This is an open letter, and if I thought that it would be welcome, I’d have started it with the words “Dear Incurable Hippy”. But if I’m angry with people, the last thing I want is for them to be civil without saying anything helpful. So I’m not going to do it here.
What I would like to say is that the Sheffield Fems as a group have been wrong, and have done wrong, and that I, personally, have done wrong. And for all of that, I am sorry.
I don’t want to try to offer any glib explanations.
I have been wrong. I haven’t done enough. I saw your post last time you publicly showed how angry you were. I saw it and brought it up at a meeting and asked that something be done about it. I didn’t follow up on it. I should have done. I should have kept asking, and kept looking for different venues, and kept insisting that we did something about the pub, and I didn’t do any of those things. I don’t hold the Sheffield Fems email account, and I used that as an excuse to distance myself from it, and from you.
I am very, very sorry.
As of yet, we haven’t had to pay for the use of the room in the University Arms. But that doesn’t make it right. I can’t - and wouldn’t - argue with any other point you make. You’re right. And it’s my fault as much as - if not more so - than anybody else. Because I was the one who first saw the post you wrote last time, and I didn’t do enough for you.
Although I can see that by now, it’s unlikely you’d ever want to associate with me (or with the fems in general), I would like to promise you that this time, I won’t let it rest. As I should have done the first time, I consider myself warned. I am ashamed of myself.
I have been ablist. You’d think I’d know better. I will try my hardest to make up for that, and make sure that I don’t do it again.
I hope you can accept this as a sincere apology, but I understand if you can’t. Either way, and regardless of whether we ever meet (although I hope that we do, one day), I wish you well.
I appreciate her sincerity and determination, however belated. In the most recent Sheffield Fems minutes, they say,
2. We're having another crack at looking into moving the meetings. Any suggestions more than welcome... we need somewhere with a private room we can book long term, that's accessible by all, is central and is free/ really really cheep! This is a difficult list of requirement to meet so please suggestions!!!
It's certainly less enthusiastic, but hopefully there is determination which is not shining through!
When I thanked metal sunflower for her acknowledgement and apology, I did so because I was genuinely moved by her post, and I was appreciative of it. I also felt vulnerable - did I dare believe they'd sort this out? Did I dare thank them in advance?
I really, really hope that a premature gratitude doesn't make me look a fool. I want them to sort this out for other women to be able to join them, should they want to. I want my words and experiences to have got through. I really, really hope they sort this out with the urgency it deserves.
In other news, because of the snow I am tempted to remain in my latibule during my succisive hours, to avoid labascating on the ice and requiring an odynometer.
Thankfully I am not too much of a philargyrist, during this credit crunch, though I could do with a few quid I have to admit. I wonder if pound coins are plenispheres? In any case, I don't addecimate, which must save me a few bob, though doubtless provokes theomeny. And no amount of veteratorian pleas from the numerous charities who are writing to me at the moment will allow me to give them any more.
I wonder if the current economic situation is essomenic, or whether it will improve, or indeed worsen?
In penarious matters, I could do with stocking up, certainly. I won't be behaving pamphagously unless I do. I am not nequient in cooking, so can rustle up a nice meal, but fresh ingredients would be a bonus. Let's hope there is no hirculation or other pomarious problems when I need to buy fruit. Ruriculous people may be able to advise.
I keep meaning to do an ipsographic podcast for this blog, but haven't done it yet. I do hope this is not boreism.
You, too, should save the words.