Sunday, February 24, 2013


Hello, long-neglected blog, I have missed you! There is lots to say and update.

A year and a bit ago I became self-employed as a freelance writer. I didn't think I was going to be able to make it work, but somehow it went from strength to strength and I do seem to be holding my own in this business.

In seemingly unrelated news, I have wanted a tattoo for 15 years. My inability to make a decision about what it should depict means I have never done it. I would make a decision and change my mind and choose something else and change my mind. I was beginning to wonder if I would ever settle on something to actually get one done.

Back to the business... when I'd done it for a year, this felt super significant. Despite illness, disability, and sometimes feeling completely like I was floundering, I'd done it. It felt really important to mark it in some way. Of course, a tattoo came to mind, but that endless question - what would it be?

My eyes came upon a sign I have had by my desk for the whole year, which had encouraged me whenever I felt like I just couldn't do this thing. It reads, "She believed she could so she did". When I needed a confidence boost, I would look at the sign and realise I could do it. Not only did it help me, but I'd also looked at it most days for a whole year and still liked it...

So there I had it, the tattoo. I had it done yesterday and I love it.

Did it hurt?

Well, yes. However it was a lot, lot better than I'd imagined in that respect. It was sore, kind of like being scratched again and again and again. I wouldn't call it painful, although some spots were worse than others.

Where did you have it?

My left inner forearm. I've always known that my first tattoo would go there, for some reason. I think partly it's because when I used to self-harm, that part of my arm took the brunt of my frustrations, so this was a way to reclaim it somehow. The old scars means that the ink might not be entirely uniform, but I can live with that.

I also wanted it to be somewhere where it would be seen. I didn't want a tattoo somewhere like my back where neither I nor anybody else would ever see it, I wanted it to be visible.

Any regrets?

Not even a tiny one.

Who did it?

Nikk at Good Vibrations Tattoo in Crookes, Sheffield.

But what about when you're 94 and it's gross?