly against the interests of his nation, haven't you noticed?
He's used the media to increase the social insulation of an already fairly bland population, since the McCarthy days
And now he's declared war on Islam just to increase the consternation

As far as I can see there's only one explanation
George Bush is an Islamic fundamentalist, obviously

These days on the street you hear all kind of interesting conspiracy theories cos no-one knows what the fuck's going on, we're all looking for explanations
The most interesting one I heard the other day was that the West was controlled by genuine democracies that actually represent the will of their populations
Only the one about the aliens, the anti-Christ and the Freemasons is more laughable. Ha ha ha ha.

I think my theory is much more plasible, let me tell you about it, it goes like this,
George Bush is an Islamic fundamentalist, obviously
It really is the only explanation I can see
For his truly anti-American foreign policy.

Now, at this point, I would ask you all to sing along with the chorus, normally. If it wasn't for the fact that there are cameras on the premises and the CIA might be requisitioning the tapes at any time. So I recommend that at under all circumstances, catchy though this numbers is, you do not sing along, you do not even smile. I recommend the most you do is tap your feet. But you do that at your own risk.



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