Saturday, May 19, 2007

AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals...

Thanks to Positive Atheism, I can bring you this pile of shite touching homage to the recently deceased Jerry Falwell.

If you're not a born-again Christian, you're a failure as a human being.
-- Rev Jerry Falwell (attributed: source unknown)

This is probably as bad a day as the court has had on social issues since "Roe v Wade."
-- Rev Jerry Falwell, reacting to the Supreme Court's ruling in the Texas sodomy case, "Lawrence v. Texas," wherein the high court upheld an individual's (or a couple's) right to privacy; "It is a promise of the Constitution that there is a realm of personal liberty which the government may not enter," said Justice Anthony M Kennedy, for the majority in an opinion "as broad in its constitutional vision as any ever issued by the court," wrote Charles Lane for The Washington Post; in his dissent, Justice Antonin Scalia, an extremist Evangelical Christian, complained that the justices voting to uphold the right to privacy were creating a new constitutional right, that they were not upholding the Constitution, quoted from "Planned Parenthood Federal Action Report" (July, 2003) ††

I had a student ask me, "Could the savior you believe in save Osama bin Laden?" Of course, we know the blood of Jesus Christ can save him, and then he must be executed.
-- Rev Jerry Falwell, cited in Cary McMullen, "Falwell: Now Is the Time for Gospel," in the Lakeland (Florida) Ledger (November 12, 2001), quoted from Randy Cassingham, This is True (18 November 2001). Falwell added: "We visit prisoners on death row, and some of them are saved, but we believe their sentences should be carried out because they have a debt to society."

God continues to lift the curtain and allow the enemies of America to give us probably what we deserve.
-- Rev Jerry Falwell, blaming civil libertarians, feminists, homosexuals, and abortion rights supporters for the terrorist attacks of Tuesday, September 11, 2001, to which Rev Pat Robertson agreed, quoted from John F Harris, "God Gave US 'What We Deserve,' Falwell Says," The Washington Post (September 14, 2001)

The ACLU's got to take a lot of blame for this.
-- Rev Jerry Falwell, blaming civil libertarians for the terrorist attacks of Tuesday, September 11, 2001, to which Rev Pat Robertson again agreed, quoted from AANEWS #958 by American Atheists (September 14, 2001)

And, I know that I'll hear from them for this. But, throwing God out successfully with the help of the federal court system, throwing God out of the public square, out of the schools. The abortionists have got to bear some burden for this because God will not be mocked. And when we destroy 40 million little innocent babies, we make God mad. I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way -- all of them who have tried to secularize America -- I point the finger in their face and say, "You helped this happen."
-- Rev Jerry Falwell, blaming civil libertarians, feminists, homosexuals, and abortion rights supporters for the terrorist attacks of Tuesday, September 11, 2001, quoted from John F Harris, "God Gave US 'What We Deserve,' Falwell Says," The Washington Post (September 14, 2001)

I sincerely believe that the collective efforts of many secularists during the past generation, resulting in the expulsion from our schools and from the public square, has left us vulnerable.
-- Rev Jerry Falwell, after the 700 Club broadcast wherein he had blamed civil libertarians, feminists, homosexuals, and abortion rights supporters for the terrorist attacks of Tuesday, September 11, 2001, speaking to The New York Times, quoted from Dick Meyer, "Holy Smoke," CBS News (September 15, 2001)

I put all the blame legally and morally on the actions of the terrorist, [but America's] secular and anti-Christian environment left us open to our Lord's [decision] not to protect. When a nation deserts God and expels God from the culture ... the result is not good.
-- Rev Jerry Falwell, backpedaling amidst criticism of his statement blaming civil libertarians, feminists, homosexuals, and abortion rights supporters for the terrorist attacks of Tuesday, September 11, 2001, quoted from John F Harris, "God Gave US 'What We Deserve,' Falwell Says," The Washington Post (September 14, 2001)

Pat, did you notice yesterday the ACLU, and all the Christ-haters, People For the American Way, NOW, etc. were totally disregarded by the Democrats and the Republicans in both houses of Congress as they went out on the steps and called out on to God in prayer and sang "God Bless America" and said "let the ACLU be hanged"? In other words, when the nation is on its knees, the only normal and natural and spiritual thing to do is what we ought to be doing all the time -- calling upon God.
-- Rev Jerry Falwell, justifying the breech of Constitutional Separation of Religion from Government while blaming civil libertarians for the terrorist attacks of Tuesday, September 11, 2001, to which Rev Pat Robertson again agreed, quoted from AANEWS #958 by American Atheists (September 14, 2001)

I hope I live to see the day when, as in the early days of our country, we won't have any public schools. The churches will have taken them over again and Christians will be running them. What a happy day that will be!
-- Rev Jerry Falwell, America Can Be Saved, 1979 pp. 52-53, from Albert J Menendez and Edd Doerr, The Great Quotations on Religious Freedom

AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals.
-- Jerry Falwell (attributed: source unknown)

The idea that religion and politics don't mix was invented by the Devil to keep Christians from running their own country.
-- Rev Jerry Falwell, Sermon, July 4, 1976

If we are going to save America and evangelize the world, we cannot accommodate secular philosophies that are diametrically opposed to Christian truth ... We need to pull out all the stops to recruit and train 25 million Americans to become informed pro-moral activists whose voices can be heard in the halls of Congress.
I am convinced that America can be turned around if we will all get serious about the Master's business. It may be late, but it is never too late to do what is right. We need an old-fashioned, God-honoring, Christ-exalting revival to turn American back to God. America can be saved!

-- Jerry Falwell, "Moral Majority Report" for September, 1984

It appears that America's anti-Biblical feminist movement is at last dying, thank God, and is possibly being replaced by a Christ-centered men's movement which may become the foundation for a desperately needed national spiritual awakening.
-- Jerry Falwell (attributed: source unknown)

There is no separation of church and state. Modern US Supreme Courts have raped the Constitution and raped the Christian faith and raped the churches by misinterpreting what the Founders had in mind in the First Amendment to the Constitution.
-- Jerry Falwell (attributed: source unknown)

The Bible is the inerrant ... word of the living God. It is absolutely infallible,without error in all matters pertaining to faith and practice, as well as in areas such as geography, science, history, etc.
-- Jerry Falwell, Finding Inner Peace and Strength

But these things speak evil of those things, verse 10 [reading from Jude] which they know not: but what they know naturally, as brute beasts, in those things they corrupt themselves. Look at the Metropolitan Community Church today, the gay church, almost accepted into the World Council of Churches. Almost, the vote was against them. But they will try again and again until they get in, and the tragedy is that they would get one vote. Because they are spoken of here in Jude as being brute beasts, that is going to the baser lust of the flesh to live immorally, and so Jude describes this as apostasy. But thank God this vile and satanic system will one day be utterly annihilated and there'll be a celebration in heaven.
-- Rev Jerry Falwell, "Old Time Gospel Hour" broadcast, March 11, 1984, quoted by Rev Jerry Sloan, "Is Jerry Falwell a liar?" Freedom Writer, September, 1994

The Jews are returning to their land of unbelief. They are spiritually blind and desperately in need of their Messiah and Savior.
-- Jerry Falwell, Listen, America!

Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them.
-- Jerry Falwell, on CNN's Crossfire, May 17, 1997

I do not believe the homosexual community deserves minority status. One's misbehavior does not qualify him or her for minority status. Blacks, Hispanics, women, etc., are God-ordained minorities who do indeed deserve minority status.
-- Rev Jerry Falwell, USA Today Chat, quoted from The Religious Freedom Coalition, "The Two faces of Jerry Falwell"

Dan Moldea, the lead investigator for Larry Flynt's ongoing quest to uncover sexual indiscretions of Republican congressional members, has now admitted he was hired by the law firm defending President Clinton.
-- Rev Jerry Falwell, from "The Bizarre Flynt-Clinton Connection," in the January 15, 1999, "Falwell Confidential" fax report to 162,000 members, referring to the firm Williams & Connolly. Dan Moldea responded, "This entire statement is false and misleading, reckless and malicious. It is a complete fabrication." However, the San Diego Union-Tribune picked up the fabrication and ran it as fact. Quoted from The Religious Freedom Coalition, "The Two faces of Jerry Falwell."

Jerry FalwellWe're fighting against humanism, we're fighting against liberalism ... we are fighting against all the systems of Satan that are destroying our nation today ... our battle is with Satan himself.
-- Rev Jerry Falwell (attributed: source unknown)

Billy Graham is the chief servant of Satan.
-- Rev Jerry Falwell (attributed: source unknown)

The ACLU is to Christians what the American Nazi party is to Jews.
-- Rev Jerry Falwell (attributed: source unknown)

AIDS is the wrath of a just God against homosexuals. To oppose it would be like an Israelite jumping in the Red Sea to save one of Pharoah's chariotters.
-- Rev Jerry Falwell (attributed: source unknown)

You'll be riding along in an automobile. You'll be the driver perhaps. You're a Christian. There'll be several people in the automobile with you, maybe someone who is not a Christian. When the trumpet sounds you and the other born-again believers in that automobile will be instantly caught away -- you will disappear, leaving behind only your clothes and physical things that cannot inherit eternal life. That unsaved person or persons in the automobile will suddenly be startled to find the car suddenly somewhere crashes.... Other cars on the highway driven by believers will suddenly be out of control and stark pandemonium will occur on ... every highway in the world where Christians are caught away from the drivers wheel.
-- Rev Jerry Falwell, in his pamphlet, "Nuclear War and the Second Coming of Christ," quoted from Ronnie Dugger,"Does Reagan Expect a Nuclear Armageddon?" in Washington Post Outlook (April 8, 1984)

Friday, May 18, 2007

IDAHOmophobia

Yesterday I went to the Sheffield event for the International Day Against Homophobia - IDAHO. There were speakers, a one-minute noise, and an LGB choir. It was good actually, with a reasonable turnout.

The speakers consisted of Jan Wilson, leader of Sheffield Council; Steve Slack, Director of the Centre for HIV and Sexual Health; Paul Broadbent, Assistant Chief Constable, South Yorkshire Police; Clive Skelton, Liberal Democrat Councillor; Alan Jones, Chair of the Area Child Protection Committee; Jackie Drayton, the former Lord Mayor of Sheffield; Graham Jones, Amnesty International; and the fantastically fabulous Claire Donnelly, of the Sheffield City Council LGBT Council Officer Group.

My photographs of the demo are available to view here, and the Sheffield Star's report on it is here.

Now, we just need to end homophobia! Let's all get on the case.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Eurovision and Pigeon-vision.

So, it's that single night of the year when Terry Wogan is actually funny. I usually get really annoyed at the point of the results when I can't remember which act was which, so for the first time, this year I actually made notes... Tragic, I know.



I suspect I am the only person in Europe to have actually liked the French entry...

In terms of pigeons, they are getting notably bigger, and the feathers are beginning to look like proper feathers. Enjoy!

Day 7:
100_3852

Day 8:
100_3860

Day 9:


Day 10:
2007 05 11 pigeonsday10 008

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Amazon Continues to Promote Normalisation of Sexual Violence.

Mr Nongkynrih,

I find it difficult to believe that you 'value the feedback of your customers', as you state, when you are clearly hiding from the obvious truth that you are offending and upsetting many, many people by stocking this 'toy'. You are doing the wrong thing.

And stating that you require a parent's consent for a child to shop at your store hardly makes everything ok. I find it offensive and disturbing that a Rapist doll is being sold at all, I am as concerned by adults buying this product as well as children.

In a society where one in four women have been raped, or have experienced attempted rape, your profiting from selling a RAPIST TOY is disgusting.

Have you no ethics or conscience about promoting sexual violence and its normalisation in society?

Having dolls called 'Rapist Number 1' on sale is distasteful, immoral, offensive, unethical and irresponsible. Your company is trivialising rape, and this is unforgiveable.

I again demand that you withdraw this item from sale immediately.

hippie

Thank you for writing to Amazon.co.uk with your concerns.

I am sorry to hear that you are upset by this item's "Rapist Number
1 from Planet Terror" inclusion in our Toys & Games store on
Amazon.co.uk.

Our goal as a retailer is to provide customers with the broadest
selection possible so they can find, discover and buy any item they
might be seeking. Such a broad selection will inevitably include
some items which some people may find distasteful or otherwise
objectionable.

As stated in Amazon.co.uk's Conditions of Use, as posted on their
website (http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/help/customer/display.html/202-
2896130-4273436?ie=UTF8&nodeId=1040616), "If you are under 18, you
may use Amazon.com only with involvement of a parent or guardian."
We expect the customers shopping on our site to be adults who may
make their own decisions about which products they choose to browse
or purchase.

However, I have passed your comments along to the appropriate
department in our company for consideration. We value all feedback
from our customers, and I thank you again for taking the time to
send us your comments about this issue.

If you have any other suggestions for us or would like to make a
comment at another time, please don't hesitate to send us an
e-mail. To do this, please visit our Help Desk at the following URL:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/contact-us

Thanks you so much for contacting us at Amazon.co.uk.

Warmest regards

Aaron Nongkynrih
Customer Service
Amazon.co.uk


see post Rapist for Sale for background information.

Monday, May 07, 2007

Pigeon Progress.

The squabs are growing at quite a rapid rate. They are also getting more spiky grey hairs (beginnings of their feathers, I think) and the yellow hairy stuff is reducing.

Intriguing process!!

Day 4:
100_3764

Day5:
100_3809

Day 6:
100_3845


See: Pigeon Progress set on flickr.

Now, when's the snooker back on?

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Saturday, May 05, 2007

Rapist For Sale.

Oh - where is your sense of humour - it's only a toy!

Amazon is selling a rapist.


Rapist Number One is a character from Quentin Tarantino's Grindhouse. The toy demonstrates the extent to which rape is taken seriously in our society. Sexual violence is a subject of play and entertainment. Amazon is obviously on the quest for rape-profits through this surrender to male porn culture. No doubt they will accrue much male approval, particularly from the little tikes who want to play at rape with their Barbies on the lounge carpet, giving them the enormous relief of being to act out in play, the vulgar and brutal little fantasies that roam around their peanut-sized brains.

Of course the arguments will be that it is just a toy and that even graphical depictions of rape and violence do not lead to actual violence. We don't accept the premise of such 'WeirdWorld' justifications because EVEN if that were true, it still ignores the fact that rape and sexual violence are being used as something to enjoy. Their arguments do not acknowledge the pure weirdness of someone who wants to think about rape and contempt of women as a way of enjoying themselves - HELLO, WAKE UP, THIS IS WRONG WRONG WRONG.

Living in a world filled with images and products which are all aimed at the titillation of the lowest, most base, males in society tends to grind us all down. Toys like 'Rapist Number One' operate below the level of language and act to normalise the sexual domination of women. Come on Amazon, you really don't need the profits from this rape-doll, so do humanity a favour and stop selling it.

"Grindhouse - designed as a tribute to the ultra-violent B-movie programmes of old - the trend officially reaches the mainstream. Made up of two films plus a clutch of trailers for non-existent movies, Grindhouse bombed when it was released in the US last month. American audiences were said to have been put off by the three-hour running time, and last week it was announced that Grindhouse will be released in a different format in the UK, the two films sold as separate features. Whether either film is any good is still up for debate - I, for one, found them both suicidally boring. What isn't in question is the disturbing attitude towards women in these films". (See full article The Guardian, 1st May 2007)

from Truth About Rape.


Contact Amazon.co.uk here. Now.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Pigeon Chicks Day 2.


100_3755, originally uploaded by incurable_hippie.

People keep telling me they're cute...

I still think they're really ugly. I do, however, wish them no harm and am quite interested to witness their growing-up progress.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Pigeon Chicks.



Baby pigeons are really, really ugly.

And there are two on my balcony.

The eggs were small and white and perfect, and I was kinda hoping for cute little things. But no. REALLY ugly.

Ah well, you live and learn.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Blog Against Disablism Day 2007.

Blogging Against Disablism Day, May 1st 2007

This post is mainly a republishing of an earlier post, to mark Blogging Against Disablism Day. Unfortunately, things haven't changed since February 2006 when I posted it originally, and some areas seem to be getting worse.

I wish this post could be celebrating the reduction in disablism when it comes to mental health treatment, stigma and support, but with the Incapacity Benefit fiasco, and mental health care services being slashed (no pun intended, maybe) this government's so called 'priority' of mental health care is clearly either a huge lie, or they have really fuckin weird ways of prioritising things.



Self-Harm and Medical Treatment
The National Institute for Clinical Excellence (NICE), in 2004 issued some guidelines on

The short-term physical and psychological management and secondary prevention of self-harm in primary and secondary care


These include instructions such as,

People who have self-harmed should be treated with the
same care, respect and privacy as any patient. In addition,
healthcare professionals should take full account of the
likely distress associated with self-harm.
[...]

If a person who has self-harmed has to wait for treatment,
he or she should be offered an environment that is safe,
supportive and minimises any distress. For many patients,
this may be a separate, quiet room with supervision and
regular contact with a named member of staff to ensure
safety.
[...]

Always treat people with care and respect.
[...]

Take full account of the likely distress associated with
self-harm.

Offer the choice of male or female staff for assessment and
treatment. If it is not possible to give people a choice, explain
why and write it in their notes.

Always ask the service user to explain in their own words why
they have self-harmed. Remember, when people
self-harm often, the reason for each act may be different on
each occasion; don’t assume it’s done for the same reasons.

Involve the service user in clinical decision-making and provide
information about treatment options.
[...]

Always offer necessary physical treatments even if the person
doesn’t want psychosocial or psychiatric assessment.

Always use proper anaesthesia and/or analgesia if treatment
for self-injury is painful.

Offer sedation if treatment may evoke distressing memories
of previous sexual abuse, such as when repairing harm to the
genital area.
[...]
• Don’t delay treatment because it is self-inflicted.


There is an awful lot of info in the report, but some of the pertinent points I have listed above.

I have heard endless stories of people in A&E being refused stitches to a self-injury cut, on the basis that 'You've got so many scars already, one more won't make a difference', or 'There's no point - you'll only do it again'. Similarly with people who have been refused anaesthetic before being stitched or having other painful treatments.

These situations appall me. People who have caused their own injuries deserve just as good (physical and psychological) care as those whose injuries were accidental or caused by others. People do not self-harm for no reason - it almost always occurs within a context of intense distress and desperation, and can frequently prevent the person from further harm (for example, suicide attempts) by releasing some of the pressure before it boils over.

People who need treatment for self-harm injuries are likely to be feeling dreadful, full of their own inner guilt for needing treatment, and very possibly feeling quite vulnerable. They do not need doctors or nurses or ambulance staff to reinforce their own feelings of self-hatred or to imply that they are wasting people's time.

I cannot talk for everyone who self-harms, and I also do not want to downplay the incredible sensitive and appropriate treatment offered by many medical staff. There are people who self-harm who won't relate at all to what I say, and there are doctors, nurses and ambulance staff who do brilliant work. There's no doubt about that.

However some people are treated appallingly, and this only leads to the person who has self-harmed to feel even worse about themselves, and further self-harm feels more appealing because they have had all their worst fears and feelings confirmed.

So, where am I going with this?

Well, there are cases of blatantly bad treatment (being refused stitches when they are needed, not using local anaesthetic where it normally would be used, derogatory comments by staff etc.), and these are easy to criticise. But there are also many, many occasions when someone who has self-harmed gets bad-mediocre treatment, but it is hard to know what the motivation behind the not-really-caring is.

I needed treatment the last couple of weeks for a burn. I went to a GP, who asked the Practice Nurse to dress it. The nurse's treatment was, well, lukewarm to say the least. She dressed the burn very badly - using inadequate dressings and suggested no follow-up at all. I needed to go back 2 days later because of the state of the dressing and the injury and although she dressed the injury better than the first time, it was still very careless, unnecessarily painful and there was no plan for follow-up again.

I came out of both of these encounters very upset, especially the second one. I was spinning between 'I deserve better treatment than this' and 'Why on earth should I expect decent treatment? It's my own stupid fault anyway'. On top of that, I really didn't know whether the nurse didn't treat me well because my injury was self-inflicted, or whether she was actually just quite incompetent and not very interested in general.

I still don't know the answer to that, but the following week I saw a different nurse at the practice, who dealt with my injury competently, and was actually nice to me. It made a huge difference to how I felt when I left the surgery. I didn't feel full of self-hatred, full of self-loathing, full of self-directed anger.

I have that age-old double standard. I believe, without a doubt, that people who have self-harmed deserve and require treatment which is as good as people who have injuries which were accidental or caused by someone else. However, when it's *me*, I of course don't deserve a single nice word or a dressing which actually deals adequately with the wound. I am stupid and a waste of time, though noone else is!

I really don't know if I got sub-standard treatment because the nurse wasn't up to speed on burn dressings, or on 'bedside' manner, or whether it was because she didn't want to deal with a self-inflicted injury, or didn't think it deserved time and treatment, or indeed deal with someone who could self-injure.

All I know is that I came out of the appointment with the second nurse feeling much more positive and capable and listened to. I'm no expert on dressings, but even I knew that the first two were inadequate. I came out of those appointments feeling disgusting and loathsome.

I do believe that in terms of avoiding future self-harm, feeling positive and capable and listened to is certainly a better place to start!




Some other relevant past posts:
Blogging Against Disablism 2006
Who Are The Mad Ones?
Information Release: Sheffield Welfare Action Network
The Difference Between Self-Harm and Suicide
Self Injury Awareness Day
Amitryptyline
National Inquiry into Self-Harm Report
Trial and Error
Time For More Health Awareness
Psycho Babble or Psychic Healing?
Alcohol, Coke and Oil
Volunteering Lunch Expenses Campaign
Lunatic Enters Number 10
Things You Need To See
I'm Not Ok
Bastard
Quietness
and plenty more!

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Funerals and Words.

Where's my banner gone?!

Z and I went to Helen's funeral this morning. It was pretty harrowing, and the minister talking of new hope in God, and of Helen's demons was really not, NOT, appropriate for me. I actually wanted to shout at him several times, but of course didn't.

It wasn't just him, of course, that made it awful. The fact that we were at the funeral of such a good friend was the worst thing. She was too young, too kind, too funny, too... And she's gone. There's nothing like a coffin to bring that home with a punch to the stomach.

A few cans of Stella, too many cigarettes and a film have helped me through the evening. I just want the day to end now really.

In other news, according to Gender Genie, my Le Pen blog entry is female, my entry about Helen is female, my entry about Charliegrrl and bullying is male, and my sexual violence is terrorism entry is male. My entry about the Park Hill murder is male, my letter to John O is male, Sheffield women, avoid this man! is female, and Visit from Auntie Flo was male (obviously! Complaining about his period pain!).

It's all about the words you use in your writing, and whether those words are more likely to be written by men or women. My results are clearly ambiguous, to say the least!

I think what this tells us is that their algorithm isn't quite up to scratch, that longer entries tend to be written by men, and that women aren't allowed to be angry. I'm so often angry! And I'm most certainly a woman.

Potentially interesting experiment there at gender genie, just a bit flawed in practice.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Dieu Merci!

Le Pen came in fourth. There were worries he'd be in the top two, but Sarkozy got 30%, Segolene Royal 25%, and Le Pen dragging with 11.5%. While it is horrifying that 11% of French people voted for him (and on the news earlier this week, it was said that 8% of Muslims were going to vote for him! Argh!), it is very very good that he's nowhere near the top two who will be going to the next stage.

Incredibly high turnout too, which I hope was because people realised Le Pen might have a chance if they didn't turn out.

I do see that voting sometimes doesn't result in a hugely democratic process, but I do think that with evil bastards like him standing, sometimes it's vital to be tactical.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

You Know It's Not Good When...

your GP gives you antibiotics for sinusitis, and the instructions say,
Take two on the first day, then OD.

Friday, April 13, 2007



One of my best friends has died. She was found on Monday and probably killed herself some time last week or at the weekend.

I am devastated and stunned. Don't know what to do with myself.

I found out on Wednesday, after much detective work by me and others, when we were really worried at not having been able to contact her for a while.

Rest in peace, Helen. I hope where you are now is better than where you were then.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Sexual Violence is Terrorism.

Blog Against Sexual Violence logo

2 women a week are murdered in Britain by their male partner, or ex-partner. The most dangerous time for a woman who has experienced domestic violence is when she leaves, or tries to leave.

The police in Britain receive 500,000 calls a year from women who suffer domestic violence.

Domestic violence is the major cause of death for women under the age of 44 - more than cancer.

Women are assaulted an average of 35 times by their partner before calling the police, according to the Home Office.

On average, the police in Britain receive a call every minute of every day regarding domestic violence.

And what are we doing with this information? This is a national crisis! An international crisis indeed, because it's not like this doesn't happen outside the UK.

You want to talk about terrorism? THIS is terrorism. The terror that millions of women are facing in their homes, from men they live with who control and bully and batter and rape and kill them.

Being raped in your home by the man who will do it again the next night, and the next night, and the next night, along with being punched, kicked, scratched, abused and humiliated, is the situation for too, too many women. Think about it, the most conservative statistics state that 1 in 7 women experience domestic violence in their lives. One out of every SEVEN women forced to live with this. Why isn't there an outcry? Where are the banners, the protests, the emergency legislation, the national and international committees resolving to sort this problem by the end of the year?

Why is this not being taken as seriously as it needs to be? It couldn't be anything to do with the victims being women, could it?

Read those statistics at the start of the post again. And again. Until you have begun to really absorb them.

You might wish you hadn't, or that you could bury your head in the sand because the reality is terrifying. You might have nightmares. You might realise you can't pretend you don't hear what goes on in your neighbour's house any more. Or that ignoring those bruises on your sister's arms is no longer an option.

Or that you can't see a way out of your own situation. If that is the case, call 0808 2000 247, which is a 24 hour helpline from women's aid. They can actually help. If you're in Yorkshire, here is a list of organisations that can help.

Violence against women is terrorism, do all you can to make it stop.

Teal Heart Award logo


Blog against sexual violence day.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Justice, For Once.

I used to live on Park Hill flats, a somewhat notorious council estate by Sheffield city centre.

There is always a lot to say about Park Hill, but for now I won't be going into that. I just need to talk about one incident, and today's long-awaited update on it.

In June 2002, I was woken by the smell of smoke. I leapt out of bed and went all the way round my flat, trying to find its source. When I couldn't find anything, I looked out of a window and saw the very clear cause. One of the flats opposite was very much on fire.

There was a huge amount of smoke, and I watched as one of the windows shattered with the heat, letting yet more smoke out. I saw that there were people around the flat door, and for some reason I presumed that the flat belonged to one of the women standing there. I grabbed my phone to call 999, when I saw firefighters arrive.

I was very frightened and disturbed by what I could see, and did not want to be part of that weird voyeuristic thing which happens to the best of people in situations like this, so I moved away from the window, and hoped the firefighters could get it under control quickly.

I was mainly relieved that the flat's occupant had got out.

Later that day I went down to the Co-op, which as well as being the local shop, also seemed to serve as social centre, marriage guidance, community news spreader and gossip centre of the estate.

Of course, all talk was of the fire. When I got to the till, I asked if anyone knew what had happened, and the woman serving me said, 'They're saying it's murder'.

I was stunned. Totally and utterly stunned. I had been convinced that that woman by the front door of the flat lived there. Why on earth had I thought that??

I was given more information - a woman was killed in the fire, she had had a stalker, one of her kids had seen the fire from the school playground, presumably not knowing their mum was dying in it. The thought was that the stalker did it.

Over the next few days, information began to be confirmed and denied. The situation was that this woman, June Bond, had 7 children. A man had been stalking her, and the flat which had been on fire was actually *his* flat. He was prime suspect, her death was being treated as murder, and he was being looked for.

The firefighters had struggled to get inside the flat to put out the fire, and once they had they were slowed down by the sheer heat and smoke. June Bond was dead.

I was terribly traumatised and disturbed by this whole event. Having seen the fire, I couldn't stop imagining how this (unknown to me) woman must have felt, dying in a fire. Unable to breathe? Burning? Worried about her kids? I had indirectly witnessed a murder and I couldn't get it out of my mind.

And then, after a few weeks, there was nothing. The flat remained boarded up, but talk got onto other matters and I learned nothing more.

This event comes to my mind still regularly, and I occasionally search the web for details of any kind of conviction or anything to follow up this woman's awful murder, but I found nothing.

So today, to read that the guy, Vincent King, had been convicted and sentenced to life, serving a minimum of 16 years, I felt so glad, so relieved.

It seems he had actually killed her with a claw hammer, and then set the flat on fire to cover his tracks. He'll be in there until at least 2018 which I'm glad about, but it doesn't seem half enough. He was stalking her, and had previously been in a relationship with her.

Yet again, a violent man kills their partner or ex-partner. Two women a week in Britain are killed by (ex-)partners. At least this time there is a conviction and something of a sentence.

16 Years for Murderer of Former Lover

A BRUTE who beat his ex-lover to death with a hammer and then tried to cover his tracks by arson must spend at least 16 years behind bars.
Vincent King, aged 59, of Norwich Row, Park Hill, was found guilty at Sheffield Crown Court in November 2002 of murdering mother-of-seven June Bond.

He had already pleaded guilty to arson being reckless as to whether life was
endangered. He was jailed for life.

Now his tariff - the minimum number of years he must spend in prison before he can seek parole - has been set at 16 years by Mr Justice McCombe, who was reviewing the case at the High Court in London.

Even taking into account the time he spent on remand, the ruling means King will not be able to even apply for his freedom before 2018.

Mr Justice McCombe said he had taken into account the fact King had been left in a "distressed mental state" when it emerged Ms Bond had begun seeing a neighbour, Oswald Darmudas.

But he also observed that King had a number of previous convictions for violence, including one against Ms Bond.

The judge also said he had tried to cover up the murder by starting a fire.

The court heard King met Ms Bond, who was 14 years younger than him, in 2001. In May 2002 she began seeing Mr Darmudas and split with King, but he 'stalked' her and discovered her new relationship.

On June 12 2002, he lured her to his flat by saying he had money for her, said Mr Justice McCombe, before killing her with a single blow to the head from a claw hammer.

At around 6.50am the next day he bought petrol from a filling station and set fire to his own flat with Ms Bond's body inside.

Monday, March 12, 2007

The Difference between Self-Harm and Suicide.

Dear John O,

Thank you for your emails, which I always read with interest and concern, and usually respond as best I can to calls for action.

I had to respond to this one, though, because of the way you are classing self-harm and attempted suicide as one and the same thing. This is just factually incorrect and very misleading.

There are many reasons why people self-harm, but it is most frequently a coping mechanism, indeed something which people can use in an attempt to *prevent* themselves getting to the point where they may end up attempting or committing suicide.
Some info:

There are probably as many reasons for self-harming as there are self-harmers.

Some people find that when they self-harm they experience a "release" which they cannot achieve in any other way. This can be a huge relief if feelings of depression, anger, self-hatred, fear or anxiety are becoming overwhelming.

Others find that when emotional pain becomes unbearable, if they hurt themselves in some way it transfers the pain to physical pain on the body. For many, physical pain (e.g. from a cut or a burn) is much easier to deal with than deep emotional pain.

On a similar note, some people find that hurting themselves physically gives them more control over their pain and their lives. Whereas it is difficult to control the emotional pain you may feel, if you then take charge of the pain and are in control of it, this can seem easier to deal with.

On the surface it could appear that self harming is similar to suicidal behaviour, especially if people are cutting their wrists, or overdosing. However for an awful lot of people, self harm is known to prevent suicide. By the means I mentioned above, self harm can take the edge off overwhelming feelings, and thus make someone less likely to attempt or commit suicide.

Some people self harm as a way of punishing themselves. If they feel guilty for something they have done, said or thought, they may then cut or burn or otherwise harm themselves because it is what they feel they deserve. Often the "punishment" is much more severe than is warranted, for example someone slashing their wrists because they overslept.

Self harm can also be anger turned inwards. For women in today's society, showing outward signs of anger is a socially unacceptable behaviour so if someone angers them, instead of shouting at them or taking their anger out in other ways, they may self harm to get rid of the supposedly unacceptable angry feelings.

There is also a scientific theory which could explain some people's self harming behaviours too. This is the theory that when we are in physical pain, endorphins ("happy" chemicals) are released into the body, leading to something resembling a "high". So when someone is feeling especially down or depressed, self harming could lead to a boost of endorphins which could make them feel better, albeit temporarily.


I would actually be surprised if incidents of true self-harm were not higher than those you quoted below. The disgraceful number of attempted suicides is probably much smaller than the incidences of self-harm which may often be well hidden and never receive medical treatment. So by merging the two in your mail you are possibly even downplaying the actual number of self-harm incidents.

Thanks for reading, hippie


John O wrote:

> ===========
> NCADC News Service
> ===========
>
> Self-Harm in Immigration Removal Centres
>
> Every other day a detainee incarcerated in a UK Immigration Removal Centre (IRC), makes an attempt at self-harm (suicide), serious enough to require medical treatment.
>
> In the 10 months from April 2006 to January 2007 there were 176 attempts to self-harm that required medical treatment. That is one incident of self-harm every 1.7 days.
>
> In the same period, 1,643 detainees were put on 'Formal Self-Harm at Risk'.
>
> Detainees and campaigners believe the actual numbers are way higher than those reported.
>
> Since the first Immigration Removal Centre opened in the UK, there have been 10 deaths from self-harm.
>
> Number of incidents of Self-Harm requiring medical treatment January 2007
>
> Campsfield House 1
> Colnbrook 12
> Dover 4
> Dungavel 0
> Harmondsworth 1
> Haslar 0
> Lindholme 0
> Oakington 1
> Tinsley House 0
> Yarl's Wood 1
>
>
> Number of individuals on 'Formal Self-Harm at Risk' January 2007
>
> Campsfield House 0
> Colnbrook 77
> Dover 10
> Dungavel 9
> Harmondsworth 3
> Haslar 3
> Lindholme 3
> Oakington 3
> Tinsley House 5
> Yarl's Wood 15
>
> A full break down for the 10 months April 2006 to January 2007;
> http://www.ncadc.org.uk/resources/self-harm2006.html
>
> 46 asylum seekers/migrants in the UK, have taken their own lives (since 2000)
> 30 in the community - 6 in prisons
> 10 in Immigration Removal Centres
> Details: http://www.ncadc.org.uk/resources/selfharm.html
>
> End of Bulletin:
>
> Source for this Message:
> NCADC
>
>--
>
> Disclaimer:
>
> NCADC's email bulletins are an important part of our work in educating the public on immigration, asylum and anti-deportation issues. As part of that work our bulletins hosts news and views from different individuals, organisations and campaigns working in the same field as us.
>
> The contents of this bulletin are the sole responsibility of the author/s and should not be taken as endorsement of any kind by NCADC.
> NCADC takes no responsibility for the content of external websites linked from our bulletins and links should not be taken as endorsement of any kind.
> NCADC reserves the right to omit or edit the whole or any part of material submitted for publication.
> Viruses: Although NCADC take great care in scanning all emails and attachments with the latest Anti-viirus software before sending. It is no guarantee that the message is uninfected. We advise all recipients of our messages that they should have the latest Anti-virus software installed.
> NCADC cannot accept liability for any damage your system sustains due to software viruses.
>

> ========================
> National Coalition of Anti-Deportation Campaigns (NCADC)
> 110 Hamstead Road
> Birmingham
> B20 2QS
> ========================
>


--


====
'Smoking has been found to be a leading cause of statistics'

http://incurable-hippie.blogspot.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/hippie/



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Saturday, March 10, 2007

Sheffield Women: Avoid This Man!



Z and I were enjoying a pub lunch this afternoon when I began to be stared at and leered at by a random male stranger. He was mouthing words to me, and stared constantly at me. This made me feel upset and intimidated, but I tried to continue as if nothing was happening, and I avoided catching his gaze as far as I could.

But no amount of ignoring seemed to discourage him and I began to get angry. Why should *I* feel upset and uncomfortable, when it's *him* being rude, arrogant, intimidating and a complete idiot.

How dare he?!

I started plotting and, inspired by sites like the fantastic Holla Back NYC - If you can't slap 'em, Snap 'em I got out my phone and took a photo of him with it. (The guy in question is the one sitting down, I've pixellated the entirely innocent guy walking behind him).

He realised what I was doing and looked duly horrified, and from then until we left the pub, he didn't even glance at me. I hope I scared him, like he had scared me.

And the photo is above. It's unfortunately not a very clear one, but still worth sharing, methinks. It makes me feel better anyway. Ha, you bastard.

Now, things to say to him:
How DARE you make me feel self-conscious? How DARE you make me feel like I should put a jumper on to cover up my barely-visible-anyway cleavage? How DARE you make me feel embarrassed? How DARE you scrutinise my movements and mouth sexual suggestions to me? How DARE you treat ANY WOMAN like a piece of meat? Whatever the fuck was going on in your head was YOUR problem and you made me feel like it was MY problem and MY fault.

You're a total idiot misogynist bastard and I actually hate you.

Don't do it again. I mean that.

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Thursday, March 08, 2007

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Self-Portrait Challenge


texturised mini me
Originally uploaded by incurable_hippie.
Using the very clever textorizer tool, I created this self-portrait of me long ago.





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Friday, March 02, 2007

Cars, Crap Arrests, Charges, Crossing Books and Cashback!

People in the UK would have struggled to miss the news stories about the petition against increasing the costs of driving here. Even people who are supposed to know me quite well were forwarding me the link to sign. As if!

So, I was joyous to receive a link to a road pricing counter-petition, from FoE via Yorkshire CND...

*Subject:* Counter petition in favour of road pricing
>
>Dear All,
>
>Friends of the Earth have created a counter petition which says:
>
>We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Don't Scrap the
>planned vehicle tracking and road pricing policy. *More details*
>http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/TRACK-CARS/?signed=a395b2a.ff1944#detail#detail
>
>Submitted by Tim Lewis – **Deadline to sign up by: **11 March 2007 –
>**Signatures:** 4,686
>
>Please sign up – link below. Please forward to friends
>
>Denise, T2000
>
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>Dear Friends of the Earth
>
>I'm emailing you about the road pricing controversy that's in the news.
>There is a great deal of coverage of the million-signature petition
>against road pricing.
>
>The impression given is that the motorists lobby is an overwhelmingly
>powerful and vocal political force. I believe that the green lobby could
>be equally influential, but needs to make its voice heard more clearly
>in order to have a greater influence on political decision making. I
>also think that road pricing is an important step to reducing traffic
>congestion and carbon emissions, and to making the roads safer for cyclists
>
>I'd be very grateful if you could forward this link the the pro-road
>pricing petition to your members, or others who you think might be
>interested, or highlight the link on your website
>
>http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/TRACK-CARS/
>
>Let's see if we can show that there are a million people in this country
>that care about the effect that traffic congestion has on our
>environment. I'd hate to be shouted down by the motorists lobby again
>
>Thanks a lot
>
>Alice Brockington


The text of the petition is as follows,
Having recently received an email asking me to sign the a petition to scrap the vehicle tracking policy, I'd like to propose the opposite. I strongly feel that driving is a privilege and not a right. There are simply too many cars on the road and too many people making journeys by car when they could simply walk or cycle. Thousands die every year in road accidents and many, like myself, are forced to risk our lives in trying to get to work in a sustainable manner. We are dependent of foreign oil and the wars to secure such resources will only get worse if we don't curb our driving habits. Driving started off as a freedom but as we've redesigned our land around the auto mobile, rather than the pedestrian, it's become nearly a necessity. It is, however, perfectly possible to live a successful, car-free life. I would like to advocate that this become the norm and if this law helps driving to become even less attractive than it already is, I'm all for it.

I couldn't agree more! And, I'm sure, neither could you. So GO SIGN, dammit!

Oh, and speaking of car pollution, does anyone else wonder whether all that contaminated petrol killing off cars in the South East could be the result of some kind of anti-car action somewhere along the line??




Just in from Schnews,
CRAP ARREST OF THE WEEK

...for telling it like it is.

The keepin-it-real young hoodie who made a 'firing gun' gesture at David Cameron last week has ended up the one targeted.

Cuddly 'Eton Messy' Cameron had been on walkabout on a Manchester estate when the 17-year-old made the hand gesture as he walked past. Police swiftly arrested him, then raided his house and held him over the weekend for a few joints worth of weed. Well, no-one disses the Tory Krew!

District Judge Wendy Lloyd told the youngster she was "concerned" that he'd been kept in custody so long for such a small quantity of cannabis. She said: "That you have been dealt with differently causes me great concern." This concern didn't stop her from dishing out a £75 fine however...

The youth, who cannot be named for legal reasons, is now auditioning for the lead role in a local theatre production of "Taxi Driver".
(my emphasis).





At some point last night when I couldn't sleep, I heard on the news that an Australian man in Guantanemo Bay has actually been charged now, having been there for five years. Five years! To charge him!!

But the fucked up thing is that being charged could be a positive for him? I mean, rather than rotting in the Cuban cages indefinitely, he has the prospect of *something* happening. So many people there have not had any charges against them, indeed if it took 5 years for this guy, and we know that anyone there being charged is pretty rare, the vast majority are just being held and held and held, illegally and totally cruelly. The racist and anti-Muslim focus of these detentions cannot be overlooked either. They are vital to keeping the whole 'war on terror' cog turning. Can you imagine if we didn't live in a racist society? Our governments wouldn't get away with a percentage of what they do.

One more reason to challege racism, eh?

But back to this Australian guy - could being charged actually be a way forward for him? I know that's all mixed-up and churned around, but that's the nature of the Guantanemo world he's been living in, and the nature of the huge war which our governments are pushing forward. *Everything* is mixed-up and fucked-up.




Also, have to give plugs to BookCrossing - commit random acts of literacy!!

to Greasy Palm - earn cashback for the shopping you're already doing!

and to YouGov polls, earn money for sharing your opinions! And get excited when polls you took part in are discussed in the news ;)

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Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Visit from Auntie Flo.

So, it's that time of the month.

You may wonder why I'm posting about that, but it's because it's such a helluva thing to hit my body. It's so significant in my ability to move around, walk, go to places and do things, that it merits an entry, even if it does make someone squeamish.

And if it does make someone squeamish, it'll probably be a bloke and he really should learn to deal with it.

So, my period started this morning. Since then, I have taken plenty of kapake and anti-inflammatories, and been hooked up to a tens machine all day.

I have lost my balance numerous times and properly fallen over three times.

I have cried numerous times and writhed around in pain for longer than anyone should.

I have been in significant pain all day, and felt exhausted, ill, sick, dizzy and drained.

I get some joy from the prettiness and comfort of my washable san pro, which are infinitely preferable to even the most non-chlorine bleached and organic papery things.

I have been unable to stand or walk for several hours of the day.

I know that this is how it is for at least another 2 days, possibly more.

A lot of this is because I have endometriosis. That's a chronic, incurable and immensely painful disease. It bloody wrecks my life several days a cycle.

(Because I also have PCOS, the length of that cycle can be quite variable!)

I track my cycles on cyclespage.com, which helps me keep an eye on what is happening - whether my cycle is getting longer, or shorter, or disappearing altogether. It has been somewhat better in the last year or so than it ever has been in my life, as it has kind of, in the loosest sense, following a monthly-ish pattern. Ish.

I never even had that when I used to take the pill!

I want to love my men/gynstruation.

I want to embrace this beautiful symbol of womanhood and growth and nature and the moon. (Using beautiful, handmade reusable sanitary towels actually does help with this a lot. It's amazing to use such sensitive, gentle fabric in this way, and 'dealing with' the towels is a very grounding way of keeping in touch with my body. Not to mention the good it can do for your houseplants ;)).

I want to love, embrace and celebrate it.

But it really, really, really hurts.

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Sunday, February 25, 2007

Academy Awards.

I wish they'd shut up on the news about tonight's Oscars.

I've heard so much about them I'm starting to actually care :-S

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Friday, February 23, 2007

In Bits. That's the post (and me).

So, it's been a while. It's been an awful time in my real life and struggle has been the defining word of the last few weeks. I've wanted to post here but have been in that particular state of mind where nothing I could ever say was worth the effort, and certainly I shouldn't imagine that others would want to read it.

I'm here, mainly referencing others' stuff, of which there are some really amazing sights and sites.

I'm trying to be well. I'm trying to feel ok. I'm trying to 'get it together'. I'm trying. And if you say 'yes, very trying' I will probably cry.

Anyway, on to the more interesting bits of this post...

Excitement of the week ---> hippie blog indirectly linked to from Time Magazine - you can read the article in question here: A Time Limit on Rape.







    Big 'YOU TOTALLY MISSED THE BLOODY POINT' of the Week:
  • Hoohaa in US over Monologues play:
    Stage play The Vagina Monologues has been renamed at a theatre in Florida after a complaint about the title.

    It will be known as The Hoohaa Monologues - a child slang word for the female organ - after a woman in Atlantic Beach complained.

    Bryce Pfanenstiel from The Atlantic Theatre told local TV station Channel 4 the woman said she was "offended" when her niece asked her what a vagina was.

    The TV network claim the play's director is not happy about the change.

    Banned

    The Vagina Monologues is being staged by a group of law school students who plan to donate all the proceeds to charity.

    Eve Ensler wrote the first draft of the play in 1996 after interviewing 200 women about their views on sex, relationships, and violence against females.

    Each monologue somehow relates to the vagina, through themes including sex, rape, birth and mutilation.

    In 2004 the production was banned from the southern Indian city of Madras, as police there thought some of the script was "objectionable".

    After premiering in the basement of the Cornelia Street Cafe in New York, its popularity has steadily increased.

    It is now performed all over the world with a vast line-up of celebrity participants, such as Sharon Osborne, Trudie Styler, Kate Winslet and Jerry Hall.
    (read more...)
    .






    Newly spotted websites:
  • Enough! - End the Israeli Occupation - Justice for the Palestinians


    Other hippie blog updates:
  • I unfortunately had to remove one of my flickr badges which was in the right sidebar. Something about it has been stalling the rest of the page from loading. I don't know why, and it hasn't been consistent, but for now I've taken it away. You can see my photos anyway though :)

  • Ditto ZoomClouds.


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Sunday, February 04, 2007

How to *really* prevent rape.

A while ago, those of us sick of being sent emails about how to not be raped (no ponytails, girls!), posted and emailed a lot about those awful 'rape prevention advice' emails which go round. My response at the time is here.

I was very glad to be sent a link to the following article today. We need more of this stuff.

One violent crime and the female victim by Emily Maguire.

If you're a woman, chances are you've received at least one version of the "how to not get raped" email. Even if you haven't, you will be familiar with the contents, because it's the same stuff you read in the newspaper whenever there's a known sex-attacker on the loose. It's the same stuff the women's magazines publish under headings like "How to stay safe".

Again and again, women are told that we can avoid rape if we don't go out alone, don't get drunk, carry our car keys as a weapon, take self-defence classes, don't dress revealingly, don't talk to strangers, and on and on. We get it. We live it. And we still get raped.

Women get raped sober and drunk. They get raped when they're out and when they're home. They get raped wearing short skirts and wearing burqas. They get raped by men they know and by men they don't know. If one woman avoids rape by using her self-defence skills, a woman unable to defend herself gets raped instead. Whatever women do or don't do, men continue to rape them.

Here's a radical suggestion: direct the rape prevention message to men. Write emails and advice columns that say: don't rape. Don't rape drunk women, solitary women, sleeping women, flirtatious women, any women. Seriously, just don't.

Men who rape may be in the minority, but that's no reason not to direct the message to all men. Not a single woman has caused her own rape, not ever, and yet women are bombarded with advice that can do nothing except cause our would-be rapist to find a different victim.

Rape is a male crime. There are female rapists but they are so rare as to be statistically insignificant. Acknowledging this in no way minimises the suffering of their victims, nor does it excuse the perpetrators. It does, however, stop us from pretending that rape is a gender-neutral crime and thus allows us to confront those responsible for most rapes.

There is a culture of acceptance about the rape of women. This becomes clear when we think about the way male-to-male rape is perceived. Male-to-male rape is seen, rightly, as a horrific, unprovoked crime. The victims are never blamed for putting themselves in harm's way by getting drunk or walking down a street alone. Men are not lectured on how to behave so as not to attract rapists.

Consider why rape is thought to be more serious if the victim is a straight man or a female virgin. The thinking is clearly that a person who has sex with men willingly in other circumstances shouldn't be so upset at "having sex", albeit unwillingly, in another circumstance. The huge misconception here is that rape is just a rougher form of sex. It isn't. Rape is to sex what being beaten unconscious is to peacefully falling asleep. It is an act of violence visited upon a person's body and it is as traumatic for a sexually active woman as it is for a virginal one or a man.

This same misconception about rape-as-sex is evident in discussions over consent. Rape, by definition, cannot be committed with the victim's consent, yet this question comes up again and again. When a woman is raped she must prove she has not consented. What did she do to stop her attacker? Did she fight hard enough, say no often enough, scream loud enough? Wasn't she dressed like she wanted to be violently penetrated? Didn't her drunkenness indicate she was up for anything? The answers to these questions are often used in lieu of evidence to determine that an alleged rape was just a big misunderstanding. If only the woman had been clearer about not wanting to be raped…

Am I arguing that women shouldn't be held responsible for their behaviour? No. If a woman drinks to excess then falls over in the street, loses her wallet and vomits all over herself, she has only herself to blame. But rape is not a consequence of getting drunk. It's a consequence of a man deciding to rape someone.

Likewise, if a woman commits a crime while drunk - driving a car or assaulting someone, say - she should be held responsible. But being raped is not a crime; raping someone is. In no other situation do we hear the victim being told to take responsibility for the criminal's actions.

Telling women they're responsible for rape doesn't keep them safe; it just keeps them scared. It also lets rapists know they can get away with their crime as long as they pick the right victim - one who "makes herself vulnerable" by refusing to live according to the edicts of a rape-tolerant society.


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Friday, February 02, 2007

To Shave or Not To Shave.

Shazia Mirza, a comedian who has long made me giggle, was on Woman's Hour yesterday, talking about her decision to stop removing her body hair. You can listen to the interview here for a few more days at least.

She is not doing this for overtly feminist reasons, she is tired of all the time it takes to maintain unnaturally hair-free legs, underarms, and anywhere else. Not to mention the money - the amount she said she had previously spent on all this was quite obscene!

One of the weirdest arguments against women having body hair is that it is 'not natural' and 'not feminine'. Well, it *is* natural - it's the shaving and waxing and bleaching and dissolving that adds the somewhat unnatural element to things. Similarly as to whether it's 'feminine' or not (whatever that means anyway), if feminine means how women are supposed to be, then, well, read the previous sentence again.

I stopped shaving various bodily areas some years ago. Partly for 'raar' feminist reasons, partly because it seemed an awful lot of effort, partly because having so many razors around me wasn't so wise at that time, and partly because I just wanted to. I had always thought that not shaving underarm hairs was 'unhygienic' which is, of course, bollocks. I haven't shaved for years now, I can't remember the last time I did. I don't feel masculine, nor have I ever done. I feel like I am living in my body as it is supposed to be (at least in terms of having hair, it's hardly a conventional body by any stretch of the imagination...!).

Richard Madeley apparently said that body hair on women makes him feel sick. Well, we know already that RM is an annoying idiot, and anything which might encourage him to go away or shut up, I fully encourage.

I have no need at all to get rid of these leg hairs. They don't worry me. I like to think I'd be as determined if I was a skirt type-of-person, but as I virtually always wear trousers it's not even much of a political statement. How can it be, if noone sees?! But I don't have to do things just to make a feminist statement (I'm growing up, see?!), I can do them because they feel right, they fit in with the rest of my life, philosophy, and body.

I enjoy my Lush baths, and I'm glad that I don't have to waste part of the totally luxurious experience with a razor in hand and, if I remember rightly, always missing some kind of thin streak of hairs up the back of my calves anyway. I don't have to rinse away chopped off hairs. I don't have to have grim accidents with old razors, and I don't have to be subjected to sharp objects every time I go into my bathroom!

I also just have no desire to make any parts of my body look pre-pubescent, yanno? I've been there, done that, when I actually was pre-pubescent. I was so glad when puberty was finally over that there's no way I want to mimic that time again ever. And if I had a partner who desired me to look that way I would be very concerned indeed. So, you want me to look like I'm 9 years old? Fuck off then. Freak.

I'd be very happy if more and more women stopped shaving various parts of their bodies. I've certainly no intention of doing otherwise.


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