Junk Mail ReDistribution.

I hate junk mail, and I get tonnes of it. It seems I can sign up to as many don't send me any junk mail databases, and it just keeps on coming.

In particular, I hate:
1. the massive waste of paper it entails
2. the fact that so many of them are offering me freedom from debt if I would only take out extra debt with them
3. the fact that most of the credit card / loan stuff is even more entirely unethical than most credit card / loans are unethical, in that they are often directly marketed to people who cannot afford it
4. the fact that it just arrives on my doormat and I am obliged to deal with it.

At some point, a year or so ago, when I was feeling particularly annoyed about another trash bag full of mainly junk mail, I thought up a system which I have now honed and perfected. I call it Junk Mail Redistribution, and it goes something like this...

1. I open up an item of junk mail which offers me the world and (crucially) encloses a pre-paid envelope for me to send off my money in. It is, say, a credit card deal from company A.

2. I then open up the next item of junk mail which is company B offering me a loan. It also (crucially) contains a pre-paid envelope.

3. I open up the third item of mail - a plea for funds from a charity.

4. I finally open up the fourth item of junk, which turns out to be a guarantee that I have won at least £100 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 on an obscure lottery that I have never heard of, never mind played, if only I will send them £30. Oh look, another pre-paid envelope.

5. I also grab the pile of flyers which came in the last magazine I bought.

And then the fun starts. I figure that company A will want to be made aware of the competitive (if you are mad) rates of company B's loans, so (while removing any identifying features from letters) I put company B's bumph into company A's envelope.

At this stage you can seal it and send it back, but it is more fun to add some of the magazine's flyers (while making sure to remove any... you guessed it... prepaid envelopes or forms within!).

If you are also feeling sympathetic towards the begging charity then I often think it is only fair to send company A's post-opening-assistant one of their leaflets too.

Then you can happily seal company A's envelope, full of all of the above, and stick it in the post, safe in the knowledge that they will have junk mail to deal with, they are paying the postage for it, and you have less to fill up your rubbish bags.

However at this stage you still have all of the info on the amazing credit card deal from company A, which can happily go in company B's freepost envelope, along with any extra charity / lottery junk / scratchcards (to win a tenth of a cruise for 3/8 of a person as long as they pay £8500 towards the insurance) / random bits of anything, ready to be posted - at their expense - back to them.

So, I think you're maybe getting the gist.

I think the lottery people would be glad to receive more charity leaflets, as they are so rich after all, and I did once inform the psychics who so regularly write to me that, being psychic and all, they will know that I can't afford to send them money for a reading, nor do I want one, and if they really do know the lottery numbers then they won't need my dosh anyway.

And of course, any amount of embellishment or creativity on the envelopes / contents / free reply coupons, can only be encouraged. There is the rant on the envelope technique, or the request to the company receiving the stuff to recycle it, or anything that suits really.

I like doing it this way. I don't have access to doorstep recycling collections, and these companies are a lot more likely to, so they surely have a responsibility to recycle the stuff I so nicely request them to.

Also, they send out junk - they should certainly know how it feels to receive it all, whether relevant or (usually) not.

And more still, it must cost direct marketing people £millions to post this stuff out. I figure if it costs them even more to get other people's junk back, they may actually begin to question the logic of the whole process.

And finally, they're bastards and it's all bad! The minor but satisfying feeling of revenge as I stick a few pre-paid envelopes chock-full of their competition's promotional shit really quite makes it all worthwhile :)

So yeah, junk mail redistribution is rewarding, fun, somewhat naughty, and fully deserved.

Or at least that's my view ;)

Well I never...

If each of the UK's 10 million office workers used one fewer staple a day, that could save 120 tonnes of steel a year.

Steel Woman.

100_0350
Originally uploaded by incurable_hippie.

Last year, about this time, I was very excited about the Steel Man outside Sheffield town hall. This year he has been joined by the Steel Woman.

I love Sheffield in Bloom :)

con·tra·dic·tion: Inconsistency; discrepancy.

Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD. - Leviticus 19:28

Oh my, oh my, oh my. I just did that thing that makes the internet the best thing ever in the world. You know, when you click on a link to a new page, then another link from there, then another from there, and you find yourself somewhere you never, ever thought was possible?

I followed a link to awful plastic surgery which led me to click on the link to a tattoo blog, which sounded interesting.

And then, then, they had a link to religioustattoos.net. Religious Tattoos dot net!!!! I was so excited, and with good reason! There are 17 Mary tattoos, 93 Jesus tattoos, 2 of the Last Supper and even 36 of the Holy Spirit!

I was getting all excited and working out who to email the link to when I spotted the ultimate webring... The Christian Tattoo Association. There is a whole Association!!

I'm not quite sure why this has entertained me so much. My status as a Recovering Catholic (it never quite goes away...), admiration for many arty tattoos, and the sheer campness of some of the images, combined with the 'hard'ness of having a tat at all...

I don't know, it seems inherently contradictory, the juxtaposition of picture of Our Lady... permanently inked with a needle in the arm. The juxtaposition of tattoos (cool, rebellious) with religion (not cool, often conforming). And the juxtaposition of me going Cool, tats and Yikes, a crucifix.

Leviticus 11:6-7 - The rabbit, though it chews the cud, does not have a split hoof; it is unclean for you. And the pig, though it has a split hoof completely divided, does not chew the cud; it is unclean for you.

Leviticus 11:10-12 - But all creatures in the seas or streams that do not have fins and scales - whether among all the swarming things or among all the other living creatures in the water - you are to detest. And since you are to detest them, you must not eat their meat and you must detest their carcasses. Anything living in the water that does not have fins and scales is to be detestable to you.

Leviticus 19:19 - Keep my decrees. Do not mate different kinds of animals. Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed. Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material.

Leviticus 19:27 - Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard.

Leviticus 19:28 - Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD.

Leviticus 21:5 - Priests must not shave their heads or shave off the edges of their beards or cut their bodies.

Art in the Park!

Fabulous stuff!

Light and Dark.

My gosh, lots to do and say.

Thanks for the thoughtful comments to my last entry. I am safe as yet, and I have made contact with most people I know in London, who are also safe. Won't be quite happy until I've contacted the last few though.

The whole thing is horrible. I wasn't in the least surprised when the news reports started coming through. I think we've been under no illusion that it would happen, it was just the when really that we didn't know.

As others have said, these days of instant information aren't always as informative as we might like. I heard an interruption to the radio programme I was listening to, at 9.30am, saying that due to a power surge, all the London underground stations had been closed. Then, at the 10 o'clock news an explosion on a bus was reported as well, and it became clear that this wasn't a power surge type of incident, but something more sinister and clearly co-ordinated.

Then, much as I was hearing live radio news, reading instantaneous reports on the internet, it was a terribly slow and confused process, because much as the information was being put out soon after it was learned, everyone was actually still trying to work out what on earth was going on, so we were getting lots of speculation and possiblys, as that is the reality of trying to work out what on earth is happening, while also broadcasting to keep people informed. But it was like some sort of horrible jigsaw with the pieces changing shape periodically.

Today it has come out that rather than the tube explosions being within 30 minutes of each other, that actually all three bombs went off in less than a minute.

There are many photos around of the aftermath of what happened. In particular, the first two photos here show how awful one of the situations looked.

----

Fact of the Day: It is estimated that the mental capacity of a 100 year old human with perfect memory could be represented by a computer with 10 to the power of 15 bits (one petabit). At the current rate of computer chip development, that figure can be reached in about 35 years. However, that represents just memory capacity, not the extremely complex processes of thought creation and emotions.

PostSecret of the Day: Stare / look closely.

Meme of the Day: "If, as you live your life, you find yourself mentally composing blog entries about it, post this exact same sentence in your weblog" (stolen from Dooey).

Meme of the Week: Ten Songs From the Year I Was Born
1. "Knowing Me, Knowing You" - ABBA
2. "When A Child Is Born" - Johnny Mathis
3. "Don't Cry For Me Argentina" - Julie Covington
4. "God Save the Queen" - The Sex Pistols
5. "I Feel Love" - Donna Summer
6. "I Don't Want To Talk About It/The First Cut Is The Deepest" - Rod Stewart
7. "The Name Of The Game" - ABBA
8. "Living Next Door To Alice" - Smokie
9. "Rockin' All Over The World" - Status Quo
10. "We Are The Champions" - Queen

(stolen from AAYOR)

----

I leave you with Never Forget, Tony.

What's Happening?

Apparently there are a series of explosions in London - whole tube system closed down, and an explosion on a double decker bus.

BBC News

Google News UK.

Edited to add:
11.14am: from BBC - Several people have been injured after explosions on the Underground network and a double-decker bus in London.
A police spokesman said there were "quite a large number of casualties" at Aldgate Tube Station.

And Scotland Yard confirmed one of several reports of explosions on buses in the city - in Tavistock Place - but said the cause was not yet known.

UK Home Secretary Charles Clarke said several explosions in central London had caused "terrible injuries".

"The health services are in support to deal with the terrible injuries that there have been," Clarke told reporters outside Downing Street.

Number 10 said it was "still unsure" whether the explosions were a terrorist attack and although casualties were reported, no further details were yet available.

Ministers are meeting to clarify the situation and the government will make a statement later, Leader of the House Geoff Hoon told the Commons.

One caller to BBC Five said his friend had seen "the bus ripped open like a can of sardines and bodies everywhere".

And the Press Association quoted union officials as saying sources had told them there had been at least one explosive device on the Underground.

There was immediately smoke everywhere and it was hot and everybody panicked. People started screaming and crying

Jacqui Head
BBC News

Bus 'ripped apart' in explosion

British Transport Police said incidents took place at Aldgate, Edgware Road, King's Cross, Old Street and Russell Square stations.

Scotland Yard confirmed they were assisting with a "major incident" and said there were casualties.

Hospitals have said they are no longer accepting non-emergency cases, BBC Five Live reported.

The National Grid, which supplies power to the Underground, said there had been no problems with its system which could have contributed to the incidents.

'Screaming and crying'

Jacqui Head, from BBC News, who had just left King's Cross station on a Piccadilly Line train as an explosion happened, said: "Everything was normal. Suddenly there was a massive bang, the train jolted.

"There was immediately smoke everywhere and it was hot and everybody panicked. People started screaming and crying."

The train was kept in the tunnel for 20 minutes and no announcement was made to explain the delay to passengers, she added.

Liberal Democrat MP Simon Hughes, near Kings Cross, told Five Live: "My only thought in the midst of all this confusion is that after the celebration of yesterday (for the Olympic 2012 London success) for people to be evil enough - if it is the intentional causing of death and injury - and think that they can justify this in any circumstances is completely unacceptable."

London Fire Brigade said four crews were at Liverpool Street and more were on their way.

Another passenger, who had left the Tube at Fenchurch Street Station, and walked to Aldgate East, told BBC Five Live that he saw injured people.

"As I walked through the bus station I could see people lying on the ground, black, as if they'd been covered in smoke. There were about three or four people on the floor being treated."

Eyewitness Paul Woloszyn from BBC News, who was at Blackhorse Road station on the Victoria Line, said: "We were told there was a bomb at Liverpool Street station.

"I was on the Tube, and they stopped the train and told everyone to get off and evacuate the station."

He said staff had said the entire Tube network had been affected, and leaflets had been handed out with details of alternative bus routes.

Another eyewitness, Dorothy Molloy, had been on a Tube train at King's Cross and said "staff just chucked everyone out of the station".

She said staff there had not given any details, but she said two passengers she had spoken to had said they had received messages saying there had been bombs.

"People didn't really know what was going on, they were just huffing and puffing and saying how annoying it was," she said.

"People don't seem to be panicked, but there's so many police and ambulances coming into the areas. People are just concerned, and some are just annoyed at the delay."

LONDON TUBE EXPLOSION CHAOS

0849 - Report of explosion on Metropolitan Line between Liverpool Street and Aldgate
Further explosions reported at Aldgate East, Edgware Road, King's Cross, Russell Square and Moorgate
Two Underground trains collide near King's Cross.

Freedom... 

Farewell to Twice-Nightly Whiteley. Oh, and smoking and pig personalities too.

Can I make a polite request please? Will you just let me have a cigarette after a meal out, or in a bus shelter, or with a coffee and slice of cake in a cafe? Forest are being vocal and campaigning, but I have some difficulty supporting an organisation whose main funders are tobacco companies. They do have some aptly named Writings Worth Reading though.

If you want to tell the government that you want to be able to smoke, you can do so here.

You see, I don't mind being segregated, pushed into a corner with yellowing walls and hacking coughs around me, I just want to be able to have a rollie in the places I go to chill out. Sheffield is very windy and smoking a cigarette, never mind rolling one, can be quite tricky outside. Download the consultation document on the Smoking Ban here.

Apparently, in a recent survey 51% of respondents said that in pubs they would prefer them to be mainly non-smoking, with smoking areas; 19% would prefer mainly smoking, with non-smoking areas; and 8% preferred smoking to be allowed throughout. That's 78% of people who want to allow some level of smoking in pubs - with 20% wanting pubs to be no smoking, and 2% who didn't know.

That's promising, but to those 20% who want totally no-smoking pubs, I wonder what you think pubs are actually for? Would you be happier if we also banned drinking? And laughing? And speaking?

I feel persecuted as a nicotine addict! I don't want non-smokers to have to breathe my smoke, I don't mind being shoved into a corner to keep my smoke away from others! Just give us a break.

You can respond to the consultation document by writing to: Smokefree Legislation Team, Health Improvement Directorate, Department of Health, Rm 707 Wellington House, 133-155 Waterloo Road, London SE1 8UG or by emailing smokefreelegislation@dh.gsi.gov.uk.

Go see my pig, and inherent personality analysis.

Richard Whiteley has died. The BBC Obituary is a good sum-up of a great guy.



The Guardian culture-vulture blog said this,

Watching him present the show - as he did for 23 years - sometimes felt like watching your dad dance at a wedding. Supremely confident yet squirmingly awkward, sensible suit and striped blazer topped off with a terrible tie, painful puns would tumble from his mouth, jokes and wordplay that you knew had never felt the touch of a professional script-writer, but had been thought up in the dressing room, and seemed like a terribly good idea at the time.

Very, very true. Bless ya Mr Groovy Ties.

Letters, Ethics, Dosh, Homophobia, Anti-Car, Animations, Songs and Bombs.

I have been having horrendous times lately with certain financial institutions. So I was entertained to be pointed again to a great letter to a bank, allegedly sent, the first paragraph of which reads,

Dear Sir,
I am writing to thank you for bouncing the cheque with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, some three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the cheque, and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honour it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire salary, an arrangement which, I admit, has only been in place for eight years. You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account with $50 by way of penalty for the inconvenience I caused to your bank.

You have probably seen it before - I certainly had - but it's worth a re-read.

I also like this response to a speeding fine, and how many of us can relate to this tirade against NTL, though personally I would have eschewed the poo attachments... Letter to the Early Learning Centre is amusing too.

Ok, so none of them help me deal with the particular shits I'm dealing with, but they at least brought a smile.

Speaking of financial services, the Co-operative Bank's position on Christian Voice appears to be being widely supported - quite rightly. The bank asked Christian Voice to close their account with them, due to their extreme homophobia. The Co-op Bank, despite their faults, do have a reasonably strong ethical policy which underlies their investments and determines which companies and organisations can invest with them. (Incidentally, in that Times article I referenced, I do hope that when they say The bank prides itself on its 'ethnical policies', they actually mean ethical policies!)

I say reasonably strong because, much to my annoyance, they have spent much of their recent months promoting accounts which fund and encourage car use when we know all too well that excessive car use is exacerbating the huge environmental damage we are inflicting on the earth, not to mention the oil=petrol=war links in Iraq. I have challenged them on this but they state their is no contradiction with their own ecological standards for their business customers.

However, their strong stance against (non)Christian (non)Voice is to be welcomed and encouraged (and you can tell them this here). If you want to challenge them about their car-use promotions, you can also tell them that there too.

And it is almost as if the ecological karma goddess just dropped this into my email inbox. Seriously, I finished typing that last paragraph and then opened my email programme and had an email from Friends of the Earth asking people to act against climate change.

And I'm very, very glad that the BNP have lost their London council seat.

My animations and things page is, if I say so myself, quite cool. Though maybe that's because I only list things on it that I think are cool and whether others share that judgement is a whole other matter.

But my favourite addition to it of the day has to be The Very Model of a Modern Labour Minister. It combines my love of the ultra-camp Gilbert & Sullivan, smart political commentary, and it parodies the same song as my ever favourite Tom Lehrer's The Elements and the relative newcomers Fitness to Practice singing The Drugs Song. Incidentally, finding the links to that lets me know that Amateur Transplants (as they seem to be called) have a new song, but it's horrible.

But where was I? Ok, the Modern Labour Minister song is all about the thorny issue of ID cards, which the UK government is planning on introducing compulsorily. It sounds a terrifying and outrageous prospect to myself and many others, indeed I talked about it here in relation to some spot-on stuff that Germaine Greer had said. The No2ID site say it all much better than I could, and really very well. My recommendation is to go there if you're at all unsure about the issues, and read how they separate fact from New Labour fiction.

And, in case anyone feels like a bit of g0og1eb0m8ing, I give you:

Jerry Falwell, Jerry Falwell, Jerry Falwell, Jerry Falwell, Jerry Falwell, Jerry Falwell, Jerry Falwell, Jerry Falwell, Jerry Falwell, Jerry Falwell. and Downing Street Memo, Downing Street Memo, Downing Street Memo, Downing Street Memo, Downing Street Memo, Downing Street Memo, Downing Street Memo, Downing Street Memo, Downing Street Memo, Downing Street Memo, Downing Street Memo, Downing Street Memo
Downing Street Memo and Rycroft Memo, Rycroft Memo, Rycroft Memo, Rycroft Memo, Rycroft Memo, Rycroft Memo, Rycroft Memo, Rycroft Memo, Rycroft Memo, Rycroft Memo, Rycroft Memo, Rycroft Memo, Rycroft Memo.

And some giggles for the weekend for you - turn on your sound and click depressed patient not so and A Nigerian identity crisis.

Sheffield Shouts.

Rather a lot of G8 leaders were in Sheffield on Wednesday and Thursday, having meetings about killing people, and blocking off a huge, huge portion of the city centre. They were the Home Affairs and Justice Ministers' summit, it seems. There was a big city-centre-size hole in the tram route, and the buses were going from strange stops which, if not for bumping into the occasional bus person, I'd never have discovered and been unable to get home.

And I have never seen as many police in my life. Everywhere you looked was a sea of flourescent yellow jackets. There were many police vans, not only from South Yorkshire police, but West Yorkshire police too (and possibly more - I only saw some of them). It's a horribly intimidating feeling to walk through a group of 30-40 coppers just to get to the (strangely located) bus stop.

I was carrying a huge mop which I had just bought and I was wondering whether they were wondering if I was going to commit a mop-based terrorist attack on the Ministers. I wasn't.



Great pic on Indymedia 


There were protests against the summit. Impressive protests, which I was hoping to join myself, but then couldn't. The only place for information about the incredible resistance from Sheffield people against this intrusion into our city is Sheffield Indymedia. (Video here, one of several).

And I always love a bit of subvertising.

Schnews is a great source of information and inspiration, and their weekly newsletter is great. This week, they presented the following figures:

Debt package agreed on Jun 11th $40bn

Total African debt since 1970 $833.4bn

Total African repayments since 1970 $817.4bn

Total debt still outstanding $506bn.

There isn't much more that needs to be said there, is there?

Butterflies, freeBies, and Bollocks about aBuse verdicts.

Yesterday I walked 10104 steps, which was 4.8 miles, burning 704 calories. Yey me! And yey for pedometers...

There is an incredible story in today's Guardian about a butterfly which became extinct in the UK in 1979, whose lives depended on some rather intricate trickery.

It has now been re-introduced to 10 secret, and 1 public site in Britain, and its survival story is really quite incredible.

The rather unimaginatively named Large Blue butterfly [...] begins life as a normal caterpillar and the young larvae feed on wild thyme flowers.

From then on its life depends on its con trick. As each larva drops to the ground, it secretes a sticky sugary substance which is irresistible to ants.

The ants are tricked into thinking that the larva is a lost ant grub and take it into their underground colony.

But not any old ant will do, only large colonies of a single species of red ant - Myrnica sabuleti - can act as a suitable host.

An incredible phase in the caterpillar's life then begins where for 10 months it turns into a carnivore - eating the ant grubs while the hapless ants feed and care for it as one of their own.

The caterpillar pupates in the ant nest, finally emerging for a few brief days in the last stage of its remarkable life as a beautiful butterfly.

Changing farming techniques led to the decline of the red ant the butterfly depends on and in 1979 the Large Blue became extinct in Britain.

Mathew Oates, the National Trust's adviser on nature conservation, said: "Over the next few weeks and future summers we look forward to welcoming visitors at Collard Hill to come and see this rare and beautiful butterfly and understand its extraordinary life of deception."

Free stuff

There are pages and pages of lists of sources of free information, loads of things you needed to find out, and also things you didn't know you needed to find out. There is also some cool, free software and loads of discount voucher codes for many online shops. I don't get any exciting commission or anything for any of those, they are just cool and handy.

Michael Jackson

Monday's entry here caused a bit of a stir in the comments. So, responses follow, though how much I do or don't go into this I will see, as I am exhausted and fairly miserable.

Ok, so slowdown shows us this picture which, oh my god, I agree is so weird. I'm quite glad to not be a part of mankind because, if nothing else, he's certainly not apologising on my behalf!

Then metatron joined in. S/he begins, 'Unless you have some categorical evidence to support your disgust - and I'm going to go out on a limb here and state that I doubt this is true - then how exactly do you know that the decision was wrong?'.

Firstly, categorical evidence of sexual abuse very, very rarely exists. It just isn't that type of crime. Secondly, there are aspects of the prosecution's evidence which I actually do think are fairly categorical. Like that both Michael Jackson's and the kid's fingerprints were found on some of Jackson's pornography. This has been widely discussed as typical behaviour of abusers grooming their victims, when it is actually more than that. An adult showing a child pornography is already sexually abusing them.

Let me restate that. Showing children pornography is sexual abuse.

And thirdly, you are demanding categorical evidence that he was guilty. Surely on that basis you agree that he could not ever be safely declared innocent, as proving a lack or absence of something can be virtually impossible. There is evidence that he is guilty. What possible evidence could there be that he wasn't?

'What is your hatred based on?'
My hatred is based on the facts above, and the actions of this man, who when previously accused of sexually abusing a child, paid them off with $millions instead of letting the evidence stand for itself. And a man in his forties who routinely shares his bed with children in any case, and whose house is like a child's fantasy playground. It is also like a paedophile's fantasy playground, let's face it.

'Did you follow the case? Did you see the prosecution's "evidence"?'
Yes. Yes.

'Or does Michael just look a bit odd? Wow! I like your idea of justice.'
Umm hold on. Yes, he does look a bit odd, but the connection between that and his guilt is what? Are you presuming (rightly) that I think he looks odd, and presuming (wrongly) that that is why I think he is guilty? Can I paraphrase your good self in asking where the evidence is to make such a random connection?

'The prosecution failed to produce even the slightest sliver of credible evidence. All they had was hearsay from habitual liars, but you're certain he was guilty because ... ? What?'
Well, what I said above really. And what Jennifer and many commenters say here, and what many, many people are saying all over the world and the web! But I went into some of it at least above and that will have to do.

'Perhaps him being a man didn't fit in well with your feminism?'
Well, perhaps him being a man who showed pornography to a child doesn't fit in well with my feminism? And him being a man who has used his immense wealth and undeserved influence to completely control his surroundings to, thus far, protect himself from the justice of the real world doesn't fit in well with my feminism. And maybe his being a man who possesses and uses lots of fetishising and demeaning and 'barely legal' porngraphy doesn't fit in well with my feminism.

'Might I suggest you try acquiring the trait of objectivism?'
You might, but I had to look it up. Objectivism, it seems, is less of a trait and more of either the particular philosophy of Ayn Rand, or a movement within art, in areas such as poetry or literature - a type of 20th century poetry in which objects are selected and portrayed for their own particular value, rather than their symbolic quality or the intellectual concept of the author.

So, that said I'm going to presume you meant objectivity (though even then I'm still not sure it's strictly a trait, but that's the obsessive linguist in me so I'll stop). I do have the skill of objectivity. I have done enough reading, studying, debating, campaigning, reasoning and just plain living to have that skill. But objectivity in itself is really quite dull, especially where opinionated blogging is concerned.

I generally believe that objectivity is the place to start, using the objective facts and statistics and generalisations and information to then build an opinion. If you want to read total objectivity then a blog is not the place to look. In theory a news reporting website would be a source of objective fact but that is virtually never the case either. True objectivity is a lot rarer in our media than is often thought.

But yes, I understand and appreciate objectivity, but as a basis to then build on with what I know and live and learn subjectively and through experience, as that is what is vitally important.

'I wasn't aware that the average hippie sought the existence of a police state and mob justice by gut feelings, preferring it to due process.'
I'm not the average hippie, thank god. I'm not the average anything. And you are right that no average hippie, nor this hippie here seeks the existence of a police state. Unfortunately we mostly live in one, but believing Michael Jackson has bought his way out of allegations several years ago, and has bought his way into the service of a persuasive team of barristers this time, does not in any way equate to seeking a police state.

Breathe out.

The adorable custard spy jumped in with her own wonderfulness: 'Metratron, sort yourself out! Consider this: would any other 45 year old man found to have been sleeping with children get away with it? Really? And for someone who wants an evidential basis for statements, please at least have the courtesy to READ Hippie's blog before you accuse her of making judgements on the basis of appearance (I don't believe the post made any reference to MJ's looks)or gender. In contrast, you've demonstrated your own tendency to do this with your facile assumption of "she's a feminist - she must hate Michael Jackson because he's a man"! Think about it. Learn something new yourself.', to which I nod a lot and smile and giggle, and slowdown rejoined the discussion, with 'I concur. I don't see what Hippie's opinion on Jackson has to do with feminism, apart from the fact that Metatron obviously seems uncomfortable with both. I also suspect that he/she/it meant 'objectivity' rather than 'objectivism', but that's just the sort of slip people tend to make when indulging in their own subjective rants. They also tend to forget that they're on a blog - where strong personal opinions are to be expected - and consequently end up forgetting their manners. But that's just my opinion.'

I am mainly quoting those last two comments, rather than discussing them. This is partly because they articulately and cleverly make their own points very clearly, and it is partly because I'm really tired now and need to rest! But waves to Custard Spy and slowdown for knowing why I blog, and why I'm not an appalling person who makes judgements on the basis of unusual facial features.

Michael Jackson...

has been found... not guilty. What the fuck is that about????

I am so sick on hearing those verdicts.

I heard an interview on the radio with him a few minutes ago, in which he referred to himself as a black luminary. Where on earth do you start with deconstructing a statement like that?!

I hate him.

I cannot publish this post yet because of blogger errors. Don't know if the whole world is blogging the not guilty nightmare.

Great quote, though, from a woman from Kidscape who was on The World Tonight just now. If I had one thing to say to Michael Jackson, it would be for God's sake, stop sleeping with boys. Quite.

In 1996...

So, what do you do then?

Whenever I meet someone new, usually their 2nd, 3rd or 4th question is, 'So what do you do?'.

I live in dread of that question because there are so many ways to answer it, but none which ever quite fit into the smalltalk nature in which it was asked.

I could answer, variously:

• Nothing, I'm mad


• Lots of things, I'm just not paid for any of them


• I'm studying


• I do mental health stuff


• I hate people who define others by what they do


• My main achievement is still being alive at the end of each day


• I cry a lot, have panic attacks, and hear and see allsorts that noone else does


• I leech my money from your hard-earned taxes

They're all true, but I rarely want to go into any of them really. And rarely do. Other than 'I do mental health stuff', which I say quite frequently while avoiding the real meaning of do, the others depend on my moods and that day's bitterness level towards a scary and presumptious world.

In any case, DH Kelly explores this exact issue on Ouch this week.

--

Every week I receive a newsletter in my Inbox from World Wide Words, a fantastic resource full of great information for linguaphones (a word? or just a company selling foreign language courses for £loads?) like me. From last weeks, I loved,
Weird Words: Valetudinarian

A person who is unduly anxious about their health.

The everyday word for a person of this sort is "hypochondriac", but
this polysyllabic and literary term is a good alternative at times
when it is desirable not to seem too unkind. In November 2004, the
word appeared in an obituary of the football writer Arthur Hopcraft
in the Independent: "Fastidious, set in his ways and prematurely
balding, Hopcraft had an air of the valetudinarian bachelor about
him from a relatively early age."

The word appears in the language in 1703, in the third volume of
William Dampier's A New Voyage Round the World. Dampier was an
extraordinary explorer, map-maker and buccaneer; a couple of years
after he published this volume he commanded a privateering voyage
during which Alexander Selkirk, the model for Robinson Crusoe, was
marooned. He wrote: "Many of our English Valetudinarians have gone
from Jamaica...to the I. Caimanes,...to live wholly upon Turtle
that abound there". (He's referring to the Cayman Islands, these
days famous more as a refuge for the money of the reclusive rich
than for sick people.) A writer in the Gentleman's Magazine in 1787
remarked that: "Every one knows how hard a task it is to cure a
valetudinarian."

The word is from Latin "valetudinarius", in ill health. And I can't say I'm not wondering whether I'm a valetudinarian would be a good answer to the question I opened with... it wouldn't be accurate, but it would at least be something to say!

--

Waste Online is a fantastic resource. If you want to know how to dispose of pretty much anything in as environmental a way of possible, they have ideas for how to re-use, recycle, donate it. So if you're wondering what to do with old video tapes, or cooking oil, or old hearing aids, freezers or even fire extinguishers, you'll find great ideas there.

--

I am very, very, very happy to hear that Fathers for Justice have disbanded. I was informed of this by the rather excellent Truth About Rape women, and the F4J statement on the issues has caused me much cackling. Ha.

Akathisia, Biganimals, Councils, Donethings, Extragoodlinks ABCDE.

Go Sheffield! For being one of only two councils in the country to choose to house a group of people fleeing intolerable conditions. And shame on all the others.

And check out this liger... a lion / tiger cross that is monumentally huge!

Sometimes I get a form of either restless legs syndrome or akathisia from medication, which can feel absolutely torturous when I'm lying in bed and trying to get to sleep. For anyone else similarly afflicted, a bar of soap could be worth a try... Of course I'm sceptical, but given that my incredibly persistent verruca may actually be being reduced by daily applications of garlic strapped to it, I'm more open to suggestions nowadays!

Check out links on the right of the screen, by the way. I only put them there cos they're fab. My favourites of the day are On Becoming a Homosexual... and 360 Degrees of Sky.

And finally, a meme stolen from birdychirp:

Ten Things I've Never Done

1. Windsurfed


2. Liked my stomach


3. Got a suntan


4. Learned Japanese


5. Cheated on a partner


6. Had a perm


7. Found Jim Davidson funny


8. Lived a tidy, organised existence


9. Been to Sweden


10. Eaten sushi

And you...?

Charity Fuck-ups, Dugongs, Stigma, and Queer Marching.

I am so angry. It seems that thousands of the Make Poverty History wristbands were manufactured in conditions that breach international ethical standards.

Chinese companies responsible for wristbands worn by thousand of charity supporters [...] have been accused of indulging in forced labour and of paying less than the official minimum wage. An audit also discovered breaches of health and safety regulations.

[...]

An audit report on Fuzhou Xing Chun Trade Company, in Fujian province, said workers were paid below the local minimum hourly wage of 2.39 yuan (16p), to as low as 1.39 yuan (9p). They were insufficiently rewarded for overtime work, had no paid annual leave and suffered pay deductions for disciplinary reasons.

Paid nine pence an hour... for fuck's sake. This is an organisation whose purpose is supposed to be to rid the world of poverty, and they are selling junk which was made in horrific and exploitative conditions, to make their point? They didn't think it was worth bothering to find this out before placing the orders? Or what?? How on earth did this happen, because I for one am angry and really, really disillusioned.

On another issue, we need to save the dugongs. Really. Do it.

The Archers has won an award, the Mind Champions of the Year award in fact, for the person or group making the biggest contribution to challenging the stigma surrounding mental health problems. Yey for Ambridge!

The Mayor of Warsaw has banned their gay Pride march. Apparently the same happened last year. Local members of the gay community have decided to march regardless, and you can offer them your support, and protest the ban here. I mean, for goodness' sake, a load of gay people walking down a street? That shouldn't be banned, no more than a load of people with brown hair, or a load of people who are wearing jeans, or a load of people who can speak 3 languages, or any such random gang of people should be. I am fully aware I'm not making much sense, but let us march!

I'm tired and haven't been online til now for almost a week, so that's it for now.

Have a rest, from me. 

I've been 28 for a week.

Chesney's back!! That's right, the one-hit wonder who you may remember being The One and Only is coming to my lovely city of Sheffield to sing. I shall be sure to stay as far away as possible.

I had the joy of a Roman Catholic education. This meant occasionally going on retreats, during one of which we had to meditate for several hours on the lyrics of that song... I am the one and only. There's nobody I'd rather be and so on. Profound stuff, you can see... Hmm.

Who is the Piano Man? It is such a sad story, and so evocative.

I am not doing very well lately, it's all a struggle. Trying to keep on top of things, including hippie blog.

Crisis, Crass, Clue.

Radio Four Faces Strike Chaos. Crisis time! It seems that on Monday, there may be no Today Programme, World at One, Start the Week, Woman's Hour, Front Row... and the list goes on! Live programmes basically, as many of the producers, researchers and editors will be striking. What on earth will I do? And they may even be blacked out rather than replaced by something pre-recorded. A big radio 4 shaped hole... :(

The French for self-harm seems to be automutilation. The verb, s'auto-mutiler. I had wondered before and generally settled on se couper while knowing while it wouldn't be the proper term, it would work. S'auto-mutiler and automutilation though, are awful terms! Yack!

I will cheer myself up by listening to an old Clue.

Smear Smears.

The NHS has recently changed their guidelines for frequency of cervical smear tests. They have decided it is adequate to invite women to have their first pap smear at 25, followed by a test every 3 years, until the age of 49. Then, between the ages of 50 and 64, women will be invited to have a smear test every 5 years.

That's all fine, their reasoning sounds, well, reasonable.

I learned all this while in the waiting room at my GP practice last week, and picked up the leaflet for something to do.

Then when I had read all that, I started looking at the various translations of the vital information which the leaflet also contained.

My gluey collage which you can see above contains the chart in English explaining the new system, and its translation into French. If you know any French, click on the image to look in more detail, and go mistake-spotting.

Because it's actually a huge, huge mistake. French-speaking people in South Yorkshire will be very, very scared.

They are being told that between the ages of 25 and 49, they will need three smear tests every year, and then between 50 and 64 they will require five smear tests every year. My own experience of the evil tests are that the results wouldn't even be back before the next one was due!

So, a big oops for whoever the French translator for that leaflet was. I dread to think what they may have mangled in the many other languages on there which I can't read or speak.

I called the Cervical Smear Screening Programme that morning and informed them of the error, and the woman I spoke to sounded stunned, as I was, that that had somehow gone out, and said that she would contact the South Yorkshire programme which had put out the leaflet.

So, Hippie saved the day. Or something! Look out for new leaflets!

Germaine - Splendiforous. Blunkett - Scary as Fuck.

Germaine Greer on Any Questions last week, on ID cards:

Valerie Black. There's a rumour that the ID card is dead, do the panellists mourn its potential demise?
[...]
DIMBLEBYGermaine Greer.

GREERWell now I'm the sort of person who loses things like ID cards [LAUGHTER]. It has occurred to me several times to want to ask why do I have to have all these bits of paper with pictures of my face on them when this is my face. Could you not put a stamp on me like an egg that says registered authentic image or person number and then they could put my concentration camp number after that. I don't - girls clothes have no pockets - have you noticed that - where are we going to put the bloody thing? I'm already carrying all kinds of credit cards and driving licences and god knows what in my bra, I'm going to end up with a library. [LAUGHTER AND CLAPPING] Now tell me that for all my bits of paper I would now have one bit of paper and they would stable that to my hide so I couldn't lose it, it would be waterproof, then it would be fine but failing that all I see is chaos and despair. I will never know where the bloody thing is. And the other thing about this country, I don't know if you've noticed, but people are always asking to see documents that they're not entitled to see - they want you to put your address on the back of cheques and all this kind of thing, they're not happy with your credit card, you've got to give them something else. Every Tom, Dick and Harry's going to ask to see your bloody ID card. And if it's a certain petrol station in East London they're going to run away, forge it and then bring it back to you saying thank you very much.

DAVIESI think we could help you with this problem Germaine. For visiting Australians or long term resident Australians we could have sort of boomerang shaped ones. [LAUGHTER]

GREERListen ...

DAVIESEasier to secrete around your person.

GREERDon't you joke about that, I mean at this moment it looks as if my permission to stay here indefinitely is about to be rescinded by this wonderful government, for the simple reason that I have a new passport and I'm going to have to bribe someone with £250 in order to get the stamp that is mine by right. Don't trust this government, I mean if they can think of a way of milking you for the ID card, we haven't talked about how much it's going to cost, then you'll be paying through the nose, it will be a blood stained little object. And if you're very, very poor you won't be able to afford to have one anyway.

DIMBLEBYSo to summarise you're against ID cards? [LAUGHTER AND CLAPPING

For the person who found hippie blog by googling pcos radio bbc 2005, there was an interesting segment on polycystic ovarian syndrome on Woman's Hour today. You can listen to it here.

Damon Rose's column in this week's ouch newsletter is all about David Blunkett having been made Work and Pensions Secretary, and thus essentially in charge of disability benefits. I, like him, am rather scared at this prospect. He has been vicious in many ways in his other roles in the government and there's no evidence to suggest this one will be any different. And what's more, I have wondered what Damon wonders:

Will the fact that he is disabled allow him to put the boot in? Or rather, make bold changes that will confuse the now reduced number of back-benchers sufficiently enough to allow reforms through? Though Alistair Darling may have seemed politically incorrect with an attack on disabled people, and caused what some saw as a kneejerk rebellion, will it seem so bad if done by a disabled man?

Yikes [holding disability benefits behind my back and reversing to keep them safe and existent...].

A gift for you. Unlimited refills available. :) 

Heterosexuality Questionnaire.

• What do you think has caused you to be heterosexual?


• When and how did you first decide you were a heterosexual?


• Is it possible your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of people of the same sex?


• If you've never slept with a person of the same sex, how do you know you wouldn't prefer it?


• Isn't it possible your heterosexuality is just a phase you may grow out of?


• Isn't it possible that all you need is a good gay lover?


• If heterosexuality is normal, why are a disproportionate number of mental patients heterosexual?


• To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies? How did they react?


• Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex? Why are they so promiscuous?


• Do heterosexuals hate and/or distrust others of their own sex? Is that what makes them heterosexual?


• If you were to have children, would you want them to be heterosexual knowing the problems they'd face?


• Your heterosexuality doesn't offend me as long as you don't try to force it on me. Why do you feel compelled to seduce others into your sexual orientation?


• The great majority of child molesters are heterosexuals. Do you really consider it safe to expose your children to heterosexual teachers?


• Why do you insist on being so obvious, and making a public spectacle of your heterosexuality? Can't you just be who you are and keep it quiet?


• How can you ever hope to become a whole person if you limit yourself to a compulsive, exclusively heterosexual lifestyle, and remain unwilling to explore and develop your homosexual potential?


• Heterosexuals are noted for assigning themselves and each other to narrowly restricted, stereotyped sex-roles. Why do you cling to such unhealthy role playing?


• Even with all the societal support marriage receives, the divorce rate is spiralling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?


• How could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual like you, considering the menace of overpopulation?


• There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed that could help you change if you really wanted to. Have you considered trying psychotherapy or even aversion therapy?


• Could you really trust a heterosexual therapist/counsellor to be objective and unbiased? Don't you fear he/she might be inclined to influence you in the direction of his/her own preferences?


• How can you enjoy a full, satisfying sexual experience or deep emotional rapport with a person of the opposite sex when the differences are so vast? How can a man understand what pleases a woman, or vice-versa?

Time for Democracy in the UK? I hope so.

I'm maybe coming round to the idea that the election results aren't as shit as I'd thought.

Ok so warmongering Labour won, but with their much smaller majority, the President Dictator Blair won't be able to make as many presumptions, won't be able to get away with as much, won't be able to be so prescriptive without caring about what his other party members think.

He may, then, need to start consulting his party and his MPs, and producing policies which his MPs will vote for. As that will be important now, without the huge number of 'spare' MPs to guarantee a result, even if there were a number who didn't agree.

So I'm hoping that their smaller majority may restore some democracy to this country's government.

Time will tell.

Random, Relevant or Representative?

This may at first glance appear to be a random post, made up of completely unrelated nonsense. But, it is fairly representative of how my life works, how my surfing goes, and the kinds of stuff I like to read or do. So, disability, freebies, funny stuff, money saving ideas, environmental campaigning, health issues... Welcome to a few hours of my life!

Brilliant article written by a woman talking about her experiences as a single disabled women, and the way she was treated by men who can be roughly split into groups: the stalker; the bottler and the healer. It's a great read once again from the marvellous Ouch.

You can get free ringtones for your mobile here.

You can giggle a lot here, or here, or this. But most definitely the first one.

You also must, must, must listen to Ian McMillan's poem / song about living in a marginal constituency, as commissioned by the Today Programme. I adore and love Ian McM!

I'm in one of those weeks where I cannot permit myself to spend any money. And even if I did, the bank wouldn't permit it to come out of my account. But even when things aren't totally dire financially, it's always good to consider Great Ways to Cut Back. It's a great thread on the MoneySavingExpert.com Forums at the moment. A few favourites of mine are:

• Rough Guide to Electricity Energy Consumption


• Old Style Recipe Index


• Pay Off Debts by Snowballing


• Letters to Creditors


• Some ideas from me

Also worth seeing is the thread of Slow Cooker Recipes which is making me lust after a slow cooker... Overall, the MoneySavingExpert site is really a great resource and I recommend it wholeheartedly!

Sign a Friends of the Earth petition against a US petition (filed after much lobbying from Monsanto types) with the World Trade Organisation, stating that EU reluctance to take GM foods is a illegal barrier to free trade.

Friends of the Earth believes that it's just the latest Bush government-led attempt to bulldoze over other countries' rights to protect their people and the environment.

So, sign here!

It is currently Deaf Awareness Week, apparently.

050505 - the morning after.

Voting. General Election. 05.05.05.

What on earth to do?

I couldn't vote Labour because under them, the conviction rate for reported rapes has reduced to 5.6%.
I couldn't vote Labour because they started a vicious war against Afghanistan and another against Iraq.
I couldn't vote Labour because they introduced tuition fees and top-up fees and abolished grants for University students.
I couldn't vote Labour because they have treated asylum seekers and refugees in this country in an appalling, dehumanising, unethical and racist manner.
I couldn't vote Labour because my (Labour) MP is awful.
I couldn't vote Labour because if I never hear Tony Blair's smugness again it will be too soon.
I couldn't vote Labour because they have made life much harder for many people on benefits.
I couldn't vote Labour because their proposed Mental Health Bill is draconian, discriminatory, unreasonable, and is designed to increase fear and prejudice against people with mental health problems.


I couldn't vote Conservative because they are even more racist and appalling with regards to asylum seekers and refugees than Labour are.
I couldn't vote Conservative because they have brought women's rights to abortion back onto the political agenda with a view to reducing access, or banning it altogether.
I couldn't vote Conservative because they have appalling views on women.
I couldn't vote Conservative because they supported the wars against Iraq and Afghanistan.
I couldn't vote Conservative because their politics and actions bear no relation to my own politics and actions.
I couldn't vote Conservative because when they were in power (most of my life) they caused catastrophes everywhere you looked.


I couldn't vote Liberal Democrats because much as they seem to say the right things, when they took over Sheffield Council in 1999 they started a scheme of privatisation and they unaffiliated Sheffield from having 'Nuclear-Free City' status, and described protests against this as gesture politics of yesteryear (I haven't forgotten), amongst other things.
I couldn't vote Liberal Democrats because they opposed the war in Iraq until it got too difficult, and then they backed down once it had started.
I couldn't vote Liberal Democrats because they are pro-pornography and pro-prostitution.
I couldn't vote Liberal Democrats because their biggest corporate donor is McDonalds.


I couldn't vote UK Independence Party because they are outdated.
I couldn't vote UK Independence Party because they are fairly single issue, and I disagree with them on that one issue.
I couldn't vote UK Independence Party because they have racist policies.
I couldn't vote UK Independence Party because for a brief period, Robert Kilroy-Silk was one of their MEPs.


I couldn't vote Veritas because there were no candidates in my constituency. Thank fuck. Cos they're awful.


I couldn't vote British National Party because they are racist shitheads.


I couldn't vote Respect Coalition because it is run by the SWP.
I couldn't vote Respect Coalition because George Galloway is anti-abortion.


Looking at the Sheffield Central election page, I can see that my least favourite Richard Caborn has kept the seat. This isn't surprising in such a Labour stronghold, but I am glad to see that his majority has reduced with a 9.1% swing from Labour to Lib Dem. He still got 14,950 votes though, which is obscene! And apparently in this constituency the turnout was just over 38%, which is ridiculously small. I think it clearly reflects the disillusionment people felt about all the parties, and about voting at all, especially in an area where there was little doubt as to the outcome.

Ali Qadar for the Liberal Democrats came second, with 26.3% of the votes (compared to 19.7% in 91). Then Tory, Green, Respect. The British National Party got 539 votes (spit) and 1.8%, and UKIP came last, with 415 votes.

The BNP in the Sheffield Hillsborough constituency got a terrifying 2010 votes, making up 4.4%.

I'm not happy about any of the results really, but I never expected to be. Labour have won, as expected, with a smaller majority, as expected. Tories have only gone up 1% in terms of total votes, but have gained seats. Lib Dems also got more votes but haven't made much progress in terms of actual seats. Greens have done better than before, which is promising, but so have the BNP, who stood a record number of candidates. Kilroy did so badly he almost lost his deposit. HA.

From Disillusioned in Sheffield, or should I now be known as 福田 菜摘?

---

My japanese name is 福田 (happy rice field) 菜摘 Natsumi (picks vegetables).
Take your real japanese name generator! today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

It really makes you wonder...

At some point in the middle of last night's insomnia, I heard on World Service that in Florida, a court had banned a 13 year old girl from having an abortion because she lacks the emotional maturity to make such a decision.

The girl, referred to as L.G., is living in what seems to be the equivalent of in care in the UK, and you can't help but wonder, if she supposedly lacks the competence to choose to have an abortion, how on earth can this court rule that she has to carry a pregnancy to full term? She's incompetent to make a choice regarding her own body and her own life, but by default competent to give birth to an unwanted baby and either look after it or give it away?

The court heard evidence that with regard to her physical health, an abortion at her age was much safer than completing a pregnancy and giving birth. The girl herself, from what I have read, seems to have argued articulately and convincingly about her reasons for wanting a termination, and yet some judge in some court bans her from going ahead, so she now, presumably, has to complete pregnancy and give birth. By which time she will be 14, still living in care (which she regularly runs away from), having a much huger decision to have to make.

Emotional immaturity?? Get some logic! And L.G., wherever you are, Good luck, and keep fighting. You deserve to have the choices involving what happens to your own body, and your own life, and I hope that despite the ignorance, stupidity and arrogance of the legal system you will get your wishes. And that goes for every other woman on this planet too.

How can you trust me with a baby if you can't trust me with a choice?

Collapses, Competitions, Sculptures, Sayings.

Here is a great video of a high-rise block of flats in the Norfolk Park area of Sheffield being demolished yesterday. There's a quite cool moment where they collapse the instant a bird flies behind them. Who'd have thought they were that powerful!

A few weeks ago, I won a competition on the rather lovely grownupgreen website. It involved writing a Letter from the Future, and I was stunned and so very happy when I got a phonecall saying I'd won :)

You can read the essay here. If you want to.

Anyone who reads hippie blog regularly will know about the death of Andrea Dworkin. On Saturday, the Guardian published the last thing she wrote before she died, entitled Through the Pain Barrier, about her experiences of chronic pain and disability which she endured through the last years of her life. It is powerful and thought-provoking and very poignant, given her death so soon after it was written.

Chinese Watermelon Sculpture (seriously) is really, really impressive. And I never knew it existed til, well, 14 seconds ago...

I leave you with a thought:
Give a man a fish and you will feed him for a day....give a man religion and he will starve to death while praying for a fish.

Beware of Sheffield Co-op cat food...! 

A bit of light relief...

01 Pick five songs that most people would know.
02 Select lyrics of up to but not surpassing 150 words from each one.
03 Go to Babelfish
04 Translate the lyrics from English to German to French to Portugeuse to English
05 Post the resultant gobbledigook and ask people to figure out what the songs are.

====

1. It does not form of the Jehuda, bad they take to it a song sad and they form it - you better. If if it remembers vocês vósdeixa- to it in your heart, can then better start to form it

2. This is the true life? This is a fancy joust? Verfangen in a landslide, is not run awayed - of the reality. If it opens your eyes, it looks at until skies and, they do not see me are a poor youngster, me need affection, parce necessarily that simple I came, simply to go, high a small number, little slightly, each possible way that really does not constitute the impacts of wind to me, to me.

3. A party launched the employee in the arrest of county. The volume of arrest was there and it collected too much jammern above. The volume was jumpin ' and the relation started to balance.' Should ' ve had been considered to sing it hit part jailbirds. If I made us - er to balance, each one, make to balance us. Each one in complete cell the block was dancin ' to the arrest rocking.'

4. Removed in Krippe absolutely no Krippe for a bed, small Lord Jesus has not stipulated its gentle head. The ASTRE in the luminous sky have looked at in lower parts, true and small Lord Jesus has put him that the dormente are on hay.

5. A God to store our pleasant queen, to live ours much time splendid queen, excluded God our queen sends its victorieux, happily and prachtvoll, much time, more on us to govern an excluded God our queen.

Weights and Whacks.

You can get the details from this Guardian article, but the news is that:

• Overweight people have a lower risk of early death than those whose weight is regarded as normal


• the finding has brought an immediate accusation that the serious health consequences of expanding waistlines in developed countries have been overstated.


• "What is officially deemed overweight these days is actually the optimal weight."

On another positive note, until this entry is referenced by search engines, I have a googlewhack! It is... neuroleptic flump. And yes, I know it breaks one of the mini-mini-mini rules, but wikipedia tells me it's technically called a fubawl. Yes indeed.

I got junk mail today from the Royal British Legion. Random. I also got a free sample of Surf washing powder though, and it was dressed in a grass skirt. 

Yikes.

I'm scared. Are you?

Me. A long, long time ago. 

In Vino Veritas.

I have ranted before about Robert Kilroy Silk, and since all that he has split off from UK Independence Party and started his own party, known as Veritas. It has amused me greatly that after looking through the first 40 pages of google results for Veritas, there is still no direct link to their party on there!

Even on a UK only search they still haven't come up by page 15 of results (and I'm getting bored of clicking).

Anyway, I actually know where their stupid site is, and the gist behind their whole campaign is, allegedly, truth and honesty. The other general theme behind their campaign is one of racism. Kilroy-Silk, when interviewed yesterday, stated that

"no-one voted for britain to become multi-cultural, it was imposed by those liberal fascists in london".

He is basically a hateful man, and I really quite detest him.

As a result of this and other things he has famously said in the past (all along the same racist lines), I got quite an evil grin when I received the following message:

Regardless of your views on Europe, I'm sure most of us can agree that [Kilroy] really is a horrible, horrible man.

His quote of today, "no-one voted for britain to become multi-cultural, it was imposed by those liberal fascists in london"

So wouldn't it be amusing if the opinion poll on his own website about the european constitution showed a yes vote.

Go on, regardless of what you really think, go to www.veritasparty.co.uk and vote YES in the poll.

So, I did just that. And Yeses were rapidly approaching Nos on there. That made me rather gleeful, I have to say.

Then this morning I was sent a link to Veritas-Lies. Oh yessss. Veritas, the party of truth and honesty, seems to have been playing around with the truth and honesty of the poll on their website.

Their poll originally asked 'Do you believe the U.K. should adopt the new European Constitution?' On 14 April 2004, a campaign was started on gay community website OUTintheUK.com, asking people to vote 'yes', in favour of the poll. By the evening of 15 April, the 'yes' votes were rapidly gaining ground on the 'no' votes, as shown in this screenshot, taken at 10pm on 15 April.

The vote narrowed to just 30 votes between 'yes' and 'no' at around 8am on 16 April. But by 9am the 'no' vote had shot up by 500 additional votes, as you can see in this screenshot taken at 11am on 16 April. The unlikeliness of 500 additional no votes genuinely being registered between 8am and 9am on a Saturday morning is reinforced by the fact that only 2,000 votes had been cast in total since the poll began on 2 February 2004.

However, at around 2pm on Saturday, the 500 additional votes suddenly vanished, leaving the 'yes' votes with a marginal lead. However, the wording of the poll had also been subtly changed to introduce a double negative: it now asked 'Do you believe the U.K. should not adopt the new European Constitution?' as you can see in this screenshot taken at 2.10pm on Saturday. This converted all the former pro-Constitution votes into votes against the Constitution.

The party that prides itself on 'truth' has shown quite admirably that it simply can't handle the truth.

Bearing all that in mind, I very much like this song that someone has written. It is a rather catchy theme song that I think Kilroy et al should consider adopting as the party anthem...

And finally, my hamsters seem to have bagged me some search engine referrals today. One person came to me via Pierrot 2005 knitting, and another via "Heidi and Clara" download. And while knitting may actually prove to be a suitable pastime for the rather lazy Pierrot, I'm afraid that Clara, and her unfortunately deceased sister Heidi are not available for download.

Bleaching and Books.

There is something incredibly disturbing about this article, Getting to the bottom of an unwholesome obsession. It seems that the 'latest thing' in beauty salons in Australia is anal / rectal bleaching. It is as horrific as it sounds. One of the beauticians "acknowledges that her long-term clients (many of whom come in for treatments every six weeks) suffer serious skin problems. "I explain that it will give them eczema and so on, but they want it anyway," she says", and the Australian Medical Association say that
"the use of harsh bleaching substances could cause anal burning and scarring. This, in turn, could lead to anal incontinence or an inability to pass stools at all."

It is called Sphincter Bleaching and the article points out a direct link to pornography. We already know how damaging pornography, and the messages sent out by pornography, are to women, and this is clearly spelt out:

"I've got one client who's a divorced woman with a couple of kids. She was looking at a Playboy magazine with her new boyfriend and he was making some comments about how clean and light the women looked. My client started to get a little paranoid."

It seems we need Andrea Dworkin more than ever. It also seems to me that this is the exact reason we need to carry on her work.

There are many people who have never come across Andrea's work, but are reading tributes to her life and politics and are keen to know more. They are asking for recommendations of what to read, and mine are as follows:

Life and Death: Unapologetic writings on the continuing war against women. This is my favourite of Andrea's works. It is a series of writings, essays, speeches, on different subjects around the area of male violence against women. I have read it several times and it never fails to fire me up, inspire me, scare me, and make me go out and act.

Pornography: Men Possessing Women is a seminal work on the effect of pornography on the women used in it, and the effect on how women are treated by men who use pornography. It is vivid and detailed and distressing and absolutely spot-on politically, and is very, very thoughtful and insightful.

Heartbreak: The Political Memoir of a Feminist Militant is Andrea's autobiography which gives fascinating details of her upbringing and life, and the context in which she based her radical feminism. It is an incredible book which frames her other works in a unique way.

Long Words and Lies.

This obituary is of the negative variety, though there are many, many worse. There were several words I had to look up, including:

vituperative - Using, containing, or marked by harshly abusive censure.

solipsist - one who adheres to the belief that self is the only thing that is real, and can be verified.

vituperation - abusive or venomous language used to express blame or censure or bitter deep-seated ill will.

invective - Denunciatory or abusive language; vituperation.

Those words give you an idea of the kind of writing it is, and the picture of Andrea which it invokes. Bitter, twisted, unreasonable woman.

They know nothing.

"Pornography is used in rape -- to plan it, to execute it, to choreograph it, to engender the excitement to commit the act," Andrea Dworkin testified before the U.S. Attorney General's Commission on Pornography in 1986

R.I.P. Andrea Dworkin