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Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Monkeys, Maidenhood and Mailshots

You know when you check your post in the morning, and you find a couple of AOL CDs that you will never use? Then you go out to the shops and are faced with multiple freebie CDs glued onto the front of the magazine you want to buy. And that's not even mentioning the one that's slipped into your shopping bag by the cashier.

You feel you should do something with them rather than just put them straight out with the rubbish, but the suggestions about coasters, and creating hanging mobiles just don't, well, don't work for you.

Well, there is an answer :) Their aim is to collect 1 million of these nightmare free CDs and return them all to AOL, sending them a message about waste and junk mail.

It might sound a bit like one of those great ideas that never goes anywhere, but they have already collected 328,147. That includes 11,197 from the UK, in case any Brits were wary of what the postage rates would be to send these to the States. As it is, they only want the CDs - no packaging at all - so I can't imagine it would cost much to post even quite a few of them.

So, get sending your unwanted AOL / Netscape / Compuserve / BT Yahoo! CDs off to:
No More AOL CDs!
1601 Navellier St.
El Cerrito CA, 94530
U.S.A. is a scary website. In fact I'd even go so far as to say that I'm actually quite scared of Sarah Jane Newbury herself.

Allegedly Britain's Most Famous Virgin, this site includes details of ex-boyfriends, several tributes to the late Queen Mother, scans of letters from various of her doctors confirming she is virgo intacta, a strange, strange collection of letters from the public, and some of the most visually painful backgrounds I have ever come across.

And that is a fairly conservative description of the site. You really need to see it to believe it. If you dare. And are wearing sunglasses. And can deal with letters saying things like the following:
God bless the Queen mother who like yourself is the same height as me and one of our mutual ancestors through Scottish royalty and the Lyons. In fact when we toured Scotland we felt something very strong and are so delighted you have helped us find our roots. I always felt she was an older version of myself and never knew why.


You know the saying,
"If you have enough monkeys
banging randomly on typewriters,
they will eventually type the works
of William Shakespeare"

Well, that theory is being tested on the Monkey Shakespeare Simulator site where the best result so far is a monkey having typed the first 20 characters of Coriolanus. Which is pretty damn impressive when you think about it.

If you go to the site when you come online, you can just leave the simulator running in the background (whether you are online or not) and they will all be typing randomly, leaving you in the hope that your computer screen will be host to the first monkey to get the next record of 21 letters.

It can get a bit obsessional, incidentally ;)


Anonymous said...

Oh dear god. Is Lady Newbury's site for real, or an elaborate spoof. I think we should be told. [Richard,]