Books, Ballots, and Bums

Rude Cactus talks of the book meme...

You copy and paste the list, bold the ones you have read, and then add three of your own at the end.

Feel free to steal!

1. The Lord of the Rings, JRR Tolkien
2. Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen
3. His Dark Materials, Philip Pullman
4. The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams
5. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, JK Rowling
6. To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee
7. Winnie the Pooh, AA Milne
8. 1984, George Orwell
9. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, CS Lewis
10. Jane Eyre, Charlotte Bronte
11. Catch-22, Joseph Heller
12. Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronte
13. Birdsong, Sebastian Faulks
14. Rebecca, Daphne du Maurier
15. The Catcher in the Rye, JD Salinger
16. The Wind in the Willows, Kenneth Grahame
17. Great Expectations, Charles Dickens
18. Little Women, Louisa May Alcott
19. Captain Corellis Mandolin, Louis de Bernieres
20. War and Peace, Leo Tolstoy
21. Gone with the Wind, Margaret Mitchell
22. Harry Potter And The Philosopher's Stone, JK Rowling
23. Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets, JK Rowling
24. Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban, JK Rowling
25. The Hobbit, JRR Tolkien
26. Tess Of The DUrbervilles, Thomas Hardy
27. Middlemarch, George Eliot
28. A Prayer For Owen Meany, John Irving
29. The Grapes Of Wrath, John Steinbeck
30. Alices Adventures In Wonderland, Lewis Carroll
31. The Story Of Tracy Beaker, Jacqueline Wilson
32. One Hundred Years Of Solitude, Gabriel Garcia Marquez
33. The Pillars Of The Earth, Ken Follett
34. David Copperfield, Charles Dickens
35. Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, Roald Dahl
36. Treasure Island, Robert Louis Stevenson
37. A Town Like Alice, Nevil Shute
38. Persuasion, Jane Austen
39. Dune, Frank Herbert
40. Emma, Jane Austen
41. Anne Of Green Gables, LM Montgomery
42. Watership Down, Richard Adams
43. The Great Gatsby, F Scott Fitzgerald
44. The Count Of Monte Cristo, Alexandre Dumas
45. Brideshead Revisited, Evelyn Waugh
46. Animal Farm, George Orwell
47. A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens
48. Far From The Madding Crowd, Thomas Hardy
49. Goodnight Mister Tom, Michelle Magorian
50. The Shell Seekers, Rosamunde Pilcher
51. The Secret Garden, Frances Hodgson Burnett
52. Of Mice And Men, John Steinbeck
53. The Stand, Stephen King
54. Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy
55. A Suitable Boy, Vikram Seth
56. The BFG, Roald Dahl
57. Swallows And Amazons, Arthur Ransome
58. Black Beauty, Anna Sewell
59. Artemis Fowl, Eoin Colfer
60. Crime And Punishment, Fyodor Dostoyevsky
61. Noughts And Crosses, Malorie Blackman
62. Memoirs Of A Geisha, Arthur Golden
63. A Tale Of Two Cities, Charles Dickens
64. The Thorn Birds, Colleen McCollough
65. Mort, Terry Pratchett
66. The Magic Faraway Tree, Enid Blyton
67. The Magus, John Fowles
68. Good Omens, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
69. Guards! Guards!, Terry Pratchett
70. Lord Of The Flies, William Golding
71. Perfume, Patrick Susskind
72. The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists, Robert Tressell
73. Night Watch, Terry Pratchett
74. Matilda, Roald Dahl
75. Bridget Joness Diary, Helen Fielding
76. The Secret History, Donna Tartt
77. The Woman In White, Wilkie Collins
78. Ulysses, James Joyce
79. Bleak House, Charles Dickens
80. Double Act, Jacqueline Wilson
81. The Twits, Roald Dahl
82. I Capture The Castle, Dodie Smith
83. Holes, Louis Sachar
84. Gormenghast, Mervyn Peake
85. The God Of Small Things, Arundhati Roy
86. Vicky Angel, Jacqueline Wilson
87. Brave New World, Aldous Huxley
88. Cold Comfort Farm, Stella Gibbons
89. Magician, Raymond E Feist
90. On The Road, Jack Kerouac
91. The Godfather, Mario Puzo
92. The Clan Of The Cave Bear, Jean M Auel
93. The Colour Of Magic, Terry Pratchett
94. The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho
95. Katherine, Anya Seton
96. Kane And Abel, Jeffrey Archer
97. Love In The Time Of Cholera, Gabriel Garcia Marquez
98. Girls In Love, Jacqueline Wilson
99. The Princess Diaries, Meg Cabot
100. Midnights Children, Salman Rushdie
101. Three Men In A Boat, Jerome K. Jerome
102. Small Gods, Terry Pratchett
103. The Beach, Alex Garland
104. Dracula, Bram Stoker
105. Point Blanc, Anthony Horowitz
106. The Pickwick Papers, Charles Dickens
107. Stormbreaker, Anthony Horowitz
108. The Wasp Factory, Iain Banks
109. The Day Of The Jackal, Frederick Forsyth
110. The Illustrated Mum, Jacqueline Wilson
111. Jude The Obscure, Thomas Hardy
112. The Secret Diary Of Adrian Mole Aged 13 1/2, Sue Townsend
113. The Cruel Sea, Nicholas Monsarrat
114. Les Miserables, Victor Hugo
115. The Mayor Of Casterbridge, Thomas Hardy
116. The Dare Game, Jacqueline Wilson
117. Bad Girls, Jacqueline Wilson
118. The Picture Of Dorian Gray, Oscar Wilde
119. Shogun, James Clavell
120. The Day Of The Triffids, John Wyndham
121. Lola Rose, Jacqueline Wilson
122. Vanity Fair, William Makepeace Thackeray
123. The Forsyte Saga, John Galsworthy
124. House Of Leaves, Mark Z. Danielewski
125. The Poisonwood Bible, Barbara Kingsolver
126. Reaper Man, Terry Pratchett
127. Angus, Thongs And Full-Frontal Snogging, Louise Rennison
128. The Hound Of The Baskervilles, Arthur Conan Doyle
129. Possession, A. S. Byatt
130. The Master And Margarita, Mikhail Bulgakov
131. The Handmaids Tale, Margaret Atwood
132. Danny The Champion Of The World, Roald Dahl
133. East Of Eden, John Steinbeck
134. Georges Marvellous Medicine, Roald Dahl
135. Wyrd Sisters, Terry Pratchett
136. The Color Purple, Alice Walker
137. Hogfather, Terry Pratchett
138. The Thirty-Nine Steps, John Buchan
139. Girls In Tears, Jacqueline Wilson
140. Sleepovers, Jacqueline Wilson
141. All Quiet On The Western Front, Erich Maria Remarque
142. Behind The Scenes At The Museum, Kate Atkinson
143. High Fidelity, Nick Hornby
144. It, Stephen King
145. James And The Giant Peach, Roald Dahl
146. The Green Mile, Stephen King
147. Papillon, Henri Charriere
148. Men At Arms, Terry Pratchett
149. Master And Commander, Patrick OBrian
150. Skeleton Key, Anthony Horowitz
151. Soul Music, Terry Pratchett
152. Thief Of Time, Terry Pratchett
153. The Fifth Elephant, Terry Pratchett
154. Atonement, Ian McEwan
155. Secrets, Jacqueline Wilson
156. The Silver Sword, Ian Serraillier
157. One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest, Ken Kesey
158. Heart Of Darkness, Joseph Conrad
159. Kim, Rudyard Kipling
160. Cross Stitch, Diana Gabaldon
161. Moby Dick, Herman Melville
162. River God, Wilbur Smith
163. Sunset Song, Lewis Grassic Gibbon
164. The Shipping News, Annie Proulx
165. The World According To Garp, John Irving
166. Lorna Doone, R. D. Blackmore
167. Girls Out Late, Jacqueline Wilson
168. The Far Pavilions, M. M. Kaye
169. The Witches, Roald Dahl
170. Charlottes Web, E. B. White
171. Frankenstein, Mary Shelley
172. They Used To Play On Grass, Terry Venables and Gordon Williams
173. The Old Man And The Sea, Ernest Hemingway
174. The Name Of The Rose, Umberto Eco
175. Sophies World, Jostein Gaarder
176. Dustbin Baby, Jacqueline Wilson
177. Fantastic Mr. Fox, Roald Dahl
178. Lolita, Vladimir Nabokov
179. Jonathan Livingstone Seagull, Richard Bach
180. The Little Prince, Antoine De Saint-Exupery
181. The Suitcase Kid, Jacqueline Wilson
182. Oliver Twist, Charles Dickens
183. The Power Of One, Bryce Courtenay
184. Silas Marner, George Eliot
185. American Psycho, Bret Easton Ellis
186. The Diary Of A Nobody, George and Weedon Gross-mith
187. Trainspotting, Irvine Welsh
188. Goosebumps, R. L. Stine
189. Heidi, Johanna Spyri
190. Sons And Lovers, D. H. Lawrence
191. The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Milan Kundera
192. Man And Boy, Tony Parsons
193. The Truth, Terry Pratchett
194. The War Of The Worlds, H. G. Wells
195. The Horse Whisperer, Nicholas Evans
196. A Fine Balance, Rohinton Mistry
197. Witches Abroad, Terry Pratchett
198. The Once And Future King, T. H. White
199. The Very Hungry Caterpillar, Eric Carle
200. Flowers In The Attic, Virginia Andrews
201. The Silmarillion, J.R.R. Tolkien
202. The Eye of the World, Robert Jordan
203. The Great Hunt, Robert Jordan
204. The Dragon Reborn, Robert Jordan
205. Fires of Heaven, Robert Jordan
206. Lord of Chaos, Robert Jordan
207. Winters Heart, Robert Jordan
208. A Crown of Swords, Robert Jordan
209. Crossroads of Twilight, Robert Jordan
210. A Path of Daggers, Robert Jordan
211. As Nature Made Him, John Colapinto
212. Microserfs, Douglas Coupland
213. The Married Man, Edmund White
214. Winters Tale, Mark Helprin
215. The History of Sexuality, Michel Foucault
216. Cry to Heaven, Anne Rice
217. Same-Sex Unions in Premodern Europe, John Boswell
218. Equus, Peter Shaffer
219. The Man Who Ate Everything, Jeffrey Steingarten
220. Letters To A Young Poet, Rainer Maria Rilke
221. Ella Minnow Pea, Mark Dunn
222. The Vampire Lestat, Anne Rice
223. Anthem, Ayn Rand
224. The Bridge To Terabithia, Katherine Paterson
225. Tartuffe, Moliere
226. The Metamorphosis, Franz Kafka
227. The Crucible, Arthur Miller
228. The Trial, Franz Kafka
229. Oedipus Rex, Sophocles
230. Oedipus at Colonus, Sophocles
231. Death Be Not Proud, John Gunther
232. A Dolls House, Henrik Ibsen
233. Hedda Gabler, Henrik Ibsen
234. Ethan Frome, Edith Wharton
235. A Raisin In The Sun, Lorraine Hansberry
236. ALIVE!, Piers Paul Read
237. Grapefruit, Yoko Ono
238. Trickster Makes This World, Lewis Hyde
240. The Mists of Avalon, Marion Zimmer Bradley
241. Chronicles of Thomas Convenant, Unbeliever, Stephen Donaldson
242. Lord of Light, Roger Zelazny
242. The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay, Michael Chabon
243. Summerland, Michael Chabon
244. A Confederacy of Dunces, John Kennedy Toole
245. Candide, Voltaire
246. The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar and Six More, Roald Dahl
247. Ringworld, Larry Niven
248. The King Must Die, Mary Renault
249. Stranger in a Strange Land, Robert Heinlein
250. A Wrinkle in Time, Madeline LEngle
251. The Eyre Affair, Jasper Fforde
252. The House Of The Seven Gables, Nathaniel Hawthorne
253. The Scarlet Letter, Nathaniel Hawthorne
254. The Joy Luck Club, Amy Tan
255. The Great Gilly Hopkins, Katherine Paterson
256. Chocolate Fever, Robert Kimmel Smith
257. Xanth: The Quest for Magic, Piers Anthony
258. The Lost Princess of Oz, L. Frank Baum
259. Wonder Boys, Michael Chabon
260. Lost In A Good Book, Jasper Fforde
261. Well Of Lost Plots, Jasper Fforde
261. Life Of Pi, Yann Martel
263. The Bean Trees, Barbara Kingsolver
264. A Yellow Rraft In Blue Water, Michael Dorris
265. Little House on the Prairie, Laura Ingalls Wilder
267. Where The Red Fern Grows, Wilson Rawls
268. Griffin & Sabine, Nick Bantock
269. Witch of Blackbird Pond, Joyce Friedland
270. Mrs. Frisby And The Rats Of NIMH, Robert C. OBrien
271. Tuck Everlasting, Natalie Babbitt
272. The Cay, Theodore Taylor
273. From The Mixed-Up Files Of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler, E.L. Konigsburg
274. The Phantom Tollbooth, Norton Juster
275. The Westing Game, Ellen Raskin
276. The Kitchen Gods Wife, Amy Tan
277. The Bone Setters Daughter, Amy Tan
278. Relic, Duglas Preston & Lincolon Child
279. Wicked, Gregory Maguire
280. American Gods, Neil Gaiman
281. Misty of Chincoteague, Marguerite Henry
282. The Girl Next Door, Jack Ketchum
283. Haunted, Judith St. George
284. Singularity, William Sleator
285. A Short History of Nearly Everything, Bill Bryson
286. Different Seasons, Stephen King
287. Fight Club, Chuck Palahniuk
288. About a Boy, Nick Hornby
289. The Bookmans Wake, John Dunning
290. The Church of Dead Girls, Stephen Dobyns
291. Illusions, Richard Bach
292. Magics Pawn, Mercedes Lackey
293. Magics Promise, Mercedes Lackey
294. Magics Price, Mercedes Lackey
295. The Dancing Wu Li Masters, Gary Zukav
296. Spirits of Flux and Anchor, Jack L. Chalker
297. Interview with the Vampire, Anne Rice
298. The Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices, Brenda Love
299. Infinite Jest, David Foster Wallace.
300. The Bluest Eye, Toni Morrison.
301. The Cider House Rules, John Irving.
302. Enders Game, Orson Scott Card
303. Girlfriend in a Coma, Douglas Coupland
304. The Lions Game, Nelson Demille
305. The Sun, The Moon, and the Stars, Stephen Brust
306. Cyteen, C. J. Cherryh
307. Foucaults Pendulum, Umberto Eco
308. Cryptonomicon, Neal Stephenson
309. Invisible Monsters, Chuck Palahniuk
310. Camber of Culdi, Kathryn Kurtz
311. The Fountainhead, Ayn Rand
312. War and Rememberance, Herman Wouk
313. The Art of War, Sun Tzu
314. The Giver, Lois Lowry
315. The Telling, Ursula Le Guin
316. Xenogenesis (or Liliths Brood), Octavia Butler
317. A Civil Campaign, Lois McMaster Bujold
318. The Curse of Chalion, Lois McMaster Bujold
319. The Aeneid, Publius Vergilius Maro (Vergil)
320. Hanta Yo, Ruth Beebe Hill
321. The Princess Bride, S. Morganstern (or William Goldman)
322. Beowulf, Anonymous
323. The Sparrow, Maria Doria Russell
324. Deerskin, Robin McKinley
325. Dragonsong, Anne McCaffrey
326. Passage, Connie Willis
327. Otherland, Tad Williams
328. Tigana, Guy Gavriel Kay
329. Number the Stars, Lois Lowry
330. Beloved, Toni Morrison
331. Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christs Childhood Pal, Christopher Moore
332. The mysterious disappearance of Leon, I mean Noel, Ellen Raskin
333. Summer Sisters, Judy Blume
334. The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Victor Hugo
335. The Island on Bird Street, Uri Orlev
336. Midnight in the Dollhouse, Marjorie Filley Stover
337. The Miracle Worker, William Gibson
338. The Genesis Code, John Case
339. The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Robert Louis Stevensen
340. Paradise Lost, John Milton
341. Phantom, Susan Kay
342. The Mummy or Ramses the Damned, Anne Rice
343. Anno Dracula, Kim Newman
344: The Dresden Files: Grave Peril, Jim Butcher
345: Tokyo Suckerpunch, Issac Adamson
346: The Winter of Magics Return, Pamela Service
347: The Oddkins, Dean R. Koontz
348. My Name is Asher Lev, Chaim Potok
349. The Last Goodbye, Raymond Chandler
350. At Swim, Two Boys, Jaime ONeill
351. Othello, by William Shakespeare
352. The Collected Poems of Dylan Thomas
353. The Collected Poems of William Butler Yeats
354. Sati, Christopher Pike
355. The Inferno, Dante
356. The Apology, Plato
357. The Small Rain, Madeline LEngle
358. The Man Who Tasted Shapes, Richard E Cytowick
359. 5 Novels, Daniel Pinkwater
360. The Sevenwaters Trilogy, Juliet Marillier
361. Girl with a Pearl Earring, Tracy Chevalier
362. To the Lighthouse, Virginia Woolf
363. Our Town, Thorton Wilder
364. Green Grass Running Water, Thomas King
335. The Interpreter, Suzanne Glass
336. The Moors Last Sigh, Salman Rushdie
337. The Mother Tongue, Bill Bryson
338. A Passage to India, E.M. Forster loved
339. The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Stephen Chbosky
340. The Phantom of the Opera, Gaston Leroux
341. Pages for You, Sylvia Brownrigg
342. The Changeover, Margaret Mahy
343. Howls Moving Castle, Diana Wynne Jones
344. Angels and Demons, Dan Brown
345. Johnny Got His Gun, Dalton Trumbo
346. Shosha, Isaac Bashevis Singer
347. Travels With Charley, John Steinbeck
348. The Diving-bell and the Butterfly by Jean-Dominique Bauby
349. The Lunatic at Large by J. Storer Clouston
350. Time for Bed by David Baddiel
351. Barrayar by Lois McMaster Bujold
352. Quite Ugly One Morning by Christopher Brookmyre
353. The Bloody Sun by Marion Zimmer Bradley
354. Sewer, Gas, and Eletric by Matt Ruff
355. Jhereg by Steven Brust
356. So You Want To Be A Wizard by Diane Duane
357. Perdido Street Station, China Mieville
358. The Tenant of Wildfell Hall, Anne Bronte
359. Road-side Dog, Czeslaw Milosz
360. The English Patient, Michael Ondaatje
361. Neuromancer, William Gibson
362. The Epistemology of the Closet, Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick
363. A Canticle for Liebowitz, Walter M. Miller, Jr
364. The Mask of Apollo, Mary Renault
365. The Gunslinger, Stephen King
366. Romeo and Juliet, William Shakespeare
367. Childhoods End, Arthur C. Clarke
368. A Season of Mists, Neil Gaiman
369. Ivanhoe, Walter Scott
370. The God Boy, Ian Cross
371. The Beekeepers Apprentice, Laurie R. King
372. Finn Family Moomintroll, Tove Jansson
373. Misery, Stephen King
374. Tipping the Velvet, Sarah Waters
375. Hood, Emma Donoghue
376. The Land of Spices, Kate OBrien
377. The Diary of Anne Frank
378. Regeneration, Pat Barker
379. Tender is the Night, F. Scott Fitzgerald
380. Dreaming in Cuban, Cristina Garcia
381. A Farewell to Arms, Ernest Hemingway
382. The View from Saturday, E.L. Konigsburg
383. Dealing with Dragons, Patricia Wrede
384. Eats, Shoots & Leaves, Lynne Truss
385. A Severed Wasp - Madeleine LEngle
386. Here Be Dragons - Sharon Kay Penman
387. The Mabinogion (Ancient Welsh Tales) - translated by Lady Charlotte E. Guest
388. The DaVinci Code - Dan Brown
389. Desire of the Everlasting Hills - Thomas Cahill
390. The Cloister Walk - Kathleen Norris
391. The Things We Carried, Tim OBrien
392. I Know This Much Is True, Wally Lamb
393. Choke, Chuck Palahniuk
394. Enders Shadow, Orson Scott Card
395. The Memory of Earth, Orson Scott Card
396. The Iron Tower, Dennis L. McKiernen
397. Atlas Shrugged, Ayn Rand
398. A Ring of Endless Light, Madeline L'Engle
399. Lords of Discipline, Pat Conroy
400. Hyperion, Dan Simmons
401. If Nobody Speaks of Remarkable Things, Jon McGregor
402. The Bridge, Iain Banks
403. The Baghdad Blog, Salam Pax
404. Life and Death, Andrea Dworkin
405. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime, Mark Haddon

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Tokyo Skirts is mad / disturbing / odd / scary.

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Overall Euro Election Results

Yorkshire and Humber Euro Election Results are terrifyingly showing that the scary fascists came 5th with a horrendous 126538 votes... that is, one hundred and twenty six thousand five hundred and thirty eight...

No seats though, thank goodness. Yet.

In Yorkshire and the Humber Labour have 2 seats (3 last time), Conservatives have 2 seats (3 last time), Liberal Democrats have 1 seat (same as last time) and UKIP have 1 seat (none last time).

While very, very glad the BNP have no seats in my region, the UK Independence Party don't give me much more hope. While almost certainly a loud protest vote in many cases, they are nationalist, and Anglo-centric in a way which, as you will already know if you read this, makes me shudder.

Keeping an eye on the other results coming in...

Don't Interrupt

When someone interrupts me, I

• feel unimportant
  
• feel dismissed
  
• feel devalued
  
• feel silenced
  
• feel useless
  
• feel I'm a waste of space
  
• feel stupid
  
• feel stupid for thinking anything I had to say was important
  
• feel stupid for thinking anything I had to say was interesting
  
• feel embarrassed
  
• feel ashamed
  
• am belittled
  
• am devalued
  
• am silenced
  
• am less important than you
  
• am not worthy of your attention
  
• am not valued
  
• have no value
  
• shrink
  
• collapse
  
• disappear
  

Economics, Elections, Ebay and Email

Of the world's 100 largest economic entities, 51 are now corporations and 49 are countries. Be afraid.

As I type, the Sheffield City Council local election results are dribbling through... All Labour and Lib Dem so far... No BNP thank goodness.

Pretty pink shoes. Probably a bargain at £15 if you're into that kind of thing. It seems the buyer was no other than Cherie Booth! I don't like that I have written about that - let the poor woman shop in peace - but I'm too much of an ebay addict to not bite on a story like that!

I am enjoying testing the gmail beta. It makes high-volume email lists much easier to manage.

NB Alliterative Title with neither effort nor planning at all on my part!!

Funky Cold Medina

Alright, dig it
Cold coolin at a bar, and I'm lookin for some action
But like Mike Jagger said, I can't get no satisfaction
The girls are all around, but none of them wanna get with me
My threads are fresh and I'm lookin def, yo, what's up with L-o-c?
The girls is all jockin at the other end of the bar
Havin drinks with some no-name chump, when they know that I'm the star
So I got up and strolled over to the other side of the cantina
I asked the guy, Why you so fly? he said, Funky Cold Medina
Funky Cold Medina

This brother told me a secret on how to get more chicks
Put a little Medina in your glass, and the girls'll come real quick
It's better than any alcohol or aphrodisiac
A couple of sips of this love potion, and she'll be on your lap
So I gave some to my dog when he began to beg
Then he licked his bowl and he looked at me and did the wild thing on my leg
He used to scratch and bite me, before he was much much meaner
But now all the poodles run to my house for the Funky Cold Medina
You know what I'm sayin?
I got every dog in my neighborhood breakin down my door
I got Spuds McKenzieAlex from Stroh's
They won't leave my dog alone with that Medina, pal

I went up to this girl, she said, Hi, my name is Sheena
I thought she'd be good to go with a little Funky Cold Medina
She said, I'd like a drink, I said, Ehm - ok, I'll go get it
Then a couple sips she cold licked her lips, and I knew that she was with it
So I took her to my crib, and everything went well as planned
But when she got undressed, it was a big old mess, Sheena was a man
So I threw him out, I don't fool around with no Oscar Meyer wiener
You must be sure that the girl is pure for the Funky Cold Medina
You know, ain't no plans with a man
This is the 80's, and I'm down with the ladies
Ya know?
Break it down

Back in the saddle, lookin for a little affection
I took a shot as a contestant on _The Love Connection_
The audience voted, and you know they picked a winner
I took my date to the Hilton for Medina and some dinner
She had a few drinks, I'm thinkin soon what I'll be gettin
Instead she started talkin 'bout plans for our weddin
I said, Wait, slow down, love, not so fast says, I'll be seein ya
That's why I found you don't play around with the Funky Cold Medina
Ya know what I'm sayin
That Medina's a monster, y'all
Funky Cold Medina

National Endometriosis Awareness Day

The National Endometriosis Society tell me that today is National Endometriosis Awareness Day which I had not known. Unfortunately I have been super-aware of this disease the last few days because of the agony and misery it has been bringing me.

Every Part of My Body Hurt is not only a very apt description of the disease, but also a challenging article about one woman's experiences of endometriosis, diagnosis, treatment, and not recovering, but taking control of her treatment options.

What are the aims of Endometriosis Awareness Day 2004?

• To promote a greater awareness and understanding of endometriosis as a very real and, for many, a debilitating and disabling disease.
  
  
• To highlight the consequences of living with endometriosis for the sufferer, carer and all those affected by the disease
  
  
• To create a greater awareness and understanding of endometriosis amongst the medical profession, education sector, employers, politicians, unions and society in general.

I see that it is still taking women an average of 7 years to get a diagnosis of endometriosis. For me that was certainly true almost to the week.

I spent most of that 7 years being told I'd grow out of it, I'd be fine once I'd had a baby, or that everyone has period pains and I should stop making such a fuss.

I knew that what I was dealing with in terms of pain was a totally different matter from the usual period pain I saw amongst my schoolfriends, which was often eased with a paracetamol or two. I also knew that no amount of (alleged) low pain threshold could account for the writhing in agony on my bedroom floor, collapsing at school, screaming out in pain, which greeted me monthly.

But apart from my friends, to whom it was clear there was something very wrong with me, no-one would acknowledge that this wasn't normal, or do anything to help me.

I spent several years on and off the contraceptive pill. It didn't help with the pain especially, but using it slyly I could run two packs together to skip a period if it was due during exam time, say. Other than that and the average painkillers I wasn't offered any help.

Eventually, one day in despair and unable to stand upright, I turned up at the GP's surgery while I had my period. This woman, who wasn't even my usual doctor, actually saw what I was going through, and did an instant urgent referral to gynaecology.

A few months and a laparoscopy later, I was diagnosed with endometriosis, PCOS and something else whose name I always forget, since the gynaecologist mentioned it once while I was ocming round from the anaesthetic, and that was the first and last time I heard of it! Oh yes, pelvic congestion.

But yes diathermy, ovarian drilling, and many, many drugs later, it waned for a while - for which I am eternally grateful - but now the symptoms are well and truly back.

Watch this space...

GPs call for better treatment of asylum seekers is a very reassuring article, proving to me that there are still good souls in the world, who consider people before profits and such.

Dip Lemons in Aspic

I've been filling in my DLA forms. DLA, you ask? It stands for Dreadfully Long and Arduous. Or is it Deadly, Lethal and Annoying?

Actually, it stands for Disability Living Allowance. DLA is notoriously difficult to qualify for, notoriously random in who qualifies for what level, and certainly vital for many of us folk disabled in one way or another to live.

The forms are 42 pages of hellish, intrusive questions, requiring detailed and personal answers and disclosures. For those of us who are applying predominantly on the basis of mental health problems, finding a whole series of questions very much directed to explore physical disabilities, is also off-putting and makes filling out the form even more difficult than it already is.

Many, many people find out that they may be entitled to DLA and phone up for the forms. Once the forms arrive, they are so overwhelmed that they remain unfilled in when on first application they are supposed to be returned within a month.

My current forms are a re-application as my previous entitlement is due to run out soon.

Filling them in is not only painstakingly slow and humiliating, it is also terribly depressing when you are forced to write in detail about every area of your life that you struggle with - shooting down any weird ideas you may have previously had about being a functioning human being...

I guess there does have to be a way to ensure that disability benefits go to genuine applicants, but I'm really not sure that DLA hell is the best way forward.

The Guardian ran a weekend feature yesterday on gang rape. It is a devastating and immensely disturbing article detailing the young ages of many victims and perpetrators of gang rape, and the social acceptance which many gang rapists experience, while the girls and women who are raped are vilified.

It is interesting to read different people's theories as to why boys rape girls - influenced by pornography, no older male role models to tell them to respect women, acceptability of rape by peers, their own persecution leading them to not care... Many theories, all interesting, all possible. As far as I know there is little information around about younger (12-17, say) male perpetrators of sexual violence, but it is either happening more and more, or people are being open about it now where they didn't feel able to previously.

Either way, violence against women and girls must stop.

The title of this entry, by the way, is what DLA could stand for, and points to my addiction to old cookery books, which all seem to feature innumerable foods in aspic...

Web Address of the Week Award goes to...

JohnKerryIsADoucheBagButImVotingForHimAnyway.com (thanks Dooey)

Latin and Ludicrosity

Billy has linked to my last post in which he especially liked the Latin phrase Quidquid latine dictum sit altum viditur.

I, however, especially liked that his blog entry began, the best thing I've read...
...in the last 24 hours was over at the incurable hippie's page.... Yep, massage my ego, it'll always work!!

The bizarre tale of the boy who used internet to plot his own murder is indeed bizarre and poses many more questions than it answers...

He pretended to be the secret services to convince a slightly older boy to kill him as an initiation. He was stabbed and blamed muggers. It came out he had arranged it himself. Apparently he is the first person to ever be convicted of inciting their own murder.

But WHY?? That's what the article doesn't answer!

The BBC calls it outright a deliberate suicide attempt and claims that the boy who was stabbed (and incited the stabbing) was in love with the boy who stabbed him.

SZNews tells us more about the events which preceded the stabbing, which seem increasingly absurd the more I read:

Over a nine-month period before the attempted murder, John began presenting himself as a 16-year-old girl in search of a cyber relationship, then ¡°introduced¡± himself as the girl¡¯s step-brother. John and Mark then physically met, as did their parents, but in the chatroom John introduced increasingly far-fetched characters, including another boy who ¡°stalked¡± John and supposedly killed his girlfriend. Another of the characters was then fictitiously killed off, leaving only Mark, John and the stalker. Other characters emerged and were killed off, one even came back from the dead.

Other links also point out that the older boy was being offered sex as a reward, from the fictitious female recruiter for the secver service, as well as the gun, money, and meeting with the prime minister the Guardian reported.

Curiouser and curiouser... I suspect we will never know the full story, but involving someone else in your own suicide bid is too, too cruel.

There are 2 rules to being a success in life: 1. Never give out all the information.

Quidquid latine dictum sit altum viditur
- "That which is said in Latin sounds profound."

In 1994,Los Angeles Police arrested a man for dressing up as the Grim Reaper - complete with scythe - and standing outside the windows of old peoples' homes and staring in.

In 1978, in between Manchester City winning one game and their next there had been 3 Popes.

A woman with a PhD can't change her name (such as when she gets married) without losing her PhD. Because it's awarded only to one name!

Where does your lap go when you stand up?

If all the cars in the UK were put end to end it would probably be a typical bank holiday.

Tmesis is the only word in English starting "tm" and means one word within another. Fanbloomintastic.

In a crash at Silverstone a driver called David Purley survived a deceleration from 108mph to 0 in 66cm (26 inches). He endured 179.8g (G-Force) and suffered from 29 fractures, 3 dislocations and six heart stoppages.

The best cure for seasickness, ever... Sit under a tree.

The term "devil's advocate" comes from the Roman Catholic church. When deciding if someone should be sainted, a devil's advocate is always appointed to give an alternative view.

The human small intestine if straightened out and measured with a ruler would no longer work properly.

The phrase "It's not over until the fat lady sings" is actually a mis-quote. The correct phrase is "It's not over until the fat lady sinks" and has its origins in the game of billiards. The black eight ball was commonly referred to as the "fat lady" so no matter how bad the game was for a competitor it wasn't over until the "fat lady" sank.

panta Hellenici estin emoy is greek for "It's all Greek to me"

A cubic mile of fog is made up of less than a gallon of water

In an average lifetime there will be over 50 000 images of you on photos you'll never see.

if u didn't have a thumb the bottom of your butty would fall off

Did you know that dolphins are so intelligent that within only a few weeks of captivity they can train Americans to stand at the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

The reason it's so windy in this country is cos of those big windfarms all over the countryside. Total waste of electricity if you ask me...

The Simpsons are just drawings.

Pushing a fifty pence piece into plasticine then filling the imprint with water and freezing it creates ice fifites. These can then be usen in electricity meters and when the temperature rises hey presto the 'evidence' disappears.

I used to think my brain was my favourite part of my body... then I realised what was making me think that!

silly, true, false, all from I Want One of Those. Hehehehe.

Incidentally, if you're feeling rich - this pin clock is very, very cool!

Fabulous UK free stuff message board btw :)

Forwardtrack seems a really interesting project, with a growing beta petition. The idea is

designed to promote on-line activism. The system tracks and maps the diffusion of email forwards, political calls-to-action, and petitions. Our goal is to help people understand decentralized networks and see the power of "6 degrees of separation." ForwardTrack technology helps prove that one person can make a difference.

Unfortunately you need a US zip code to sign the Assault Weapons Ban petition so I can't participate in this test, but I will follow the project with much interest.

Stop deforestation and intimidation of local communities for palm oil - Email Deutsche Bank.

Bye for now :)

UKIP - BNP in Blazers? Joan Collins joins them...

Joan Collins, it seems, is supporting Kilroy and the scary UK Independence Party, which I have already discussed in those entries linked there.

Kilroy talks of Joan Collins as a role model for women (oh yeah, make up and fashion are, like, soooo liberating...) and such. He admits she has never bothered to vote before and he said he understood her views when she said in a national newspaper that she had nothing to discuss with a citizen of Slovakia after talking about the weather. Nice!

So, the Dynasty star is supporting the UKIP... A Guardian article today talks of the UKIP in terms of basically being a more upper class version of the racist BNP, and from what I know, this seems to be true.

The cover of UKIP's manifesto depicts three nappy-clad babies, adding: 'This is their country - make sure it stays that way.'

The influx of immigrants 'adds considerably to our problems, increasing social tensions', it adds: 'We cannot sustain this increase, which compares with a city the size of Cambridge coming into Britain every six months.'

and

Under the headline 'Immigration soaring' , a cartoon depicts 'overcrowded Britain', a shanty-town jumble of houses: across the sea, streams of eastern European immigrants pour into an entrance labelled 'Channel Funnel'. Inside, the leaflet adds: 'At last! A non-racist party that takes a firm line on immigration.'

These all come from today's Guardian which thankfully speaks some sense, in pointing out the inherent racism and xenophobia within the UKIP's policies and campaigns.

Like the BNP, it is unpalatable racism under a thin veil of acceptability (note the continued criticism of enforced political correctness from them both at times, as a really awful thing that stops people being truthful).

But Robert and Joan, Kilroy and Collins, seem to be endorsing it wholeheartedly, and with comments like Joan Collins' I do feel that my country - I am English - is losing a lot of what I grew up with what can you expect?

You know Joan, change is ok... it's good, even. I like the changes brought to this country by multiculturalism and I will support it all the way.

And given that Robert Kilroy-Silk apparently has a house in Spain, and Joan Collins lives in France, you do have to wonder what the hell they're talking about...

pay attention...

PARENTAL

ADVISORY

INCURABLE_HIPPIE CONTAINS EXPLICIT LYRICS

Username:

From Go-Quiz.com

don't do patriotism...

I	Influential
N	Naive
C	Comical
U	Useful
R	Radiant
A	Arty
B	Brainy
L	Lively
E	Eccentric
-
H	Haunting
I	Innocent
P	Patriotic
P	Playful
I	Important
E	Explosive

Name / Username:

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

Patriotic?? I think not!

First job: teaching piano and flute
First screen name: fra95pjw
First funeral: Auntie Rene
First piercing/tattoo: ears when i was 16
First credit card: barclaycard when i was 18 or 19, at uni
First Kiss: hehehe
First one that mattered: hehehehehehe
First love: G.O. (wouldn't want her to google her name, as let's face it, we all do from time to time, and find herself here...!)
First enemy: the scary green woman on rod hull and emu
First big trip: rome age 7
First concert: lots of classical / orchestral ones always. otherwise, probably tansads in the mill at the pier age 16 or so
First musician you remember hearing in your house: jazz jazz jazz
Last car ride: erm...? taxi home from respite care?
Last kiss: last saturday
Last library book checked out: a book about endometriosis
Last movie watched: buena vista social club
Last beverage drank: pepsi max
Last food consumed: a co-op chocolate truffle
Last phone call: N, childhood friend :)
Last time showered: in respite care in the week. don't have a shower here.
Last CD played: beatles no 1s
Last annoyance: spam in my email
Last soda drank: pepsi max
Last ice cream eaten: it's been many years :( - ice cream makes me ill :((
Last time scolded: only by myself i think
Last website visited: becksydee's LJ where i got this from.

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Googlism for: hippie

hippie is watching you
hippie is not a matter of dress
hippie is someone who does not own anything
hippie is a matter of accepting a universal belief system that transcends the social
hippie is more about caring for others
hippie is arrested again
hippie is going to post a picture of himself
hippie is a c++ implementation of the famous alice
hippie is the best html editor i have used
hippie is overwriting itself
hippie is in het park 2
hippie is some one that respects the earth and doesn't harm but gives love
hippie is not confined to any age group
hippie is someone who believes in peace
hippie is not affliated with house the homeless or capitol area homeless
hippie is in the church' from intruding when retrieving 'the hippie is in the park' subjects could suppress facts associated
hippie is in the park
hippie is a program that simulates a natural conversation
hippie is an authorized ammp dealer
hippie is an html editor that allows users to create sophisticated html pages for their personal and business web pages site
hippie is not just long hair and the looks or acid
hippie is not just a teenage thing
hippie is near
hippie is also an end user
hippie is not just the way you look or dress
hippie is anyone whos adventurous and curious spirit is exceeded by thier open mind
hippie is "higher" than it is wide
hippie is connected to the following things
hippie is connected to because
hippie is for the open discussion of all matters relating to the hippie counterculture from the 60s to the present
hippie is a prototype of a nomadic information system
hippie is spinning
hippie is defined as a member of a loosely knit
hippie is ready for experimentation
hippie is not out to make a profit or to line our pockets donations may be tax deductible
hippie is a grass roots not for profit entity
hippie is a proud member of the
hippie is defeated your peace is dead hippie is defeated your love is dead nasty
hippie is like that?
hippie is the "retro hippie"
hippie is a total & hopeless romantic
hippie is "dr
hippie is likewise thoughtful
hippie is said to have been a drop
hippie is detrimental to the work that earth first
hippie is the same size as four hippie buddies
hippie is a 60?s themed umbrella complete with bell
hippie is a column featuring information and opinion on social
hippie is in the parade for narcotics trafficking
hippie is a matter of accepting a belief system which transcends the social
hippie is a text based html editor with a built in internet explorer preview pane
hippie is in the park the hippie is in the church the priest is in the
hippie is played by brandon dewilde
hippie is a modern day shaman
hippie is holding his cup of coffee up and studying it
hippie is
hippie is not responsible for the privacy practices or the content of such web sites
hippie is nothing to be ashamed of
hippie is the next best thing and there are more drugs
hippie is a surprise star in bookstore sales
hippie is the only truly user
hippie is a fantastic html editor that shows you a real
hippie is/was
hippie is bad and they say that if you wear hippie clothes it means that you take drugs and that you smoke
hippie is just be
hippie is having no attachments
hippie is screaming
hippie is flying over the mountains when all of a sudden there is a
hippie is weggevlucht naar het strand
hippie is a phase of life

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There, you know a bit more about me now :)

ChainBlogging: Carnivores and Herbivores

I used to be vegetarian. I was for 11 years, followed by a 10 month stint as a vegan. And yes, I was one of those probably annoying militant varieties...

I was around 12 years old and creating a magazine as an English project at school, and many of my articles were around animal rights issues. The more information I found on these issues, the more horrified I was - around fur coats, animal testing for medical, household and cosmetic purposes, and the more I realised that I couldn't eat these things with a clear conscience any more.

Of course, organisations who focused around these issues were more than happy to provide me with emotive and horrifying photos of distressed and dead animals to prove their point ;)

But yeah, I stuck with it. Myself and a few friends remained veggie, others phased in and out of it, but apart from a brief-ish 6 month or so period of eating meat again after about 7 years, I stuck fiercely to not eating "anything that used to have a face" and defending myself in doing such.

I think I was worse as an early teen vegetarian, in terms of lecturing the people around me about the dead animals on their dinner plates, though undoubtedly some of this continued.

When I went to uni I found myself in the rare situation where I was surrounded by more vegetarians and vegans than I was meat-eaters, so it was certainly a norm to eat no meat, and I stopped even realising that it wasn't a majority sport.

Moving to France where the sheer amounts of blood which pour out of every burger reminds you of the fact that it used to be a living thing reaffirmed my original reasons for becoming veggie, and I returned to it with even increased gusto.

2 or 3 years later I read about the existence of something called a rape rack used on dairy farms, and my attention was also drawn to the facts that humans are the only mammal which drinks another species' milk, and indeed that cows' milk is designed for baby cows, not adult humans. Not to mention the hormones and antibiotics that non-organic cows' milk must be full of.

I just couldn't eat dairy products any more.

I did ten months as a vegan, and contrary to many people's experiences, I didn't find it difficult. I occasionally missed cheese, but really it was a non-issue. It was easy. The only problem was that my depression at the time meant that I wasn't planning my eating well, or varying my food intake enough.

I truly, honestly believe that it is possible to live well on a healthy vegan diet, however I also believe that it takes a lot more planning, preparation and thought than most diets. At that period in my life I had no energy to plan, prepare or even think about my diet, and while I was quite happy living on marmite on toast, and I do believe that marmite is the only natural way a vegan can get vitamin B12 naturally.

However, after 10 or so months of this, my body decided otherwise. One day, I was walking past the sandwich shop and noticed their sign saying they had hot chicken and stuffing sandwiches...

Months, or even years, of protein deficiency took over, and I had to have chicken. There was no choice or decision involved in any of this - I needed chicken like you might need water in a desert, and for weeks it was all I ate. I couldn't stop!

That was, what, 3 years ago maybe, and I still eat meat. Yep, dead animals, things that used to have faces, I eat it. I like to think that my 11-12 years of abstaining from previously living things saved a certain number of animals, so the karma of this won't be too bad, but to be honest, nowadays I enjoy it.

I do believe that I will turn vegetarian again - maybe even vegan. I did consider becoming a meat-eating vegan for a while - still eating meat but still kinda horrified by the idea of milk - but it never happened.

For now, I eat meat, I like it, and if I am going to be veggie again it shouldn't have to be a battle. Life is hard enough without creating my own obstacles.

I managed vegetarianism for a long period of time because I wanted to do it. If I'm only half-hearted now it wouldn't work out, it would feel punishing, and I'd resent it.

Apparently it's National Vegetarian Week right now...

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This is part of a chain of posts linked together by word association. The previous link in the chain was here. If you want to write another link here's what to do: Find a word, phrase or theme from this post to inspire your own and go and write it. It's that simple. Try not to write something that's similar to this post. That way the subject of the posts along the chain will vary. E.g. if I write about going to the doctor's, then don't talk about the last time you were ill, instead describe how you used to play Doctors and Nurses with the girl next door. Get the idea? Your post can be in any style you want. Copy this paragraph and tack it onto the end of your post, updating the link to point here, then leave a comment here that points to your new post.

Cartoons 

One of my favourite digital camera games... 

Me me me me me

I've been quiet for a few days. Partly general misery. Partly going into respite care. Partly having nothing to say about anything.

But I'm now out of respite care, still fairly miserable, but starting to have things to say again :)

Respite care is one of the few places I ever watch television. I can't get over how immensely more disturbing the news is with moving images. I lived for 25 or so years watching the news, then 18 months without has turned me into... well, I'm not sure what:

an oversensitive person? I don't think so... I mean, I am oversensitive, but I don't think it is inherently oversensitive to be upset at seeing films of dead bodies and bombs

a more easily shocked person? Maybe...

a less accepting of horrific things person? I like to think I was never accepting of horrific things, but maybe I'm now less accepting of witnessing them.

*Sigh*

I did some more card making yesterday. I really enjoyed it! And am as pleased as I ever would be with the results... I'm not that creative, but if I do this stuff for fun, when I'm in the mood, I find it relaxing, and it means I have 4, yes FOUR cards ready for any approaching birthdays or card-requiring activities.

I like pretty things :D

Who Gives a Shit?

London shortlisted for Olympic bid is what the radio news has been telling me all day.

Who gives a shit? This country seems to spend half its time trying to get shortlisted, an almost equal amount of time trying to get chosen, and a small (but essential) amount of time not ever being chosen, and then the whole rigmarole starts again.

I very much doubt we'll win the bid this time. We never do. We will waste £millions on pretty pictures and such and we won't be picked. And whether we do or not, I don't care. I don't think I know anyone who does.

And a man has been arrested for impersonating a police officer at Windsor Castle. Again, who gives a shit?

No members of the Royal Family were at the castle at the time and police say the pair, both in their 30s, did not breach security.

Ok, so not only do I not care, but it seems to be a non-story as well. There were no royals there (yawn), and this guy and a woman with him were in a public area... Why is this on the news?

And why are the royals so protected? What makes them any more important than me? Or you? Why?!

However, I do give a shit about the gay weddings stuff in Massachussetts. Here is a fabulous BBC photo report on the story, with a special appearance from the evil website people (note no link, don't want to encourage them).

A peace rally in Israel provokes some moving photographs too, and the Baghdad bomb attack photographs really show me more than I can deal with seeing.

Since I got rid of my television nearly 18 months ago, I feel the impact of visual images of such things much more strongly. Now that I get the vast majority of my news on the radio and am not bombarded daily with images of disasters, I find these types of images much more powerful and disturbing than I ever have before.

Protest photos are important, I think, to remind us that there are many millions of us who despair at the state of the world, and who are willing to shout, dance, cry, write and be all-roundly creative to change things. Photos from the Wall Must Fall demo last Saturday are inspiring and beautiful.

Not for the first time in his life, it seems Peter Tatchell was causing controversy. I have to admit to some sympathy for him on this one. Pretending that the Palestinian authorities are perfect is inappropriate if it's not true, and it is totally ok to stand up for Palestinians against their occupiers, while at the same time pointing out discrimination which occurs within its own communities. The two are not mutually exclusive or contradictory.

It's like there is sometimes an unspoken feeling within the anti-war communities that there must be no horror from anything done by Iraqis or Palestinians, say, because they are fighting the occupations of their territories / countries, and thus are justified. However, while I understand the reasoning and hatred and fear and bitterness behind any such actions, I still maintain the right to feel horrified at a man being beheaded, for instance.

It's all complicated. I know where they are coming from, and I support the determination for freedom, but I am essentially a pacifist and I want the fighting, all the fighting, to stop.

It hurts my soul.

Alarmed?? Yes!

Yes I am alarmed to look at my funky new list of referers to this blog and find that incurable hippie's comes 5th in the google results for "keep britain for the british"... argh! That was thanks to this entry in which I ranted about Kilroy standing as a UK Independence Party candidate in the forthcoming European elections.

I was secretly pleased to also come up on the results list of google searches for Charnock Richard Cycles which is the place of the best radio jingle ever, from my youth listening to Rock FM which I reminisced about in April. Awww.

I love being able to see my referrers just down there on the right hand side of the page. I think it will become a very interesting pastime!!

This Church of Critical Thinking entry about Catholicism and transubstantiation will make any Recovering Catholic smile and is informative for anyone who wants to have the "yes it is Jesus's actual body and blood, not just representative of it" stuff clarified.

It then goes on to look at the influence of the Catholic church on Amerikan politics, which is very, very interesting and contained stuff certainly new to me.

Mother Doesn't Want a Dog is a cute poem from Snowball which is worth a read, especially if, like me, your mum wouldn't allow you pets as a child!

I hadn't heard of Margaret Keane until recently, but I find her work totally absorbing. Both beautiful and disturbing, and I'm glad I was pointed in her direction.

An email update I just received has informed me that the (scary) Christian Institute are opposing a bill to ban smacking children. That's right, you read it correctly. They think hitting children is good, it seems. They are also complaining about the proposed civil partnership laws, allowing same-sex couples to register their partnerships, on the basis that siblings, and disabled people and their carers could not register theirs... Seems a bit spurious to me.

They give helpful examples, like:

A 60-year-old homosexual man picks up a 22-year-old in a gay bar. Shortly afterwards the 22-year-old moves in to the older man’s London home which has been in his family for generations. Within a month the two have entered into a civil partnership. The older man dies three months later and the 22-year-old inherits the home. Because of the partnership, he pays no inheritance tax.

What can you say to that then? Stone them! Stone them all!

And I'm sure they didn't intend the gay men cake decoration to be cute, but it really is!!

14/5 or 5/14 or just my birthday yesterday :)

Irene Stuber runs an incredible website at undelete.org all about undeleting women from his/herstory.

The Women of Achievement section of her website tells me some significant events around women's herstory which have occurred on May 14th, my birthday. I especially like that on May 14th 1918, the right to vote and stand for political office for all women of the Canadian Province was validated.

Another site tells me that Thomas Gainsborough and Cate Blanchett share my birthday, and elsewhere I find that the month of May is...

• Asian Pacific American Heritage Month

On May 7, 1990, President George Bush signed a proclamation declaring May to be Asian Pacific American Heritage Month, recognizing the first Japanese immigrants arriving in the United States on May 7, 1843.


• Better Hearing and Speech Month



• Better Sleep Month



• Egg Month (National)



• Mental Health Awareness Month



• Huntington's Disease Awareness Month



• Neurofibromatosis Awareness Month (World)



• Older Americans Month



• Physical Fitness & Sports Month (National, US)



• Teacher Appreciation Month



• Trauma Awareness Month (National)

though these, of course, are very US-centric.

And how can I not follow a link to Favo(u)rite resources for Catholic homeschoolers, which tells me that 14th May is the Feast of St. Matthias (d. 65) Apostle and Martyr, and birthday of Gabriel Fahrenheit (1686) German scientist.

I guess of all that I'm most inspired by Canadian women getting the vote, 59 years (I think!) before the date I was born.

I had a lovely day yesterday with friends and beer and the sun was shining :) I'm now 27...

Oly-hay Ible-bay

Oly-hay Ible-bay is the official title of The Bible in Pig Latin, which is worth a look or two.

And Britain's Favourite Flowers from the Guardian is a bit of eye candy which seems rarer and rarer in the days of more and more horror being recorded for posterity and shared. No links to that because I can't stand to see any more of it.

And if you want a proper giggle, try We Like tha Moon. Leaving it running through several times almost guarantees insanity.

Sorry it's not so inspired today. I am tired, stressed and miserable.

Independence, Insults and Inherent Idiocy

I was, for some reason, stunned to read thatKilroy will become a UK Independence Party candidate in the forthcoming elections.

The BBC gives a fair summary of the whole Kilroy issue, but basically, he was an MP in the Labour Party, then became a TV talk-show host, apparently to provide a British equivalent of Oprah...

He was on at 9am on a weekday and was the mainstay of morning viewing for kids on half term, and uni students. Mainly, though, cos the better TV hadn't started yet... If you wanted an early morning row, usually over street muggings and such, you tuned into BBC 1, until you either got insanely irritated, or until Trisha started at - I think - half past.

Kilroy was characterised by beginning with a mini speech by the man himself, a fairly in-depth story from one or two audience members, then a discussion, leading to anarchy in the audience of often over-60s. Though the programme may have usually started with a seemingly sympathetic look at someone's situation, it soon descended into right-wing diatribes, almost always against people on the dole, single mums, or drug users.

Incredibly moralistic, his meagre attempts to show himself as an objective interviewer proved futile as his own moral agenda became clearly visible.

Anyway, earlier this year, many grinned when he well and truly dropped himself in it by launching into an anti-Arab racist rant entitled, "We owe Arabs nothing".

I'm not going to reproduce it here, because that kind of attitude already has too much webspace, but you can imagine, I'm sure. Anyway, he got bollocked and eventually the BBC suspended the show.

Soooooo that was January this year, and now he's standing for the UK Independence Party it seems. I don't know much about this party, but what I know and what I read on their site tells me that they are essentially very anti-Europe, and full of the whole "keep britain for the british" stuff that I hate.

He sounds like, umm, an ideal candidate :-/

Racist fucker.

The Terrifying Tale of the Missing Beeps

I have to admit to a certain scepticism when my source informed me of the mysterious disappearance of the middle two beeps before the ten o'clock news. I challenged her certainty that it had been the middle two beeps specifically which were absent, suggesting that it was equally likely to have been, for instance, 1 and 3, say, which were missing.

However i was quickly reminded of her inherent superiority, on an intellectual plane, to not only myself but the majority of the thinking world. She patiently explained that there had been 2 beeps, then a gap, then the final 2.

My Nancy Drew-like sleuthing powers kicked in and i surmised that we were almost certainly dealing with a kidnapping. The most obvious suspects were, of course, the notorious Tory Rebel terrorist cell.

This was certainly a typical, though more hard-hitting than we are accustomed to from them, attempt to throw those liberal lefty radio 4 listeners right off course. The missing beeps, in combination with the recently broken quarter chimes on big ben, was clearly a tactic intended to scare the wishy washy world into submission.

And it was working.

I witnessed a grown man squaring his jaw as he had his long liberal locks shorn, a social worker leaving work early to go to the British Legion, and a well-known lefty campaigner joining... the Labour Party.

With such devastation around us within moments of the affront of the missing beeps, the Tory Rebel terrorist campaign was proving to be not only severe and heartless, but also effective. If we didn't find the beeps and restore them to their rightful slot before the 11 o'clock news all hell would, without a doubt, break loose.

Has to be seen - genius

Ok, I know I've only just posted and it's already all disjointed and now I'm adding something else under a separate entry and it's all very bad blogiquette, but I couldn't let you leave without readingthis amazing entry from The Church of Critical Thinking

Mish-Mash

The Infected Papercut led me to a list of 100 Mistakes for the President to Choose From, apparently in response to a press conference where dubya was asked to name a mistake he had made, and amazingly he couldn't.

There's nothing on there you won't have heard before, but it can be handy to have a whole lot of references on the one page.

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I started looking for short free online courses, and decided to list some random ones here. I was quite surprised by the variety (i.e. they're not all beginners' Spanish). However, don't expect too much. Many of these places offer a free introductory lesson in an attempt to then sell you the rest of the course, others are courses written to promote a product, and yet others are so surrounded by adverts it's hard to keep track of what you're supposed to be there to do.

There are a few, however, which seem to be there for the good of humankind, which can only be a good thing. However, I guess the 7 million free Bible study online courses I found would argue that they were there for that purpose... I have not listed those here incidentally!

Anyway, click away if there's anything that catches your fancy, just bear in mind my warnings above.

Free online photography courses

Free Education on the Internet

Free Online Courses from the University of Washington

Web Building Tutorials

A Jazz Improvisation Primer

Free online self help courses

Bookbinding, a tutorial

BBC Learning - Online Courses

Free Stop Panic Attacks course

Judaism and Vegetarianism

Ukrainian Language for Beginners

Digital Camera and Digital Photography Courses

W3Schools - online web tutorials


Hmmm you always come across something you don't quite expect when you're doing an apparently straight-forward search...

And... did you ever want to download the internet?!

---

Mixed bag today it seems...

---

Utinam barbari spatium proprium tuum invadant!
"May barbarians invade your personal
space!"
You are highly confrontational and possibly in a
bad mood. You would have sworn in this quiz,
if I had made it an option.


Which Weird Latin Phrase Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

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Gay Bear


Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Sheep and Shit-Stirrers

I have finally got round to finding a photo of theHermit sheep 'Shrek' shorn of 6-year-old woolly fleece. Well, ok, that makes me sound proactive when in fact someone sent me the link, but, you know, I clicked on it.

The sheep in question looked totally different to how I'd imagined him, and I can kinda see myself emerging looking something like that after 6 years of self-imposed solitude as a hermit as well. All enclosed and protected by a huge ball of fuzz. So, so tempting.

It seems the government has had another marvellous idea - to charge failed asylum seekers for healthcare. Not only is this totally outrageous and denying the necessary health care many people need, but also I can't imagine the money saved would be anything other than negligible. I could actually even imagine that it could end up more expensive if they have to treat people as emergencies, when conditions which could have been easily managed earlier on have now become more dangerous or severe.

It's just racist shit, pure and simple. The government is trying to appeal to and placate the fascists (and Tories by showing how tough they are being on these scary foreigners, but in fact, the only reason asylum seekers have become a big issue here is because the government and the tabloids have made them that. It's a self-perpetuating situation which has led to the evil BNP gaining seats and credibility, and people getting tougher and tougher.

The facts are that asylum seekers are here to escape extreme situations in which they would be killed or tortured. They have left their homes, often their families, friends, possessions, jobs and communities to do this. They arrive elsewhere and are forced to live in poor housing, in abject poverty, and as if that was not all horrific enough, but then they also have to face bigotry, racism and fascist attitudes coming from the media, the government, and certain people around them.

I cling onto the hope that it is a minority of people who truly hold negative opinions about asylum seekers. But one big problem is that for anyone who is undecided or not so knowledgeable on the issues, the papers and government's attitudes and propaganda can easily push someone into believing that asylum seekers are people to be feared, to be hated, and to be "sent home" at all costs.

No borders!!

And, for the hamster feature of the day, check out this cool site I found where you can upload photos of your own hamsters and gerbils and you can find Pierrot / Nepenthe, Heidi and Clara.

Christianity, Cutting and Corn Dogs

When I come across a link entitled Weblog: Is Christianity to Blame for Teen Self-Mutilation?, it is the kind of thing I cannot often resist reading. When I then realise that the blog is written by Christianity Today I certainly cannot resist!

It is written in response to a Guardian article which turns out to be about self harm generally in young people, about the worryingly younger ages of children who are self harming, and such. The section about which the Christianity Today blog is referring to is as follows:

"Images of self-harm are all around us, particularly in religious iconography. Christianity is founded on the notion that Christ suffered for the world's sins and there have been sects which practiced self-flagellation and mutilation throughout history. Pain and the spilling of our own blood are seen as ways of cleansing ourselves. Likewise, when teenagers cut themselves they often say it is a release, a way of punishing themselves or others."

Now, while I would never say that Christianity or Catholicism have caused my self harm, for life is never so simplistic, I will say that the doctrine of punishing your body, of mind-pleasure being superior to bodily-pleasure, of overriding your body's needs, and of overriding pain for the sake of spiritual development, have all contributed to a state of mind in myself where self harm seems not only acceptable, but even kinda the best thing to do, with regards to a Catholic lifestyle.

Not logically, of course, but in that place where your head can take you, especially if that head is a Roman Catholic one.

But unfortunately, the above weblog's intelligent response to the debate was "Whatever" so I'm not much wiser on the other side of the argument.

"What does the Bible say about body piercing?" was an equally intriguing link, with almost laughable prescriptive and out-of-context quotations from Leviticus et al, and references to the evil background of body piercings and tattoos in (oooh) witchcraft and false religions (sic)...

Helpful comments such as, "Some even have this done on unspeakable parts of their bodies. These are abnormal and unnatural." and "Because the youth of our day are despising and rebelling against their parents this is very displeasing to the Lord as one of the Ten Commandments in the Bible is to honor our parents" really do not contribute much to the debate of the rights and wrongs of body piercing / adornment / whatever.

And is anyone surprised by this tirade of contradiction and woman-hating...?

"It is a different matter when women wear pierced earrings as a custom, without the rebellion and pride attached to it. However, this could even be wrong if women are filled with vanity and pride over their appearance. Remember God looks at our heart attitudes. In fact, the Bible speaks of a generation of women that will be alive at the coming of the Lord that will be judged severely for their flirting and their haughtiness."

I think not...

Unfortunately it is what we have come to expect from Christianity. I don't care what people do or don't believe in, but really, if you are going to have the backing of something influential (for right or wrong) like Christianity, use it for *good*. Use it to feed starving people or to banish oppression. Analysing the differences between pierced earrings in respectable women, compared to pierced earrings in women who are doing it to rebel, and condemning anyone and everyone over minutiae, just makes most people raise an eyebrow and walk on.

And, in the spirit of totally lowering the tone of intellectual discussion, meet corndog.

adopt your own virtual pet!

Consider the bandwagon truly leapt upon ;)

BBC - Ouch! - Columnists

As some of you know, I love BBC Ouch website - link at the side for instance, and I was just reading through the weekly newsletter and about to link to a fabulous article about Evil Mat wanting to take over Mat's interviews as an actor with journalists who ask stupid, offensive and just plain rude questions about his disability.

So yeah, I was about to do that and I was still working my way through the newsletter when I came across this bloglist on their site, listing blogs they found which look at disability issues, and bloody hell fire, there is little old me!!

Am I mad to be so totally excited?! Well, actually, we already know I'm mad, so I will just say...

I am so totally excited

He he he he he! And I really already had started this entry with the Evil Mat link before I'd got as far as the bloglist page!!!!!!

In any case, this is how they described my blog:

This UK blogger, who has a number of interesting entries on mental health topics (and has the good sense to link to Crippled Monkey), describes herself as a "mad, in debt, radical, angry, pacifist, warrior, flower-power chick ..."

Ok I will stop being so sycophantic and stuff now, just so totally excited!!

I also love radio 4 with an undoubtedly inappropriate passion. I love that the broken quarter bell of Big Ben is being treated, quite rightly, as the biggest crisis to hit Britain so far this century... What will the world be like now with a whole week of beeps instead of chimes at 6pm and midnight...?

Yesterday upon the stair

I met a man who wasn't there / he wasn't there again today / I wish I wish he'd go away

Hatred, Holiness and Hamsters

A SocietyGuardian article today tells of a CAB report that people with mental illness face widespread discrimination. This comes as no surprise, and the article and the report make depressing and not very surprising reading. On the one hand it's good to have statistics like these to back up arguments and make your point, on the other, of course it would be better if this was never the situation so statistics weren't necessary.

Holy Disorders is also an article well worth reading, comparing "modern" anorexia with the starvation and self injurious behaviours of female saints throughout history. And of course, race training for all mental health staff can only be a good idea. Follow it up with awareness of women's and LGB issues and we might start getting somewhere...

On what was supposed to be a *nicer* point, here are some photos of my hamsters. It was supposed to be a nicer point in a chilled, cute way. In fact it was stressful in a *you can't do tables in html using only instinct* way. I like things to be instinctual, hence being a music- and language-type. In any case, at some point I will actually learn how to do them and re-do the page. For now, hopefully their cuteness will take precedence over the crappy page layout, font, colours etc. etc. etc.

Hmmm...

Burlap, Blogs and Boredom

Billy "Smiles" Evans


I am a very sick little boy. My mother is typing this for me, because I can't. She is crying. Don't cry, Mommy! Mommy is always sad, but she says it's not my fault. I asked her if it was God's fault, but she didn't answer, and only started crying harder, so I don't ask her that anymore. The reason she is so sad is that I'm so sick. I was born without a body. It doesn't hurt, except when I go to sleep.
The doctors gave me an artificial body. My body is a burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that was the best they could do on account of us havin' no money or insurance. I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money. Mommy doesn't work because she said employers don't hire crying people. I said, "Don't cry, Mommy," and she hugged my burlap body. Mommy always gives me hugs, even though she's allergic to burlap, and it chafes her real bad.

I hope you will help me. You can help me if you forward this e-mail. Dr. Johansen said if you foward this e-mail then Bill Gates will team up with AOL and do a survey with NASA. Then the astronauts will collect prayers from school children all over America and take them up to space so that the angels can hear them better. Then they will go to the Pope, and he will take up a collection in church and send the money to the doctors. The doctors could help me better then.

Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Or maybe just use my lungs and heart, when the doctors make them. The doctors said that every time you foward this letter, the astronauts can take another prayer to the angels. Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and I want a body. I don't want my leaves to rot before I turn 10.

If you don't foward this e-mail, that's OK. Mommy says you're a mean heartless person who doesn't care about a poor little boy with only a head. She says that she hopes that you stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden stomach. What kind of wretched person are you that you can't take five lousy minutes to forward this to all your friends so that they can feel guilt and shame for the rest of their day, and then maybe help a poor, bodiless nine-year-old boy?

Please help me. This really sucks. I try to be happy but it's hard. I wish

I had a puppy. I wish I could hold a puppy.

Thank You.
Billy 'Smiles' Evans,
The boy with just a head.
And a burlap sack for a body.


This is about as good as subverting the perceived power of chain letters as anything I've ever come across! Go, burlap boy!

I want to link to some of my friends' LJs and blogs. There are some Open Diaries too but not sure if they're secret so I won't yet.

Anyway for now I give you...

/drum roll/

faintpraise, Becksydee, Shy_Fae and Snowball.

/applause/

When I get round to it I will add a links section to the right to blogs I like - the best ones tend to be the ones you get to through following links from links and more links. You find a gem and have no idea how you got there.

There are some really impressive photography ones for instance. And very good social and political commentary from all over. And funny stuff too, of course, I'm not totally boring and serious.

Optical Illusions are always good to fill a few minutes of boredom.

Degrees and DJs

I got an Aegrotat Degree. That is the first definition I have ever come across of them. Not that I've especially looked, mainly through the shame / denial of the whole thing.

I shouldn't be ashamed, they say, because not only is it a full degree, but they are very rarely awarded because it is rare that someone's work is at a good enough standard to have guaranteed that they would have passed had they sat the final exams.

Hmmm.

I hate chain letters. I hate chain letters. I received one today and am angry about it. Not the email kind - they're bad enough, but this was a real, paper chain letter, making me feel it has even more power.

Yeah I know it's a stupid piece of paper, but that's not how it feels.

I am currently having a not-so-mentally-healthy reminiscence over Red Rose Rock FM as it used to be called.

Weirdly, it seems that Adele from Big Brother is now a DJ on there.

I remember Mike Toolan but really I was looking for (just worked out his name) Paul Jordan who, according to Digital Spy Forum, dotJournalism, Emap and many others, is now MD of Rock FM, though MediaUK says he is Head of News. I'm guessing that's out of date.

The Digital Spy Forum also mentioned Claire Anderson and Kev Seed, both of whom I remember.

97.4 Red Rose Rock FM from the Rocking Church at St. Pauls Square, to the Tower Of Power at Winter Hill across the Great North West

More rock, less talk

Buy a bike, buy a bike, get down to Charnock Richard Cycles. Buy a bike!

We're rocking the north west!

Charnock Richard cycles doesn't seem to have a website, but it was certainly worth linking to the google search results, as every single link to it seems to mention the ad jingle!

I have no idea where I was intending to go with that, but all that googling has taken me way off the track of whatever it may have been.

Bush, Lush and Personality Disorders

I can't decide whether this Personality Disorders poem is cute or offensive...

The world and the news are too depressing currently to comment on, so I will leave you with my latest poem :))

Lush and Bush

If George W. Bush
Ever visited Lush
I just know he would chill out so much

Poor countries he'd feed
He'd legalise weed
Following the footsteps of the Dutch.

With each bar of soap
He'd increase our hope
For a world with no fighting or war

All fresh and organic
He'd be the mechanic
Of justice, equality for all.

He'd melt in the bath
Enjoying the aftermath
Of all of his spending and giving

With a smile in his eyes
Amidst bubbles he lies
Knowing he just improved someone's living.

So go on, Georgie B,
Buy a bath bomb or three,
And help make the world a nice place

A refreshing quick shower
You'll use all your power
And abolish the nuclear arms race.

by me

Ann Widdecombe - Agony Aunt Extraordinaire

Buck up!

Manchester

I spent yesterday in Manchester with an old friend (in length of time we've been friends, rather than her age) and was quite shocked to see Manchester city centre nowadays.

Lots of glass and such buildings - very modern, whatever that means, striking, and almost certainly built for the 2002 Commonwealth Games which were held there.

I also couldn't help but notice the sheer number of designer and exceedingly expensive shops around. This could have just been representative of the area we spent time in, though we were pretty central which could suggest this is how the whole of the shopping centre is. Selfridges was large and impressive, though almost frightening in prices, and it was not alone amongst an an incredible array of capitalist blatancy.

That's not to say I didn't have fun or indeed indulge in the shopping experience. I left Whittards with Almond Amaretto and Irish Cream flavoured instant coffees, and chocolate milkshake stuff, which I hope will go well with my soya milk supplies.

I also spent a little too much on purty things in Paperchase which is an incredible shop indeed, and I could easily spend a year's wages (if indeed I got wages) in.

I couldn't, however, imagine what Manchester City Centre is like for those souls who live in Manchester but, as will be the case for the majority, don't have the income to do their regular shopping in a centre like this. Sure, I spotted a Mk One and other such bargainous shops, but to be surrounded by such oppressive extravagence and indulgence must be somewhat depressing.

I got the inescapable idea that, in catering for the many visitors which Manchester must get, Commonwealth Games or not, they have perhaps lost sight of their city's residents' needs. It was a fabulous place to visit and see, but if I lived there, with the minimal income I have, I would find going into the city centre a thoroughly depressing experience as it highlighted how little I have and how much some have, the huge gap and unfairness implied within that.

It had been quite a while since I'd visited Manchester, and I would certainly go again, though most likely next time I would avoid the uncomfortable crowds which are so inevitable on Easter Saturday in school holidays.

Incidentally, this must be the first Easter ever when I seem to have managed to not buy a single Easter Egg. Impressive.

Arsenal vs. Man United

I'm sitting here watching the game
And if I'm honest, it's quite lame
Apart from when United scored
Mostly I've just been quite bored.

Finally the game has ended
Feigning interest now suspended
Man United, in the lead,
To the final now succeed.

Arsenal must be quite frustrated
Thoughts of victory all abated.
It's taken over the TV
And is of no interest to me.

Even now the game has finished
Debate and woes are not diminished
They will discuss it now for ages
And fill up all the sports back pages.