Funerals and Words.

Where's my banner gone?!

Z and I went to Helen's funeral this morning. It was pretty harrowing, and the minister talking of new hope in God, and of Helen's demons was really not, NOT, appropriate for me. I actually wanted to shout at him several times, but of course didn't.

It wasn't just him, of course, that made it awful. The fact that we were at the funeral of such a good friend was the worst thing. She was too young, too kind, too funny, too... And she's gone. There's nothing like a coffin to bring that home with a punch to the stomach.

A few cans of Stella, too many cigarettes and a film have helped me through the evening. I just want the day to end now really.

In other news, according to Gender Genie, my Le Pen blog entry is female, my entry about Helen is female, my entry about Charliegrrl and bullying is male, and my sexual violence is terrorism entry is male. My entry about the Park Hill murder is male, my letter to John O is male, Sheffield women, avoid this man! is female, and Visit from Auntie Flo was male (obviously! Complaining about his period pain!).

It's all about the words you use in your writing, and whether those words are more likely to be written by men or women. My results are clearly ambiguous, to say the least!

I think what this tells us is that their algorithm isn't quite up to scratch, that longer entries tend to be written by men, and that women aren't allowed to be angry. I'm so often angry! And I'm most certainly a woman.

Potentially interesting experiment there at gender genie, just a bit flawed in practice.

Dieu Merci!

Le Pen came in fourth. There were worries he'd be in the top two, but Sarkozy got 30%, Segolene Royal 25%, and Le Pen dragging with 11.5%. While it is horrifying that 11% of French people voted for him (and on the news earlier this week, it was said that 8% of Muslims were going to vote for him! Argh!), it is very very good that he's nowhere near the top two who will be going to the next stage.

Incredibly high turnout too, which I hope was because people realised Le Pen might have a chance if they didn't turn out.

I do see that voting sometimes doesn't result in a hugely democratic process, but I do think that with evil bastards like him standing, sometimes it's vital to be tactical.

You Know It's Not Good When...

your GP gives you antibiotics for sinusitis, and the instructions say,

Take two on the first day, then OD.

One of my best friends has died. She was found on Monday and probably killed herself some time last week or at the weekend.

I am devastated and stunned. Don't know what to do with myself.

I found out on Wednesday, after much detective work by me and others, when we were really worried at not having been able to contact her for a while.

Rest in peace, Helen. I hope where you are now is better than where you were then.

Bullies Defending the Patriarchy.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Sexual Violence is Terrorism.

2 women a week are murdered in Britain by their male partner, or ex-partner. The most dangerous time for a woman who has experienced domestic violence is when she leaves, or tries to leave.

The police in Britain receive 500,000 calls a year from women who suffer domestic violence.

Domestic violence is the major cause of death for women under the age of 44 - more than cancer.

Women are assaulted an average of 35 times by their partner before calling the police, according to the Home Office.

On average, the police in Britain receive a call every minute of every day regarding domestic violence.

And what are we doing with this information? This is a national crisis! An international crisis indeed, because it's not like this doesn't happen outside the UK.

You want to talk about terrorism? THIS is terrorism. The terror that millions of women are facing in their homes, from men they live with who control and bully and batter and rape and kill them.

Being raped in your home by the man who will do it again the next night, and the next night, and the next night, along with being punched, kicked, scratched, abused and humiliated, is the situation for too, too many women. Think about it, the most conservative statistics state that 1 in 7 women experience domestic violence in their lives. One out of every SEVEN women forced to live with this. Why isn't there an outcry? Where are the banners, the protests, the emergency legislation, the national and international committees resolving to sort this problem by the end of the year?

Why is this not being taken as seriously as it needs to be? It couldn't be anything to do with the victims being women, could it?

Read those statistics at the start of the post again. And again. Until you have begun to really absorb them.

You might wish you hadn't, or that you could bury your head in the sand because the reality is terrifying. You might have nightmares. You might realise you can't pretend you don't hear what goes on in your neighbour's house any more. Or that ignoring those bruises on your sister's arms is no longer an option.

Or that you can't see a way out of your own situation. If that is the case, call 0808 2000 247, which is a 24 hour helpline from women's aid. They can actually help. If you're in Yorkshire, here is a list of organisations that can help.

Violence against women is terrorism, do all you can to make it stop.

Blog against sexual violence day.

Gabcast - Hairy Women

Gabcast! incurable hippie's musings and rants #4




(previous post I refer to).

Image Mosaic - Self Portrait Challenge

made using image mosaic generator.

Week 3, online tools or cool tools.

More hippie photos.

Justice, For Once.

I used to live on Park Hill flats, a somewhat notorious council estate by Sheffield city centre.

There is always a lot to say about Park Hill, but for now I won't be going into that. I just need to talk about one incident, and today's long-awaited update on it.

In June 2002, I was woken by the smell of smoke. I leapt out of bed and went all the way round my flat, trying to find its source. When I couldn't find anything, I looked out of a window and saw the very clear cause. One of the flats opposite was very much on fire.

There was a huge amount of smoke, and I watched as one of the windows shattered with the heat, letting yet more smoke out. I saw that there were people around the flat door, and for some reason I presumed that the flat belonged to one of the women standing there. I grabbed my phone to call 999, when I saw firefighters arrive.

I was very frightened and disturbed by what I could see, and did not want to be part of that weird voyeuristic thing which happens to the best of people in situations like this, so I moved away from the window, and hoped the firefighters could get it under control quickly.

I was mainly relieved that the flat's occupant had got out.

Later that day I went down to the Co-op, which as well as being the local shop, also seemed to serve as social centre, marriage guidance, community news spreader and gossip centre of the estate.

Of course, all talk was of the fire. When I got to the till, I asked if anyone knew what had happened, and the woman serving me said, 'They're saying it's murder'.

I was stunned. Totally and utterly stunned. I had been convinced that that woman by the front door of the flat lived there. Why on earth had I thought that??

I was given more information - a woman was killed in the fire, she had had a stalker, one of her kids had seen the fire from the school playground, presumably not knowing their mum was dying in it. The thought was that the stalker did it.

Over the next few days, information began to be confirmed and denied. The situation was that this woman, June Bond, had 7 children. A man had been stalking her, and the flat which had been on fire was actually *his* flat. He was prime suspect, her death was being treated as murder, and he was being looked for.

The firefighters had struggled to get inside the flat to put out the fire, and once they had they were slowed down by the sheer heat and smoke. June Bond was dead.

I was terribly traumatised and disturbed by this whole event. Having seen the fire, I couldn't stop imagining how this (unknown to me) woman must have felt, dying in a fire. Unable to breathe? Burning? Worried about her kids? I had indirectly witnessed a murder and I couldn't get it out of my mind.

And then, after a few weeks, there was nothing. The flat remained boarded up, but talk got onto other matters and I learned nothing more.

This event comes to my mind still regularly, and I occasionally search the web for details of any kind of conviction or anything to follow up this woman's awful murder, but I found nothing.

So today, to read that the guy, Vincent King, had been convicted and sentenced to life, serving a minimum of 16 years, I felt so glad, so relieved.

It seems he had actually killed her with a claw hammer, and then set the flat on fire to cover his tracks. He'll be in there until at least 2018 which I'm glad about, but it doesn't seem half enough. He was stalking her, and had previously been in a relationship with her.

Yet again, a violent man kills their partner or ex-partner. Two women a week in Britain are killed by (ex-)partners. At least this time there is a conviction and something of a sentence.

16 Years for Murderer of Former Lover

A BRUTE who beat his ex-lover to death with a hammer and then tried to cover his tracks by arson must spend at least 16 years behind bars.
Vincent King, aged 59, of Norwich Row, Park Hill, was found guilty at Sheffield Crown Court in November 2002 of murdering mother-of-seven June Bond.

He had already pleaded guilty to arson being reckless as to whether life was
endangered. He was jailed for life.

Now his tariff - the minimum number of years he must spend in prison before he can seek parole - has been set at 16 years by Mr Justice McCombe, who was reviewing the case at the High Court in London.

Even taking into account the time he spent on remand, the ruling means King will not be able to even apply for his freedom before 2018.

Mr Justice McCombe said he had taken into account the fact King had been left in a "distressed mental state" when it emerged Ms Bond had begun seeing a neighbour, Oswald Darmudas.

But he also observed that King had a number of previous convictions for violence, including one against Ms Bond.

The judge also said he had tried to cover up the murder by starting a fire.

The court heard King met Ms Bond, who was 14 years younger than him, in 2001. In May 2002 she began seeing Mr Darmudas and split with King, but he 'stalked' her and discovered her new relationship.

On June 12 2002, he lured her to his flat by saying he had money for her, said Mr Justice McCombe, before killing her with a single blow to the head from a claw hammer.

At around 6.50am the next day he bought petrol from a filling station and set fire to his own flat with Ms Bond's body inside.

Self-Portrait Challenge - Online Tools 2.

Following my first of the online tools self-portrait challenges, here is my second.



It was created using the warholizer from fd's flickr toys.

My flickr page is here, and visit also the self-portrait challenge homepage.

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Technorati tags: self-portrait challenge; andy warhol; incurable_hippie; self-portrait; digital imagery.

The Difference between Self-Harm and Suicide.

Dear John O,

Thank you for your emails, which I always read with interest and concern, and usually respond as best I can to calls for action.

I had to respond to this one, though, because of the way you are classing self-harm and attempted suicide as one and the same thing. This is just factually incorrect and very misleading.

There are many reasons why people self-harm, but it is most frequently a coping mechanism, indeed something which people can use in an attempt to *prevent* themselves getting to the point where they may end up attempting or committing suicide.
Some info:

There are probably as many reasons for self-harming as there are self-harmers.

Some people find that when they self-harm they experience a "release" which they cannot achieve in any other way. This can be a huge relief if feelings of depression, anger, self-hatred, fear or anxiety are becoming overwhelming.

Others find that when emotional pain becomes unbearable, if they hurt themselves in some way it transfers the pain to physical pain on the body. For many, physical pain (e.g. from a cut or a burn) is much easier to deal with than deep emotional pain.

On a similar note, some people find that hurting themselves physically gives them more control over their pain and their lives. Whereas it is difficult to control the emotional pain you may feel, if you then take charge of the pain and are in control of it, this can seem easier to deal with.

On the surface it could appear that self harming is similar to suicidal behaviour, especially if people are cutting their wrists, or overdosing. However for an awful lot of people, self harm is known to prevent suicide. By the means I mentioned above, self harm can take the edge off overwhelming feelings, and thus make someone less likely to attempt or commit suicide.

Some people self harm as a way of punishing themselves. If they feel guilty for something they have done, said or thought, they may then cut or burn or otherwise harm themselves because it is what they feel they deserve. Often the "punishment" is much more severe than is warranted, for example someone slashing their wrists because they overslept.

Self harm can also be anger turned inwards. For women in today's society, showing outward signs of anger is a socially unacceptable behaviour so if someone angers them, instead of shouting at them or taking their anger out in other ways, they may self harm to get rid of the supposedly unacceptable angry feelings.

There is also a scientific theory which could explain some people's self harming behaviours too. This is the theory that when we are in physical pain, endorphins ("happy" chemicals) are released into the body, leading to something resembling a "high". So when someone is feeling especially down or depressed, self harming could lead to a boost of endorphins which could make them feel better, albeit temporarily.

I would actually be surprised if incidents of true self-harm were not higher than those you quoted below. The disgraceful number of attempted suicides is probably much smaller than the incidences of self-harm which may often be well hidden and never receive medical treatment. So by merging the two in your mail you are possibly even downplaying the actual number of self-harm incidents.

Thanks for reading, hippie


John O wrote:

> ===========
> NCADC News Service
> ===========
>
> Self-Harm in Immigration Removal Centres
>
> Every other day a detainee incarcerated in a UK Immigration Removal Centre (IRC), makes an attempt at self-harm (suicide), serious enough to require medical treatment.
>
> In the 10 months from April 2006 to January 2007 there were 176 attempts to self-harm that required medical treatment. That is one incident of self-harm every 1.7 days.
>
> In the same period, 1,643 detainees were put on 'Formal Self-Harm at Risk'.
>
> Detainees and campaigners believe the actual numbers are way higher than those reported.
>
> Since the first Immigration Removal Centre opened in the UK, there have been 10 deaths from self-harm.
>
> Number of incidents of Self-Harm requiring medical treatment January 2007
>
> Campsfield House 1
> Colnbrook 12
> Dover 4
> Dungavel 0
> Harmondsworth 1
> Haslar 0
> Lindholme 0
> Oakington 1
> Tinsley House 0
> Yarl's Wood 1
>
>
> Number of individuals on 'Formal Self-Harm at Risk' January 2007
>
> Campsfield House 0
> Colnbrook 77
> Dover 10
> Dungavel 9
> Harmondsworth 3
> Haslar 3
> Lindholme 3
> Oakington 3
> Tinsley House 5
> Yarl's Wood 15
>
> A full break down for the 10 months April 2006 to January 2007;
> http://www.ncadc.org.uk/resources/self-harm2006.html
>
> 46 asylum seekers/migrants in the UK, have taken their own lives (since 2000)
> 30 in the community - 6 in prisons
> 10 in Immigration Removal Centres
> Details: http://www.ncadc.org.uk/resources/selfharm.html
>
> End of Bulletin:
>
> Source for this Message:
> NCADC
>
>--
>
> Disclaimer:
>
> NCADC's email bulletins are an important part of our work in educating the public on immigration, asylum and anti-deportation issues. As part of that work our bulletins hosts news and views from different individuals, organisations and campaigns working in the same field as us.
>
> The contents of this bulletin are the sole responsibility of the author/s and should not be taken as endorsement of any kind by NCADC.
> NCADC takes no responsibility for the content of external websites linked from our bulletins and links should not be taken as endorsement of any kind.
> NCADC reserves the right to omit or edit the whole or any part of material submitted for publication.
> Viruses: Although NCADC take great care in scanning all emails and attachments with the latest Anti-viirus software before sending. It is no guarantee that the message is uninfected. We advise all recipients of our messages that they should have the latest Anti-virus software installed.
> NCADC cannot accept liability for any damage your system sustains due to software viruses.
>

> ========================
> National Coalition of Anti-Deportation Campaigns (NCADC)
> 110 Hamstead Road
> Birmingham
> B20 2QS
> ========================
>

--


====
'Smoking has been found to be a leading cause of statistics'

http://incurable-hippie.blogspot.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/hippie/

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Technorati tags: self-harm; suicide; incurable_hippie; self-injury; asylum seekers; asylum rights; NCADC; mental health; mental illness.

Sheffield Women: Avoid This Man!

Z and I were enjoying a pub lunch this afternoon when I began to be stared at and leered at by a random male stranger. He was mouthing words to me, and stared constantly at me. This made me feel upset and intimidated, but I tried to continue as if nothing was happening, and I avoided catching his gaze as far as I could.

But no amount of ignoring seemed to discourage him and I began to get angry. Why should *I* feel upset and uncomfortable, when it's *him* being rude, arrogant, intimidating and a complete idiot.

How dare he?!

I started plotting and, inspired by sites like the fantastic Holla Back NYC - If you can't slap 'em, Snap 'em I got out my phone and took a photo of him with it. (The guy in question is the one sitting down, I've pixellated the entirely innocent guy walking behind him).

He realised what I was doing and looked duly horrified, and from then until we left the pub, he didn't even glance at me. I hope I scared him, like he had scared me.

And the photo is above. It's unfortunately not a very clear one, but still worth sharing, methinks. It makes me feel better anyway. Ha, you bastard.

Now, things to say to him:
How DARE you make me feel self-conscious? How DARE you make me feel like I should put a jumper on to cover up my barely-visible-anyway cleavage? How DARE you make me feel embarrassed? How DARE you scrutinise my movements and mouth sexual suggestions to me? How DARE you treat ANY WOMAN like a piece of meat? Whatever the fuck was going on in your head was YOUR problem and you made me feel like it was MY problem and MY fault.

You're a total idiot misogynist bastard and I actually hate you.

Don't do it again. I mean that.

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Technorati tags: holla back; women's rights; incurable_hippie; revenge; feminism; anti-sexism; Sheffield; women in Sheffield.

International Women's Day

Happy day, grrls.

And in the spirit of vengeing the copper in this news story in my good city, here's another great image.

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Technorati tags: IWD; International Women's Day; incurable_hippie; feminism; police brutality; misogyny; violence against women; feminist art.

Self-Portrait Challenge

texturised mini me
Originally uploaded by incurable_hippie.

Using the very clever textorizer tool, I created this self-portrait of me long ago.

Cool tools they suggest:


• Queeky - drawing tool.
  
  
• offtype - drawing tool
  
  
• artpad - painting tool
  
  
• scribbler
  
  
• flashface - make a face using many variables
  
  
• typedrawing - draw an image with letters
  
  
• websketch
  
  
• Mr Picasso Head - fun make a face tool
  
  
• textorizer - turn your photo into a text image
  
  
• face transformer
  
  
• polaroid-o-nizer - turn your photos into polaroids
  
  
• typorganism - turn your photo into type
  
  
• pikipimp - change your photos
  
  
• movie poster - flickr tools
  
  
• hockney-izer - flickr tools
  
  
• million masterpiece - image community.
  

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Technorati tags: self-portrait; self-portrait challenge; incurable_hippie; textorizer.

Cars, Crap Arrests, Charges, Crossing Books and Cashback!

People in the UK would have struggled to miss the news stories about the petition against increasing the costs of driving here. Even people who are supposed to know me quite well were forwarding me the link to sign. As if!

So, I was joyous to receive a link to a road pricing counter-petition, from FoE via Yorkshire CND...

*Subject:* Counter petition in favour of road pricing
>
>Dear All,
>
>Friends of the Earth have created a counter petition which says:
>
>We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Don't Scrap the
>planned vehicle tracking and road pricing policy. *More details*
>http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/TRACK-CARS/?signed=a395b2a.ff1944#detail#detail
>
>Submitted by Tim Lewis – **Deadline to sign up by: **11 March 2007 –
>**Signatures:** 4,686
>
>Please sign up – link below. Please forward to friends
>
>Denise, T2000
>
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>Dear Friends of the Earth
>
>I'm emailing you about the road pricing controversy that's in the news.
>There is a great deal of coverage of the million-signature petition
>against road pricing.
>
>The impression given is that the motorists lobby is an overwhelmingly
>powerful and vocal political force. I believe that the green lobby could
>be equally influential, but needs to make its voice heard more clearly
>in order to have a greater influence on political decision making. I
>also think that road pricing is an important step to reducing traffic
>congestion and carbon emissions, and to making the roads safer for cyclists
>
>I'd be very grateful if you could forward this link the the pro-road
>pricing petition to your members, or others who you think might be
>interested, or highlight the link on your website
>
>http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/TRACK-CARS/
>
>Let's see if we can show that there are a million people in this country
>that care about the effect that traffic congestion has on our
>environment. I'd hate to be shouted down by the motorists lobby again
>
>Thanks a lot
>
>Alice Brockington

The text of the petition is as follows,

Having recently received an email asking me to sign the a petition to scrap the vehicle tracking policy, I'd like to propose the opposite. I strongly feel that driving is a privilege and not a right. There are simply too many cars on the road and too many people making journeys by car when they could simply walk or cycle. Thousands die every year in road accidents and many, like myself, are forced to risk our lives in trying to get to work in a sustainable manner. We are dependent of foreign oil and the wars to secure such resources will only get worse if we don't curb our driving habits. Driving started off as a freedom but as we've redesigned our land around the auto mobile, rather than the pedestrian, it's become nearly a necessity. It is, however, perfectly possible to live a successful, car-free life. I would like to advocate that this become the norm and if this law helps driving to become even less attractive than it already is, I'm all for it.

I couldn't agree more! And, I'm sure, neither could you. So GO SIGN, dammit!

Oh, and speaking of car pollution, does anyone else wonder whether all that contaminated petrol killing off cars in the South East could be the result of some kind of anti-car action somewhere along the line??

---

Just in from Schnews,

CRAP ARREST OF THE WEEK

...for telling it like it is.

The keepin-it-real young hoodie who made a 'firing gun' gesture at David Cameron last week has ended up the one targeted.

Cuddly 'Eton Messy' Cameron had been on walkabout on a Manchester estate when the 17-year-old made the hand gesture as he walked past. Police swiftly arrested him, then raided his house and held him over the weekend for a few joints worth of weed. Well, no-one disses the Tory Krew!

District Judge Wendy Lloyd told the youngster she was "concerned" that he'd been kept in custody so long for such a small quantity of cannabis. She said: "That you have been dealt with differently causes me great concern." This concern didn't stop her from dishing out a £75 fine however...

The youth, who cannot be named for legal reasons, is now auditioning for the lead role in a local theatre production of "Taxi Driver". (my emphasis).

---

At some point last night when I couldn't sleep, I heard on the news that an Australian man in Guantanemo Bay has actually been charged now, having been there for five years. Five years! To charge him!!

But the fucked up thing is that being charged could be a positive for him? I mean, rather than rotting in the Cuban cages indefinitely, he has the prospect of *something* happening. So many people there have not had any charges against them, indeed if it took 5 years for this guy, and we know that anyone there being charged is pretty rare, the vast majority are just being held and held and held, illegally and totally cruelly. The racist and anti-Muslim focus of these detentions cannot be overlooked either. They are vital to keeping the whole 'war on terror' cog turning. Can you imagine if we didn't live in a racist society? Our governments wouldn't get away with a percentage of what they do.

One more reason to challege racism, eh?

But back to this Australian guy - could being charged actually be a way forward for him? I know that's all mixed-up and churned around, but that's the nature of the Guantanemo world he's been living in, and the nature of the huge war which our governments are pushing forward. *Everything* is mixed-up and fucked-up.

---

Also, have to give plugs to BookCrossing - commit random acts of literacy!!

to Greasy Palm - earn cashback for the shopping you're already doing!

and to YouGov polls, earn money for sharing your opinions! And get excited when polls you took part in are discussed in the news ;)

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Technorati tags: anti-car; crap arrest; incurable_hippie; petitions; links; Guantanemo Bay; anti-war; anti-racism.

Visit from Auntie Flo.

So, it's that time of the month.

You may wonder why I'm posting about that, but it's because it's such a helluva thing to hit my body. It's so significant in my ability to move around, walk, go to places and do things, that it merits an entry, even if it does make someone squeamish.

And if it does make someone squeamish, it'll probably be a bloke and he really should learn to deal with it.

So, my period started this morning. Since then, I have taken plenty of kapake and anti-inflammatories, and been hooked up to a tens machine all day.

I have lost my balance numerous times and properly fallen over three times.

I have cried numerous times and writhed around in pain for longer than anyone should.

I have been in significant pain all day, and felt exhausted, ill, sick, dizzy and drained.

I get some joy from the prettiness and comfort of my washable san pro, which are infinitely preferable to even the most non-chlorine bleached and organic papery things.

I have been unable to stand or walk for several hours of the day.

I know that this is how it is for at least another 2 days, possibly more.

A lot of this is because I have endometriosis. That's a chronic, incurable and immensely painful disease. It bloody wrecks my life several days a cycle.

(Because I also have PCOS, the length of that cycle can be quite variable!)

I track my cycles on cyclespage.com, which helps me keep an eye on what is happening - whether my cycle is getting longer, or shorter, or disappearing altogether. It has been somewhat better in the last year or so than it ever has been in my life, as it has kind of, in the loosest sense, following a monthly-ish pattern. Ish.

I never even had that when I used to take the pill!

I want to love my men/gynstruation.

I want to embrace this beautiful symbol of womanhood and growth and nature and the moon. (Using beautiful, handmade reusable sanitary towels actually does help with this a lot. It's amazing to use such sensitive, gentle fabric in this way, and 'dealing with' the towels is a very grounding way of keeping in touch with my body. Not to mention the good it can do for your houseplants ;)).

I want to love, embrace and celebrate it.

But it really, really, really hurts.

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Technorati tags: periods; women; incurable_hippie; menstruation; gynstruation; embrace the moon; endometriosis; pain.

Academy Awards.

I wish they'd shut up on the news about tonight's Oscars.

I've heard so much about them I'm starting to actually care :-S

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Technorati tags: oscars; incurable_hippie.

In Bits. That's the post (and me).

So, it's been a while. It's been an awful time in my real life and struggle has been the defining word of the last few weeks. I've wanted to post here but have been in that particular state of mind where nothing I could ever say was worth the effort, and certainly I shouldn't imagine that others would want to read it.

I'm here, mainly referencing others' stuff, of which there are some really amazing sights and sites.

I'm trying to be well. I'm trying to feel ok. I'm trying to 'get it together'. I'm trying. And if you say 'yes, very trying' I will probably cry.

Anyway, on to the more interesting bits of this post...

Excitement of the week ---> hippie blog indirectly linked to from Time Magazine - you can read the article in question here: A Time Limit on Rape.

Take action!

• Power to the Patients, see also Patient Opinion

Freebies:

• Don't know how long it will be up there, but for now you can download 10 mp3s of mandarin lessons. Cool!


• Free Antique Clipart

Big 'YOU TOTALLY MISSED THE BLOODY POINT' of the Week:

• Hoohaa in US over Monologues play:
  

  Stage play The Vagina Monologues has been renamed at a theatre in Florida after a complaint about the title.
  
  It will be known as The Hoohaa Monologues - a child slang word for the female organ - after a woman in Atlantic Beach complained.
  
  Bryce Pfanenstiel from The Atlantic Theatre told local TV station Channel 4 the woman said she was "offended" when her niece asked her what a vagina was.
  
  The TV network claim the play's director is not happy about the change.
  
  Banned
  
  The Vagina Monologues is being staged by a group of law school students who plan to donate all the proceeds to charity.
  
  Eve Ensler wrote the first draft of the play in 1996 after interviewing 200 women about their views on sex, relationships, and violence against females.
  
  Each monologue somehow relates to the vagina, through themes including sex, rape, birth and mutilation.
  
  In 2004 the production was banned from the southern Indian city of Madras, as police there thought some of the script was "objectionable".
  
  After premiering in the basement of the Cornelia Street Cafe in New York, its popularity has steadily increased.
  
  It is now performed all over the world with a vast line-up of celebrity participants, such as Sharon Osborne, Trudie Styler, Kate Winslet and Jerry Hall. (read more...)

  .

Blog Posts to read:

• Word of the Day from sinister girl.
  

  ad feminam
  
  Main Entry: ad fe·mi·nam
  Pronunciation: (')ad-'fe-m&-n&m, -"äm
  Function: adjective
  Etymology: New Latin, literally, to the woman
  : marked by or being an attack on a woman's character rather than an answer to the contentions made -- compare : AD HOMINEM (read more...



• Goodbye post from a mad Sheila :(


• Carnival Against Sexual Violence 17, including a link to my How to *Really* Prevent Rape post.

Newly spotted blogs:

• Fate is Chance. Destiny is Choice


• The other world of the Dynamite Lady


• *International Charm Exchange* (beauty-licious!)


• Feminist Nation


• The Tarot Deck Creation Collective


• The Independent Artists Group (IAG) Blog

Newly spotted websites:

• Enough! - End the Israeli Occupation - Justice for the Palestinians

Other hippie blog updates:

• I unfortunately had to remove one of my flickr badges which was in the right sidebar. Something about it has been stalling the rest of the page from loading. I don't know why, and it hasn't been consistent, but for now I've taken it away. You can see my photos anyway though :)


• Ditto ZoomClouds.

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Technorati tags: links; feminism; incurable_hippie; collaborative art.

Guardian Toon...

by Steve Bell at the Guardian.

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Technorati tags: guardian; cartoon; incurable_hippie; UK Politics.

How to *really* prevent rape.

A while ago, those of us sick of being sent emails about how to not be raped (no ponytails, girls!), posted and emailed a lot about those awful 'rape prevention advice' emails which go round. My response at the time is here.

I was very glad to be sent a link to the following article today. We need more of this stuff.

One violent crime and the female victim by Emily Maguire.

If you're a woman, chances are you've received at least one version of the "how to not get raped" email. Even if you haven't, you will be familiar with the contents, because it's the same stuff you read in the newspaper whenever there's a known sex-attacker on the loose. It's the same stuff the women's magazines publish under headings like "How to stay safe".

Again and again, women are told that we can avoid rape if we don't go out alone, don't get drunk, carry our car keys as a weapon, take self-defence classes, don't dress revealingly, don't talk to strangers, and on and on. We get it. We live it. And we still get raped.

Women get raped sober and drunk. They get raped when they're out and when they're home. They get raped wearing short skirts and wearing burqas. They get raped by men they know and by men they don't know. If one woman avoids rape by using her self-defence skills, a woman unable to defend herself gets raped instead. Whatever women do or don't do, men continue to rape them.

Here's a radical suggestion: direct the rape prevention message to men. Write emails and advice columns that say: don't rape. Don't rape drunk women, solitary women, sleeping women, flirtatious women, any women. Seriously, just don't.

Men who rape may be in the minority, but that's no reason not to direct the message to all men. Not a single woman has caused her own rape, not ever, and yet women are bombarded with advice that can do nothing except cause our would-be rapist to find a different victim.

Rape is a male crime. There are female rapists but they are so rare as to be statistically insignificant. Acknowledging this in no way minimises the suffering of their victims, nor does it excuse the perpetrators. It does, however, stop us from pretending that rape is a gender-neutral crime and thus allows us to confront those responsible for most rapes.

There is a culture of acceptance about the rape of women. This becomes clear when we think about the way male-to-male rape is perceived. Male-to-male rape is seen, rightly, as a horrific, unprovoked crime. The victims are never blamed for putting themselves in harm's way by getting drunk or walking down a street alone. Men are not lectured on how to behave so as not to attract rapists.

Consider why rape is thought to be more serious if the victim is a straight man or a female virgin. The thinking is clearly that a person who has sex with men willingly in other circumstances shouldn't be so upset at "having sex", albeit unwillingly, in another circumstance. The huge misconception here is that rape is just a rougher form of sex. It isn't. Rape is to sex what being beaten unconscious is to peacefully falling asleep. It is an act of violence visited upon a person's body and it is as traumatic for a sexually active woman as it is for a virginal one or a man.

This same misconception about rape-as-sex is evident in discussions over consent. Rape, by definition, cannot be committed with the victim's consent, yet this question comes up again and again. When a woman is raped she must prove she has not consented. What did she do to stop her attacker? Did she fight hard enough, say no often enough, scream loud enough? Wasn't she dressed like she wanted to be violently penetrated? Didn't her drunkenness indicate she was up for anything? The answers to these questions are often used in lieu of evidence to determine that an alleged rape was just a big misunderstanding. If only the woman had been clearer about not wanting to be raped…

Am I arguing that women shouldn't be held responsible for their behaviour? No. If a woman drinks to excess then falls over in the street, loses her wallet and vomits all over herself, she has only herself to blame. But rape is not a consequence of getting drunk. It's a consequence of a man deciding to rape someone.

Likewise, if a woman commits a crime while drunk - driving a car or assaulting someone, say - she should be held responsible. But being raped is not a crime; raping someone is. In no other situation do we hear the victim being told to take responsibility for the criminal's actions.

Telling women they're responsible for rape doesn't keep them safe; it just keeps them scared. It also lets rapists know they can get away with their crime as long as they pick the right victim - one who "makes herself vulnerable" by refusing to live according to the edicts of a rape-tolerant society.

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Technorati tags: rape prevention; women; incurable_hippie; anti-rape; feminism; men.