Stollen: lumpy, dumpy, stumpy
1 hour ago
About me? Mad, disabled, in debt, feminist, radical, angry, pacifist, warrior, radio 4 listener, geek, flower-power chick... About Hippie blog? Ramblings, photos, fury, giggles and musings about love, peace, friendship, madness, happiness, the state of the world, my life, cool pics, my health and general ranting...
Watching him present the show - as he did for 23 years - sometimes felt like watching your dad dance at a wedding. Supremely confident yet squirmingly awkward, sensible suit and striped blazer topped off with a terrible tie, painful puns would tumble from his mouth, jokes and wordplay that you knew had never felt the touch of a professional script-writer, but had been thought up in the dressing room, and seemed like a terribly good idea at the time.Very, very true. Bless ya Mr Groovy Ties.
Dear Sir,
I am writing to thank you for bouncing the cheque with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, some three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the cheque, and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honour it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire salary, an arrangement which, I admit, has only been in place for eight years. You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account with $50 by way of penalty for the inconvenience I caused to your bank.
The rather unimaginatively named Large Blue butterfly [...] begins life as a normal caterpillar and the young larvae feed on wild thyme flowers.
From then on its life depends on its con trick. As each larva drops to the ground, it secretes a sticky sugary substance which is irresistible to ants.
The ants are tricked into thinking that the larva is a lost ant grub and take it into their underground colony.
But not any old ant will do, only large colonies of a single species of red ant - Myrnica sabuleti - can act as a suitable host.
An incredible phase in the caterpillar's life then begins where for 10 months it turns into a carnivore - eating the ant grubs while the hapless ants feed and care for it as one of their own.
The caterpillar pupates in the ant nest, finally emerging for a few brief days in the last stage of its remarkable life as a beautiful butterfly.
Changing farming techniques led to the decline of the red ant the butterfly depends on and in 1979 the Large Blue became extinct in Britain.
Mathew Oates, the National Trust's adviser on nature conservation, said: "Over the next few weeks and future summers we look forward to welcoming visitors at Collard Hill to come and see this rare and beautiful butterfly and understand its extraordinary life of deception."
Chinese companies responsible for wristbands worn by thousand of charity supporters [...] have been accused of indulging in forced labour and of paying less than the official minimum wage. An audit also discovered breaches of health and safety regulations.
[...]
An audit report on Fuzhou Xing Chun Trade Company, in Fujian province, said workers were paid below the local minimum hourly wage of 2.39 yuan (16p), to as low as 1.39 yuan (9p). They were insufficiently rewarded for overtime work, had no paid annual leave and suffered pay deductions for disciplinary reasons.
Valerie Black. There's a rumour that the ID card is dead, do the panellists mourn its potential demise?
[...]
DIMBLEBYGermaine Greer.
GREERWell now I'm the sort of person who loses things like ID cards [LAUGHTER]. It has occurred to me several times to want to ask why do I have to have all these bits of paper with pictures of my face on them when this is my face. Could you not put a stamp on me like an egg that says registered authentic image or person number and then they could put my concentration camp number after that. I don't - girls clothes have no pockets - have you noticed that - where are we going to put the bloody thing? I'm already carrying all kinds of credit cards and driving licences and god knows what in my bra, I'm going to end up with a library. [LAUGHTER AND CLAPPING] Now tell me that for all my bits of paper I would now have one bit of paper and they would stable that to my hide so I couldn't lose it, it would be waterproof, then it would be fine but failing that all I see is chaos and despair. I will never know where the bloody thing is. And the other thing about this country, I don't know if you've noticed, but people are always asking to see documents that they're not entitled to see - they want you to put your address on the back of cheques and all this kind of thing, they're not happy with your credit card, you've got to give them something else. Every Tom, Dick and Harry's going to ask to see your bloody ID card. And if it's a certain petrol station in East London they're going to run away, forge it and then bring it back to you saying thank you very much.
DAVIESI think we could help you with this problem Germaine. For visiting Australians or long term resident Australians we could have sort of boomerang shaped ones. [LAUGHTER]
GREERListen ...
DAVIESEasier to secrete around your person.
GREERDon't you joke about that, I mean at this moment it looks as if my permission to stay here indefinitely is about to be rescinded by this wonderful government, for the simple reason that I have a new passport and I'm going to have to bribe someone with £250 in order to get the stamp that is mine by right. Don't trust this government, I mean if they can think of a way of milking you for the ID card, we haven't talked about how much it's going to cost, then you'll be paying through the nose, it will be a blood stained little object. And if you're very, very poor you won't be able to afford to have one anyway.
DIMBLEBYSo to summarise you're against ID cards? [LAUGHTER AND CLAPPING
Will the fact that he is disabled allow him to put the boot in? Or rather, make bold changes that will confuse the now reduced number of back-benchers sufficiently enough to allow reforms through? Though Alistair Darling may have seemed politically incorrect with an attack on disabled people, and caused what some saw as a kneejerk rebellion, will it seem so bad if done by a disabled man?
My japanese name is 福田 (happy rice field) 菜摘 Natsumi (picks vegetables).
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