1 in 6 women would rather be blind than fat - so?

[The image is a disability access symbol for people with visual impairments. It has a dark blue background and a grey circle, in which there is a stick figure using what appears to be a cane. The image has been edited to add a fatter tummy and pink hair.]

I was alerted on twitter to a blog post about a recent study which reports that one in six women say they would rather be blind than obese. By sheer coincidence, I had just been reading Whose Tragedy? Towards a personal non-tragedy view of disability, by Sally French and John Swain (pdf), and this sentence stood out:

"To become visually impaired, for instance, may be a personal tragedy for a sighted person whose life is based around being sighted, who lacks knowledge of the experiences of people with visual impairments, whose identity is founded on being sighted, and who has been subjected to a daily diet of the personal tragedy model of visual impairment."

They go on to explain that the Tragedy model of disability and impairment "is not just significant for non-disabled people in understanding themselves and their own lives. It is extrapolated to assumptions about disabled people and their lives".

Non-disabled society's view of disability as something awful which happens to people is very disempowering, and negates the reality that what disables us is an inaccessible society, not the impairment(s) we may have. So, with that in mind, I found the horror with which the revelation that 'some women would rather be blind than fat' was met, to be very telling. Reading between the lines, I hear, Who on earth would rather be blind? Who would choose such a dreadful affliction over fatness?

How would that read to a blind woman? Oh em gee, some people would rather be like YOU than be fat! And how would it read to a fat, blind woman?! How much can we disempower disabled people in one go?

I agree that this survey suggests some very distressing things about women's attitudes to fatness and weight gain. It is depressing that being fat is so feared and so loathed. But saying that the most noteworthy of the things that women 'would rather be' was blind, and then using that as an example of just how incalculably far our body fascist society will make us go to avoid fatness, speaks volumes about our attitudes towards disability too.

Bibliofeminista's post ended by stating,

Maybe if we stopped fat-shaming and equating women’s attractiveness and worth to unreasonable, media-driven standards of beauty, women wouldn’t value their appearance over health..

But blindness in itself is not ill-health! There are very, very many completely healthy blind people, both thin and fat. While I agree with her absolutely about fat-shaming and unreasonable standards of beauty, the rest of the equation does not sit comfortably me, speaking as a fat, disabled woman. It makes me feel like women believe I must have the absolute worst of both worlds, and the last thing I want, when reading feminist websites, is to come away feeling worse about myself than when I started.

(With thanks to Leo Reynolds for the image which I used to create the picture above).

Judging Other Women, Judging Ourselves

One of the reasons I stopped reading women's magazines was due to the way they helped to create a mindset within me of judging other women's appearances. And in turn, my own.

All those pap shots, or red carpet shots, with captions such as "OMG, Celebrity A wore item X with item Y. The shame!" always made me start thinking "oh, I'm not supposed to wear X with Y? Since when? What else do I not know? Do I look stupid?"

And "OMG, Celebrity B's appalling outfit just draws attention to her problem areas, not flattering at all!" made me start seeing women's bodies in terms of 'problem areas' and how we must disguise them at all costs.

For what it's worth, I don't even consider the parts of my body that don't work so well as problem areas, so I hated applying that destructive judgement to my bits that are simply more bulgy than others.

But reading those hateful comments made me see similar 'sins' in real life, and the language of body fascism started to invade my consciousness. I was making snap judgements about other women's appearances. As soon as I clocked each thought, I'd immediately challenge it and reassure myself that I didn't think that really, but I hated that the snap judgements were happening at all.

And the more I judged others, the more those judgements affected my own self-esteem. If I could judge Celebrity C, even momentarily, for an unflattering top, when she is frankly at most 1/3 of my size and is conventionally beautiful, then really, what did I look like? And if the women who wrote these magazines, and other women who read them, judged conventionally beautiful and improbably slim women so badly, what on earth would they think of me?

So I stopped reading those magazines. I stopped reading reactionary statements about the supposed fashion sins committed by other women, and I stopped making those judgements about other women, and I began to stop making them about myself. It was one of the best things for my self-esteem and for my self-respect that I have ever done.

With this in mind, I was interested to read this blog post from polimicks.

I have been making a concerted effort to remove appearance-related insults from my vocabulary. Because honestly, if I'm pissed off at someone, it has NOTHING to do with what they LOOK like, and everything to do with what they ARE like.

This rang very true with me. Happy as I always am to argue endlessly against the politics of, say, Ann Widdecombe, I would also endlessly defend her when people criticising her resort to making fun of her appearance and weight. And they invariably do.

Firstly, there is no need. It is cruel, it is nasty, and no contribution for the advancement of women is ever made when politicians are only critiqued on their size and perceived attractiveness. Secondly, it is entirely irrelevant, and unhelpful to the argument anyway. If you want to slate Ann's position on abortion rights, go ahead. But you only devalue your own argument if you make any reference to her never needing one because 'she's so fat and ugly that noone would want to impregnate her'. And yes, I've heard that numerous times. This undermines any valid point within the rest of your argument, as well as being needlessly shallow and hateful.

Criticising other women's bodies goes counter to everything that feminism should stand for. It is hurtful to other women, and it is hurtful to ourselves. And it is irrelevant to any other criticisms of a person, be it their politics, their acting skills, their singing ability, their ability to read the news, or, frankly, anything at all.

You look fine. You really do. All of you.

It is no longer enough to hate your breasts, face, stomach, legs, nose, ears and lips enough to get them sliced and diced or injected with poison. It's no longer enough to have society tell you that your body is so very unacceptable that you should risk your life having major surgery in order to make it fit patriarchal 'rules' about thinness, pertness, tightness, hairlessness and perfection.

Now, you have to apply the same thinking to your vagina. Are the muscles stretched? Are your labia too big - or too small? Is your mons pubis too big - or too small? Ditto clitoris. Well, you can have those cut up too.

That article actually says,

So, if you or your partner is not satisfied with your vagina, a rejuvenation procedure can work wonders.

Your partner? If s/he is not happy with your vagina, that is entirely their problem! And is not ever a good reason for you to have it chopped up. In fact, if they are criticising your vulva or vagina, they certainly don't deserve you.

Amy Clare's review of a Channel 4 programme about 'designer vaginas' is worth reading.

I have had surgery twice this year, and the fear and pain associated with them made me think a lot about, and seriously question, why people would put themselves through that voluntarily. Just how strong are society's pressures, that they cause women to go through massive pain and lots of health risks, to get a smoother face or less saggy boobs?

When a woman chooses to have cosmetic surgery, I feel sad. Until we live in a society where what we look like is not used to oppress us, I question how much free choice we ever really have to make these decisions.

Resolve Not to Resolve

It's that date when, every year, people resolve to go to the gym, lose weight, cut out nice food and starve in the pursuit of thinness.

The fact is that you really do not need to do this. You are allowed, as a woman, to take up as much space as you take up. You are allowed to resist the messages relentlessly bashing us over the head from the media which insist that we copy celebrities and hate every inch of our body which is not clinging unhealthily to bones.

95% of diets fail. Their whole philosophy is one of deprivation and undernourishment, which is not something that the vast majority of people can stick to for any length of time. The result being a cycle of miserable starving and bingeing, which feels endless.

The trick is to stop dieting at all. Start to love yourself and your body exactly as they are. By all means do your best to eat well, but banning foods will make them more tempting than ever, and punishing yourself via what you put in your mouth creates a horribly negative relationship with food, and food is something that we have to deal with every day of our lives if we are to survive.

(Cross-posted at The F Word)

Designer Vaginas

I'm watching a documentary called The Perfect Vagina, about the rising trend of women having cosmetic surgery on their vaginas.

It is the fastest growing area of cosmetic surgery, and seems to be predominantly due to women's concerns about the size of their labia minora. In a medical research paper referenced in the programme, we learn that labia minora range in size from 20mm to 100mm, so naturally there is a lot of variation, but it seems that the vaginas we see, especially in porn, are 'perfect' and contained and neat, with small labia minoras, and this is making many women insecure. To the point of wanting surgery to reduce theirs.

Girls of 14, 15 and 16 are enquiring about the surgery, and the numbers seeking it are unprecedented.

The operation is called a labiaplasty and it is done under local anaesthetic, the woman being awake while her labia are sliced off. It can take three months for the vagina to recover after surgery.

The presenter, Lisa Rogers was clearly moved and alarmed by the attitudes she came across, from women, from men and from medical professionals. We also saw her own changes throughout the film.

She continually wanted women to love their bodies, and their vaginas, and could see clearly that cutting bits off and stitching bits up was not any kind of answer to the problem of us feeling so pressurised by our pornified society that even intimate parts of our bodies do not look 'right' and must be brutally modified.

The whole programme made me incredibly sad. It strikes me that hating our vaginas is yet another way that our patriarchal society infiltrates our minds and destroys women. Piece by piece.