Well I never...

If each of the UK's 10 million office workers used one fewer staple a day, that could save 120 tonnes of steel a year.

Steel Woman.

100_0350
Originally uploaded by incurable_hippie.

Last year, about this time, I was very excited about the Steel Man outside Sheffield town hall. This year he has been joined by the Steel Woman.

I love Sheffield in Bloom :)

con·tra·dic·tion: Inconsistency; discrepancy.

Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD. - Leviticus 19:28

Oh my, oh my, oh my. I just did that thing that makes the internet the best thing ever in the world. You know, when you click on a link to a new page, then another link from there, then another from there, and you find yourself somewhere you never, ever thought was possible?

I followed a link to awful plastic surgery which led me to click on the link to a tattoo blog, which sounded interesting.

And then, then, they had a link to religioustattoos.net. Religious Tattoos dot net!!!! I was so excited, and with good reason! There are 17 Mary tattoos, 93 Jesus tattoos, 2 of the Last Supper and even 36 of the Holy Spirit!

I was getting all excited and working out who to email the link to when I spotted the ultimate webring... The Christian Tattoo Association. There is a whole Association!!

I'm not quite sure why this has entertained me so much. My status as a Recovering Catholic (it never quite goes away...), admiration for many arty tattoos, and the sheer campness of some of the images, combined with the 'hard'ness of having a tat at all...

I don't know, it seems inherently contradictory, the juxtaposition of picture of Our Lady... permanently inked with a needle in the arm. The juxtaposition of tattoos (cool, rebellious) with religion (not cool, often conforming). And the juxtaposition of me going Cool, tats and Yikes, a crucifix.

Leviticus 11:6-7 - The rabbit, though it chews the cud, does not have a split hoof; it is unclean for you. And the pig, though it has a split hoof completely divided, does not chew the cud; it is unclean for you.

Leviticus 11:10-12 - But all creatures in the seas or streams that do not have fins and scales - whether among all the swarming things or among all the other living creatures in the water - you are to detest. And since you are to detest them, you must not eat their meat and you must detest their carcasses. Anything living in the water that does not have fins and scales is to be detestable to you.

Leviticus 19:19 - Keep my decrees. Do not mate different kinds of animals. Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed. Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material.

Leviticus 19:27 - Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard.

Leviticus 19:28 - Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD.

Leviticus 21:5 - Priests must not shave their heads or shave off the edges of their beards or cut their bodies.

Art in the Park!

Fabulous stuff!

Light and Dark.

My gosh, lots to do and say.

Thanks for the thoughtful comments to my last entry. I am safe as yet, and I have made contact with most people I know in London, who are also safe. Won't be quite happy until I've contacted the last few though.

The whole thing is horrible. I wasn't in the least surprised when the news reports started coming through. I think we've been under no illusion that it would happen, it was just the when really that we didn't know.

As others have said, these days of instant information aren't always as informative as we might like. I heard an interruption to the radio programme I was listening to, at 9.30am, saying that due to a power surge, all the London underground stations had been closed. Then, at the 10 o'clock news an explosion on a bus was reported as well, and it became clear that this wasn't a power surge type of incident, but something more sinister and clearly co-ordinated.

Then, much as I was hearing live radio news, reading instantaneous reports on the internet, it was a terribly slow and confused process, because much as the information was being put out soon after it was learned, everyone was actually still trying to work out what on earth was going on, so we were getting lots of speculation and possiblys, as that is the reality of trying to work out what on earth is happening, while also broadcasting to keep people informed. But it was like some sort of horrible jigsaw with the pieces changing shape periodically.

Today it has come out that rather than the tube explosions being within 30 minutes of each other, that actually all three bombs went off in less than a minute.

There are many photos around of the aftermath of what happened. In particular, the first two photos here show how awful one of the situations looked.

----

Fact of the Day: It is estimated that the mental capacity of a 100 year old human with perfect memory could be represented by a computer with 10 to the power of 15 bits (one petabit). At the current rate of computer chip development, that figure can be reached in about 35 years. However, that represents just memory capacity, not the extremely complex processes of thought creation and emotions.

PostSecret of the Day: Stare / look closely.

Meme of the Day: "If, as you live your life, you find yourself mentally composing blog entries about it, post this exact same sentence in your weblog" (stolen from Dooey).

Meme of the Week: Ten Songs From the Year I Was Born
1. "Knowing Me, Knowing You" - ABBA
2. "When A Child Is Born" - Johnny Mathis
3. "Don't Cry For Me Argentina" - Julie Covington
4. "God Save the Queen" - The Sex Pistols
5. "I Feel Love" - Donna Summer
6. "I Don't Want To Talk About It/The First Cut Is The Deepest" - Rod Stewart
7. "The Name Of The Game" - ABBA
8. "Living Next Door To Alice" - Smokie
9. "Rockin' All Over The World" - Status Quo
10. "We Are The Champions" - Queen

(stolen from AAYOR)

----

I leave you with Never Forget, Tony.

What's Happening?

Apparently there are a series of explosions in London - whole tube system closed down, and an explosion on a double decker bus.

BBC News

Google News UK.

Edited to add:
11.14am: from BBC - Several people have been injured after explosions on the Underground network and a double-decker bus in London.
A police spokesman said there were "quite a large number of casualties" at Aldgate Tube Station.

And Scotland Yard confirmed one of several reports of explosions on buses in the city - in Tavistock Place - but said the cause was not yet known.

UK Home Secretary Charles Clarke said several explosions in central London had caused "terrible injuries".

"The health services are in support to deal with the terrible injuries that there have been," Clarke told reporters outside Downing Street.

Number 10 said it was "still unsure" whether the explosions were a terrorist attack and although casualties were reported, no further details were yet available.

Ministers are meeting to clarify the situation and the government will make a statement later, Leader of the House Geoff Hoon told the Commons.

One caller to BBC Five said his friend had seen "the bus ripped open like a can of sardines and bodies everywhere".

And the Press Association quoted union officials as saying sources had told them there had been at least one explosive device on the Underground.

There was immediately smoke everywhere and it was hot and everybody panicked. People started screaming and crying

Jacqui Head
BBC News

Bus 'ripped apart' in explosion

British Transport Police said incidents took place at Aldgate, Edgware Road, King's Cross, Old Street and Russell Square stations.

Scotland Yard confirmed they were assisting with a "major incident" and said there were casualties.

Hospitals have said they are no longer accepting non-emergency cases, BBC Five Live reported.

The National Grid, which supplies power to the Underground, said there had been no problems with its system which could have contributed to the incidents.

'Screaming and crying'

Jacqui Head, from BBC News, who had just left King's Cross station on a Piccadilly Line train as an explosion happened, said: "Everything was normal. Suddenly there was a massive bang, the train jolted.

"There was immediately smoke everywhere and it was hot and everybody panicked. People started screaming and crying."

The train was kept in the tunnel for 20 minutes and no announcement was made to explain the delay to passengers, she added.

Liberal Democrat MP Simon Hughes, near Kings Cross, told Five Live: "My only thought in the midst of all this confusion is that after the celebration of yesterday (for the Olympic 2012 London success) for people to be evil enough - if it is the intentional causing of death and injury - and think that they can justify this in any circumstances is completely unacceptable."

London Fire Brigade said four crews were at Liverpool Street and more were on their way.

Another passenger, who had left the Tube at Fenchurch Street Station, and walked to Aldgate East, told BBC Five Live that he saw injured people.

"As I walked through the bus station I could see people lying on the ground, black, as if they'd been covered in smoke. There were about three or four people on the floor being treated."

Eyewitness Paul Woloszyn from BBC News, who was at Blackhorse Road station on the Victoria Line, said: "We were told there was a bomb at Liverpool Street station.

"I was on the Tube, and they stopped the train and told everyone to get off and evacuate the station."

He said staff had said the entire Tube network had been affected, and leaflets had been handed out with details of alternative bus routes.

Another eyewitness, Dorothy Molloy, had been on a Tube train at King's Cross and said "staff just chucked everyone out of the station".

She said staff there had not given any details, but she said two passengers she had spoken to had said they had received messages saying there had been bombs.

"People didn't really know what was going on, they were just huffing and puffing and saying how annoying it was," she said.

"People don't seem to be panicked, but there's so many police and ambulances coming into the areas. People are just concerned, and some are just annoyed at the delay."

LONDON TUBE EXPLOSION CHAOS

0849 - Report of explosion on Metropolitan Line between Liverpool Street and Aldgate
Further explosions reported at Aldgate East, Edgware Road, King's Cross, Russell Square and Moorgate
Two Underground trains collide near King's Cross.

Freedom... 

Farewell to Twice-Nightly Whiteley. Oh, and smoking and pig personalities too.

Can I make a polite request please? Will you just let me have a cigarette after a meal out, or in a bus shelter, or with a coffee and slice of cake in a cafe? Forest are being vocal and campaigning, but I have some difficulty supporting an organisation whose main funders are tobacco companies. They do have some aptly named Writings Worth Reading though.

If you want to tell the government that you want to be able to smoke, you can do so here.

You see, I don't mind being segregated, pushed into a corner with yellowing walls and hacking coughs around me, I just want to be able to have a rollie in the places I go to chill out. Sheffield is very windy and smoking a cigarette, never mind rolling one, can be quite tricky outside. Download the consultation document on the Smoking Ban here.

Apparently, in a recent survey 51% of respondents said that in pubs they would prefer them to be mainly non-smoking, with smoking areas; 19% would prefer mainly smoking, with non-smoking areas; and 8% preferred smoking to be allowed throughout. That's 78% of people who want to allow some level of smoking in pubs - with 20% wanting pubs to be no smoking, and 2% who didn't know.

That's promising, but to those 20% who want totally no-smoking pubs, I wonder what you think pubs are actually for? Would you be happier if we also banned drinking? And laughing? And speaking?

I feel persecuted as a nicotine addict! I don't want non-smokers to have to breathe my smoke, I don't mind being shoved into a corner to keep my smoke away from others! Just give us a break.

You can respond to the consultation document by writing to: Smokefree Legislation Team, Health Improvement Directorate, Department of Health, Rm 707 Wellington House, 133-155 Waterloo Road, London SE1 8UG or by emailing smokefreelegislation@dh.gsi.gov.uk.

Go see my pig, and inherent personality analysis.

Richard Whiteley has died. The BBC Obituary is a good sum-up of a great guy.



The Guardian culture-vulture blog said this,

Watching him present the show - as he did for 23 years - sometimes felt like watching your dad dance at a wedding. Supremely confident yet squirmingly awkward, sensible suit and striped blazer topped off with a terrible tie, painful puns would tumble from his mouth, jokes and wordplay that you knew had never felt the touch of a professional script-writer, but had been thought up in the dressing room, and seemed like a terribly good idea at the time.

Very, very true. Bless ya Mr Groovy Ties.

Letters, Ethics, Dosh, Homophobia, Anti-Car, Animations, Songs and Bombs.

I have been having horrendous times lately with certain financial institutions. So I was entertained to be pointed again to a great letter to a bank, allegedly sent, the first paragraph of which reads,

Dear Sir,
I am writing to thank you for bouncing the cheque with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, some three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the cheque, and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honour it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire salary, an arrangement which, I admit, has only been in place for eight years. You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account with $50 by way of penalty for the inconvenience I caused to your bank.

You have probably seen it before - I certainly had - but it's worth a re-read.

I also like this response to a speeding fine, and how many of us can relate to this tirade against NTL, though personally I would have eschewed the poo attachments... Letter to the Early Learning Centre is amusing too.

Ok, so none of them help me deal with the particular shits I'm dealing with, but they at least brought a smile.

Speaking of financial services, the Co-operative Bank's position on Christian Voice appears to be being widely supported - quite rightly. The bank asked Christian Voice to close their account with them, due to their extreme homophobia. The Co-op Bank, despite their faults, do have a reasonably strong ethical policy which underlies their investments and determines which companies and organisations can invest with them. (Incidentally, in that Times article I referenced, I do hope that when they say The bank prides itself on its 'ethnical policies', they actually mean ethical policies!)

I say reasonably strong because, much to my annoyance, they have spent much of their recent months promoting accounts which fund and encourage car use when we know all too well that excessive car use is exacerbating the huge environmental damage we are inflicting on the earth, not to mention the oil=petrol=war links in Iraq. I have challenged them on this but they state their is no contradiction with their own ecological standards for their business customers.

However, their strong stance against (non)Christian (non)Voice is to be welcomed and encouraged (and you can tell them this here). If you want to challenge them about their car-use promotions, you can also tell them that there too.

And it is almost as if the ecological karma goddess just dropped this into my email inbox. Seriously, I finished typing that last paragraph and then opened my email programme and had an email from Friends of the Earth asking people to act against climate change.

And I'm very, very glad that the BNP have lost their London council seat.

My animations and things page is, if I say so myself, quite cool. Though maybe that's because I only list things on it that I think are cool and whether others share that judgement is a whole other matter.

But my favourite addition to it of the day has to be The Very Model of a Modern Labour Minister. It combines my love of the ultra-camp Gilbert & Sullivan, smart political commentary, and it parodies the same song as my ever favourite Tom Lehrer's The Elements and the relative newcomers Fitness to Practice singing The Drugs Song. Incidentally, finding the links to that lets me know that Amateur Transplants (as they seem to be called) have a new song, but it's horrible.

But where was I? Ok, the Modern Labour Minister song is all about the thorny issue of ID cards, which the UK government is planning on introducing compulsorily. It sounds a terrifying and outrageous prospect to myself and many others, indeed I talked about it here in relation to some spot-on stuff that Germaine Greer had said. The No2ID site say it all much better than I could, and really very well. My recommendation is to go there if you're at all unsure about the issues, and read how they separate fact from New Labour fiction.

And, in case anyone feels like a bit of g0og1eb0m8ing, I give you:

Jerry Falwell, Jerry Falwell, Jerry Falwell, Jerry Falwell, Jerry Falwell, Jerry Falwell, Jerry Falwell, Jerry Falwell, Jerry Falwell, Jerry Falwell. and Downing Street Memo, Downing Street Memo, Downing Street Memo, Downing Street Memo, Downing Street Memo, Downing Street Memo, Downing Street Memo, Downing Street Memo, Downing Street Memo, Downing Street Memo, Downing Street Memo, Downing Street Memo
Downing Street Memo and Rycroft Memo, Rycroft Memo, Rycroft Memo, Rycroft Memo, Rycroft Memo, Rycroft Memo, Rycroft Memo, Rycroft Memo, Rycroft Memo, Rycroft Memo, Rycroft Memo, Rycroft Memo, Rycroft Memo.

And some giggles for the weekend for you - turn on your sound and click depressed patient not so and A Nigerian identity crisis.

Sheffield Shouts.

Rather a lot of G8 leaders were in Sheffield on Wednesday and Thursday, having meetings about killing people, and blocking off a huge, huge portion of the city centre. They were the Home Affairs and Justice Ministers' summit, it seems. There was a big city-centre-size hole in the tram route, and the buses were going from strange stops which, if not for bumping into the occasional bus person, I'd never have discovered and been unable to get home.

And I have never seen as many police in my life. Everywhere you looked was a sea of flourescent yellow jackets. There were many police vans, not only from South Yorkshire police, but West Yorkshire police too (and possibly more - I only saw some of them). It's a horribly intimidating feeling to walk through a group of 30-40 coppers just to get to the (strangely located) bus stop.

I was carrying a huge mop which I had just bought and I was wondering whether they were wondering if I was going to commit a mop-based terrorist attack on the Ministers. I wasn't.



Great pic on Indymedia 


There were protests against the summit. Impressive protests, which I was hoping to join myself, but then couldn't. The only place for information about the incredible resistance from Sheffield people against this intrusion into our city is Sheffield Indymedia. (Video here, one of several).

And I always love a bit of subvertising.

Schnews is a great source of information and inspiration, and their weekly newsletter is great. This week, they presented the following figures:

Debt package agreed on Jun 11th $40bn

Total African debt since 1970 $833.4bn

Total African repayments since 1970 $817.4bn

Total debt still outstanding $506bn.

There isn't much more that needs to be said there, is there?

Butterflies, freeBies, and Bollocks about aBuse verdicts.

Yesterday I walked 10104 steps, which was 4.8 miles, burning 704 calories. Yey me! And yey for pedometers...

There is an incredible story in today's Guardian about a butterfly which became extinct in the UK in 1979, whose lives depended on some rather intricate trickery.

It has now been re-introduced to 10 secret, and 1 public site in Britain, and its survival story is really quite incredible.

The rather unimaginatively named Large Blue butterfly [...] begins life as a normal caterpillar and the young larvae feed on wild thyme flowers.

From then on its life depends on its con trick. As each larva drops to the ground, it secretes a sticky sugary substance which is irresistible to ants.

The ants are tricked into thinking that the larva is a lost ant grub and take it into their underground colony.

But not any old ant will do, only large colonies of a single species of red ant - Myrnica sabuleti - can act as a suitable host.

An incredible phase in the caterpillar's life then begins where for 10 months it turns into a carnivore - eating the ant grubs while the hapless ants feed and care for it as one of their own.

The caterpillar pupates in the ant nest, finally emerging for a few brief days in the last stage of its remarkable life as a beautiful butterfly.

Changing farming techniques led to the decline of the red ant the butterfly depends on and in 1979 the Large Blue became extinct in Britain.

Mathew Oates, the National Trust's adviser on nature conservation, said: "Over the next few weeks and future summers we look forward to welcoming visitors at Collard Hill to come and see this rare and beautiful butterfly and understand its extraordinary life of deception."

Free stuff

There are pages and pages of lists of sources of free information, loads of things you needed to find out, and also things you didn't know you needed to find out. There is also some cool, free software and loads of discount voucher codes for many online shops. I don't get any exciting commission or anything for any of those, they are just cool and handy.

Michael Jackson

Monday's entry here caused a bit of a stir in the comments. So, responses follow, though how much I do or don't go into this I will see, as I am exhausted and fairly miserable.

Ok, so slowdown shows us this picture which, oh my god, I agree is so weird. I'm quite glad to not be a part of mankind because, if nothing else, he's certainly not apologising on my behalf!

Then metatron joined in. S/he begins, 'Unless you have some categorical evidence to support your disgust - and I'm going to go out on a limb here and state that I doubt this is true - then how exactly do you know that the decision was wrong?'.

Firstly, categorical evidence of sexual abuse very, very rarely exists. It just isn't that type of crime. Secondly, there are aspects of the prosecution's evidence which I actually do think are fairly categorical. Like that both Michael Jackson's and the kid's fingerprints were found on some of Jackson's pornography. This has been widely discussed as typical behaviour of abusers grooming their victims, when it is actually more than that. An adult showing a child pornography is already sexually abusing them.

Let me restate that. Showing children pornography is sexual abuse.

And thirdly, you are demanding categorical evidence that he was guilty. Surely on that basis you agree that he could not ever be safely declared innocent, as proving a lack or absence of something can be virtually impossible. There is evidence that he is guilty. What possible evidence could there be that he wasn't?

'What is your hatred based on?'
My hatred is based on the facts above, and the actions of this man, who when previously accused of sexually abusing a child, paid them off with $millions instead of letting the evidence stand for itself. And a man in his forties who routinely shares his bed with children in any case, and whose house is like a child's fantasy playground. It is also like a paedophile's fantasy playground, let's face it.

'Did you follow the case? Did you see the prosecution's "evidence"?'
Yes. Yes.

'Or does Michael just look a bit odd? Wow! I like your idea of justice.'
Umm hold on. Yes, he does look a bit odd, but the connection between that and his guilt is what? Are you presuming (rightly) that I think he looks odd, and presuming (wrongly) that that is why I think he is guilty? Can I paraphrase your good self in asking where the evidence is to make such a random connection?

'The prosecution failed to produce even the slightest sliver of credible evidence. All they had was hearsay from habitual liars, but you're certain he was guilty because ... ? What?'
Well, what I said above really. And what Jennifer and many commenters say here, and what many, many people are saying all over the world and the web! But I went into some of it at least above and that will have to do.

'Perhaps him being a man didn't fit in well with your feminism?'
Well, perhaps him being a man who showed pornography to a child doesn't fit in well with my feminism? And him being a man who has used his immense wealth and undeserved influence to completely control his surroundings to, thus far, protect himself from the justice of the real world doesn't fit in well with my feminism. And maybe his being a man who possesses and uses lots of fetishising and demeaning and 'barely legal' porngraphy doesn't fit in well with my feminism.

'Might I suggest you try acquiring the trait of objectivism?'
You might, but I had to look it up. Objectivism, it seems, is less of a trait and more of either the particular philosophy of Ayn Rand, or a movement within art, in areas such as poetry or literature - a type of 20th century poetry in which objects are selected and portrayed for their own particular value, rather than their symbolic quality or the intellectual concept of the author.

So, that said I'm going to presume you meant objectivity (though even then I'm still not sure it's strictly a trait, but that's the obsessive linguist in me so I'll stop). I do have the skill of objectivity. I have done enough reading, studying, debating, campaigning, reasoning and just plain living to have that skill. But objectivity in itself is really quite dull, especially where opinionated blogging is concerned.

I generally believe that objectivity is the place to start, using the objective facts and statistics and generalisations and information to then build an opinion. If you want to read total objectivity then a blog is not the place to look. In theory a news reporting website would be a source of objective fact but that is virtually never the case either. True objectivity is a lot rarer in our media than is often thought.

But yes, I understand and appreciate objectivity, but as a basis to then build on with what I know and live and learn subjectively and through experience, as that is what is vitally important.

'I wasn't aware that the average hippie sought the existence of a police state and mob justice by gut feelings, preferring it to due process.'
I'm not the average hippie, thank god. I'm not the average anything. And you are right that no average hippie, nor this hippie here seeks the existence of a police state. Unfortunately we mostly live in one, but believing Michael Jackson has bought his way out of allegations several years ago, and has bought his way into the service of a persuasive team of barristers this time, does not in any way equate to seeking a police state.

Breathe out.

The adorable custard spy jumped in with her own wonderfulness: 'Metratron, sort yourself out! Consider this: would any other 45 year old man found to have been sleeping with children get away with it? Really? And for someone who wants an evidential basis for statements, please at least have the courtesy to READ Hippie's blog before you accuse her of making judgements on the basis of appearance (I don't believe the post made any reference to MJ's looks)or gender. In contrast, you've demonstrated your own tendency to do this with your facile assumption of "she's a feminist - she must hate Michael Jackson because he's a man"! Think about it. Learn something new yourself.', to which I nod a lot and smile and giggle, and slowdown rejoined the discussion, with 'I concur. I don't see what Hippie's opinion on Jackson has to do with feminism, apart from the fact that Metatron obviously seems uncomfortable with both. I also suspect that he/she/it meant 'objectivity' rather than 'objectivism', but that's just the sort of slip people tend to make when indulging in their own subjective rants. They also tend to forget that they're on a blog - where strong personal opinions are to be expected - and consequently end up forgetting their manners. But that's just my opinion.'

I am mainly quoting those last two comments, rather than discussing them. This is partly because they articulately and cleverly make their own points very clearly, and it is partly because I'm really tired now and need to rest! But waves to Custard Spy and slowdown for knowing why I blog, and why I'm not an appalling person who makes judgements on the basis of unusual facial features.

Michael Jackson...

has been found... not guilty. What the fuck is that about????

I am so sick on hearing those verdicts.

I heard an interview on the radio with him a few minutes ago, in which he referred to himself as a black luminary. Where on earth do you start with deconstructing a statement like that?!

I hate him.

I cannot publish this post yet because of blogger errors. Don't know if the whole world is blogging the not guilty nightmare.

Great quote, though, from a woman from Kidscape who was on The World Tonight just now. If I had one thing to say to Michael Jackson, it would be for God's sake, stop sleeping with boys. Quite.

In 1996...

So, what do you do then?

Whenever I meet someone new, usually their 2nd, 3rd or 4th question is, 'So what do you do?'.

I live in dread of that question because there are so many ways to answer it, but none which ever quite fit into the smalltalk nature in which it was asked.

I could answer, variously:

• Nothing, I'm mad


• Lots of things, I'm just not paid for any of them


• I'm studying


• I do mental health stuff


• I hate people who define others by what they do


• My main achievement is still being alive at the end of each day


• I cry a lot, have panic attacks, and hear and see allsorts that noone else does


• I leech my money from your hard-earned taxes

They're all true, but I rarely want to go into any of them really. And rarely do. Other than 'I do mental health stuff', which I say quite frequently while avoiding the real meaning of do, the others depend on my moods and that day's bitterness level towards a scary and presumptious world.

In any case, DH Kelly explores this exact issue on Ouch this week.

--

Every week I receive a newsletter in my Inbox from World Wide Words, a fantastic resource full of great information for linguaphones (a word? or just a company selling foreign language courses for £loads?) like me. From last weeks, I loved,
Weird Words: Valetudinarian

A person who is unduly anxious about their health.

The everyday word for a person of this sort is "hypochondriac", but
this polysyllabic and literary term is a good alternative at times
when it is desirable not to seem too unkind. In November 2004, the
word appeared in an obituary of the football writer Arthur Hopcraft
in the Independent: "Fastidious, set in his ways and prematurely
balding, Hopcraft had an air of the valetudinarian bachelor about
him from a relatively early age."

The word appears in the language in 1703, in the third volume of
William Dampier's A New Voyage Round the World. Dampier was an
extraordinary explorer, map-maker and buccaneer; a couple of years
after he published this volume he commanded a privateering voyage
during which Alexander Selkirk, the model for Robinson Crusoe, was
marooned. He wrote: "Many of our English Valetudinarians have gone
from Jamaica...to the I. Caimanes,...to live wholly upon Turtle
that abound there". (He's referring to the Cayman Islands, these
days famous more as a refuge for the money of the reclusive rich
than for sick people.) A writer in the Gentleman's Magazine in 1787
remarked that: "Every one knows how hard a task it is to cure a
valetudinarian."

The word is from Latin "valetudinarius", in ill health. And I can't say I'm not wondering whether I'm a valetudinarian would be a good answer to the question I opened with... it wouldn't be accurate, but it would at least be something to say!

--

Waste Online is a fantastic resource. If you want to know how to dispose of pretty much anything in as environmental a way of possible, they have ideas for how to re-use, recycle, donate it. So if you're wondering what to do with old video tapes, or cooking oil, or old hearing aids, freezers or even fire extinguishers, you'll find great ideas there.

--

I am very, very, very happy to hear that Fathers for Justice have disbanded. I was informed of this by the rather excellent Truth About Rape women, and the F4J statement on the issues has caused me much cackling. Ha.

Akathisia, Biganimals, Councils, Donethings, Extragoodlinks ABCDE.

Go Sheffield! For being one of only two councils in the country to choose to house a group of people fleeing intolerable conditions. And shame on all the others.

And check out this liger... a lion / tiger cross that is monumentally huge!

Sometimes I get a form of either restless legs syndrome or akathisia from medication, which can feel absolutely torturous when I'm lying in bed and trying to get to sleep. For anyone else similarly afflicted, a bar of soap could be worth a try... Of course I'm sceptical, but given that my incredibly persistent verruca may actually be being reduced by daily applications of garlic strapped to it, I'm more open to suggestions nowadays!

Check out links on the right of the screen, by the way. I only put them there cos they're fab. My favourites of the day are On Becoming a Homosexual... and 360 Degrees of Sky.

And finally, a meme stolen from birdychirp:

Ten Things I've Never Done

1. Windsurfed


2. Liked my stomach


3. Got a suntan


4. Learned Japanese


5. Cheated on a partner


6. Had a perm


7. Found Jim Davidson funny


8. Lived a tidy, organised existence


9. Been to Sweden


10. Eaten sushi

And you...?

Charity Fuck-ups, Dugongs, Stigma, and Queer Marching.

I am so angry. It seems that thousands of the Make Poverty History wristbands were manufactured in conditions that breach international ethical standards.

Chinese companies responsible for wristbands worn by thousand of charity supporters [...] have been accused of indulging in forced labour and of paying less than the official minimum wage. An audit also discovered breaches of health and safety regulations.

[...]

An audit report on Fuzhou Xing Chun Trade Company, in Fujian province, said workers were paid below the local minimum hourly wage of 2.39 yuan (16p), to as low as 1.39 yuan (9p). They were insufficiently rewarded for overtime work, had no paid annual leave and suffered pay deductions for disciplinary reasons.

Paid nine pence an hour... for fuck's sake. This is an organisation whose purpose is supposed to be to rid the world of poverty, and they are selling junk which was made in horrific and exploitative conditions, to make their point? They didn't think it was worth bothering to find this out before placing the orders? Or what?? How on earth did this happen, because I for one am angry and really, really disillusioned.

On another issue, we need to save the dugongs. Really. Do it.

The Archers has won an award, the Mind Champions of the Year award in fact, for the person or group making the biggest contribution to challenging the stigma surrounding mental health problems. Yey for Ambridge!

The Mayor of Warsaw has banned their gay Pride march. Apparently the same happened last year. Local members of the gay community have decided to march regardless, and you can offer them your support, and protest the ban here. I mean, for goodness' sake, a load of gay people walking down a street? That shouldn't be banned, no more than a load of people with brown hair, or a load of people who are wearing jeans, or a load of people who can speak 3 languages, or any such random gang of people should be. I am fully aware I'm not making much sense, but let us march!

I'm tired and haven't been online til now for almost a week, so that's it for now.

Have a rest, from me. 

I've been 28 for a week.

Chesney's back!! That's right, the one-hit wonder who you may remember being The One and Only is coming to my lovely city of Sheffield to sing. I shall be sure to stay as far away as possible.

I had the joy of a Roman Catholic education. This meant occasionally going on retreats, during one of which we had to meditate for several hours on the lyrics of that song... I am the one and only. There's nobody I'd rather be and so on. Profound stuff, you can see... Hmm.

Who is the Piano Man? It is such a sad story, and so evocative.

I am not doing very well lately, it's all a struggle. Trying to keep on top of things, including hippie blog.

Crisis, Crass, Clue.

Radio Four Faces Strike Chaos. Crisis time! It seems that on Monday, there may be no Today Programme, World at One, Start the Week, Woman's Hour, Front Row... and the list goes on! Live programmes basically, as many of the producers, researchers and editors will be striking. What on earth will I do? And they may even be blacked out rather than replaced by something pre-recorded. A big radio 4 shaped hole... :(

The French for self-harm seems to be automutilation. The verb, s'auto-mutiler. I had wondered before and generally settled on se couper while knowing while it wouldn't be the proper term, it would work. S'auto-mutiler and automutilation though, are awful terms! Yack!

I will cheer myself up by listening to an old Clue.

Smear Smears.

The NHS has recently changed their guidelines for frequency of cervical smear tests. They have decided it is adequate to invite women to have their first pap smear at 25, followed by a test every 3 years, until the age of 49. Then, between the ages of 50 and 64, women will be invited to have a smear test every 5 years.

That's all fine, their reasoning sounds, well, reasonable.

I learned all this while in the waiting room at my GP practice last week, and picked up the leaflet for something to do.

Then when I had read all that, I started looking at the various translations of the vital information which the leaflet also contained.

My gluey collage which you can see above contains the chart in English explaining the new system, and its translation into French. If you know any French, click on the image to look in more detail, and go mistake-spotting.

Because it's actually a huge, huge mistake. French-speaking people in South Yorkshire will be very, very scared.

They are being told that between the ages of 25 and 49, they will need three smear tests every year, and then between 50 and 64 they will require five smear tests every year. My own experience of the evil tests are that the results wouldn't even be back before the next one was due!

So, a big oops for whoever the French translator for that leaflet was. I dread to think what they may have mangled in the many other languages on there which I can't read or speak.

I called the Cervical Smear Screening Programme that morning and informed them of the error, and the woman I spoke to sounded stunned, as I was, that that had somehow gone out, and said that she would contact the South Yorkshire programme which had put out the leaflet.

So, Hippie saved the day. Or something! Look out for new leaflets!